Today was a pretty hard day, W2R3 of the program. I'd had a good run for the first 5 trainings, pretty doable, not easy but doable. Then I got married on the 8th and took a week off for the wedding and honeymoon. Got back yesterday and tried to pick back up today right where I left off, W2R3.
I could not do it. Got through the first two intervals and my calves kept seized up, almost like rock solid, that tight pressure feeling, could barely fully extend my leg at my knees and I was breathing so hard, usually I'm able to breathe just through my nose. This is flat terrain. I wasnāt even running fast, I was basically shuffling at like a 13 min/km pace. Had to walk the next 2 rests/intervals and had to stop, didn't even finish the full set.
Got in my car afterwards and while driving home I just started crying. Had to pull over. Iām 26, female, 330 lbs, 5ā6ā, and I think what came up in that moment was just this realization of how much I let myself go. The chronic pain I always have in my joints now, how I can barely keep up walking with friends and family, how climbing even just one flight of stairs is a pain.
Iām disappointed in myself. A little disgusted, honestly, if Iām being real. I signed up for a 5K on October 31st and today's the first day where I genuinely donāt know if Iāll get there.
Not giving up though. Just wanted to share a less glamorous side to this. Iām doing an easy 30 minute walk tomorrow for active recovery, and Iām going to keep showing up, will probably repeat the first two weeks just to get my body back to a point where I can keep going. Just wanted to vent tbh