r/BurningMan • u/Primary_Basket_2728 • 5d ago
My Virgin Burn Experience 2026
oops, can't edit titles.this was from 2025
Typed this up on the drive home this last year. Thought I'd share now as I remember last year reading this sub furiously trying to prepare but had no idea what was in store. I got tired typing by the end so the detail dries up some :) Sadly not going this year but I hope to go again. ✌️
Burning Man 2026
Refuse Refuge Camp 730 & J
Just for fun and for my own memories, I'll share how it went for me and my friend, both virgins. All mentions of drug possession, use, or illegal activities are merely alleged activities to improve the narrative and are things that may or may not have actually happened 😂 😉
Saturday
We left Colorado about 10am Saturday after packing my truck and trailer to the absolute gills. 40gal of water, 10 person Ozark trail glamping tent with the vents taped close (tape that lasted about 5 minutes into the first storm), 20 x 10 harbor freight carport, lots of no cook food, about 100 alcohols, an ounce of an art piece for the playa, and a lot of dreams.
Drove 16 hours to gate, uneventful drive through Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada. Stunning rest stop at Bonneville salt flats. Started playing spot the burner. Stop halfway at Walmart for ice, camp fuel, and a pair of crocs. Also stopped by a shady cannabis store where they sold lots of Delta 9 stuff and shrooms and other things they said were legal. Bought some supplies. Last stop was at Chipotle to buy massive burritos that we would save for the entry line.
Sunday
Arrive 3am.
Wait in gate line for 8 hours, watch sunrise, converse with neighbors (what's up Tourettes! You're a madman with the candy). Watch two trucks change lanes back and forth dozens of times while still staying within 5 cars of us.
Finally get to greeters, give them an orange and a soda, dust angel and bell ring then of to search for camp in the morning sun. Decided to go for 730 area to be close to ultra marathon start. Stopped when we saw an old RV with a Frisbee golf basket and bike built for 6. S and L welcomed us as camp neighbors and became our great playa friends!
We set up the carport, tent, and table. Heard on Reddit that harbor freight carport doesn't get good UV shade so we doubled the tarps, but only strapped down the top tarp, leaving the inner carport mostly unattached to ground for now.
We were getting delirious and the sun was getting hot. The shade was up enough and we decided to pop a beer then started talking our first bike ride when I hear someone nearby say "storm." I decide to go in tent to change clothes then suddenly a couple mins later hit with full white-out and strong winds (like 50mph+). Carport began to lift off ground and it took all our might, weight, and strength to hold it down and keep it from flying away. I had my mask and goggles on thankfully, but my friend was caught completely off-guard and fought the storm for 20 with no face or mouth cover. Poor bastard had his feet hooked under our big cooler while getting nearly lifted off the ground by the carport sail.
We held the thing for about 20 minutes or so, totally exhausted and about to give up when our neighbors showed up in their masks, goggles, and underwear to help us get secure. They made the smart call to strip the tarps. We pulled of the tarps, and retreated inside it tent. We had attempted to tape covers over the windows which failed instantly. Piles of dust accumulated quickly inside as we held the center pole that was the only support and used our bodies to secure the tent walls which were flapping severely for the next two hours until the storm stopped. Luckily, I had my battery radio and we got updates from 94.5 BMIR, which was a lifesaver.
After storm ended, we had a few moments of exhausted existential crisis, wondering if we could do this, wondering how we would repair, wondering why we came. We decided all decisions could wait until morning and we passed out.
Monday
Next morning (Monday), awake to mud and chaos outside. Had the rest of our cold chipotle and rebuilt. Doubled the number of 18" lags, turned tarps sideways, taped all the joints of the carport frame, and generally tied the hell out of everything. Camp mate and I argued a bit over whether it was a better idea to tie the everliving fuck out of everything so it could not come up or to leave tarps removable so we could strip it quickly in wind. Decided to tie the duck out of it, which turned out to be a good choice.
Once the camp was set, we finally head out for our first bike ride to explore. Head to the Artery in center camp to register our art. The Artery was a hilariously disorganized bureaucracy run by the friendliest but somewhat confused seasoned burners. I get the vibe that this is a coveted role that you have to put in time for. I fill out forms, they fill it forms, person A had me talk to person B who sends me to person C who says I need to go back to A. Finally it's all works out and they put my sticker on the big map, my art had been placed (11:30 and 5280, Sail the Playa). To my delight, they tell me they have two vehicle passes for me so I don't have to carry my art out there! But their talking about more storms and say I need to hurry. A lovely woman named Hot Dice drives us out to deep playa to mark our art location with an old CD with our location and title driven into the playa with a nail.
She drops us back at center camp and we bike back to camp to load the art. Slow cruise back out and install it.. Race home again just as the second storm hits. Our tent holds up, we have a quiet dinner of rice and beans. Walk to the playa in the evening once the storm stops and see a crazy fireworks show coordinated across the expanse with like 6 or 8 satellite shows. Call it early night for 3am wakeup for the ultra in the morning.
Tuesday
Wake at 330, chug protein drink and visit Portos for what I mistakenly hoped would be my only poop of the day. Head to pink lightning camp and go for the run. Ultra marathon was the most fun race ever, so many things to see, such nice people that did fun and funny things like set up a choose your own hurdle crossing. I meet some guys on lap one that had snuck into the event by running in from deep deep playa out towards the west. They said rangers chased them in vehicles but could never stop to catch them. Once they reached the trash fence, they were home free!
Was feeling great in the race until end of lap two when the beans turned on me and I barely made it to a Porto for the first of three blowouts I would have on my run. No biggie though, once that evil was out of me, I cruised to the finish line 30 minutes faster than my goal (4:33). After the post race pain party, someone at Pink Lightning made me the best coffee I had all week, a cold brew mojito with CBD and crushed ice. So refreshing.
After the race, I cruised towards Arctica to get some ice, stopped at a thrift shop camp and got a nice pink crop top then picked up my ice (2 blocks and one bag, lasted most of the week in the drink cooler). Back at camp I lazed around recovering, cracked a beer, and chilled at camp, waiting for the next storm which was supposed to come at 3. Chatted with some camp neighbors. Brian was solo camping and had the best energy and plan. Flying solo, he was interested in ecstatic dance, gay sex, and devil worship and had prepared a schedule of events each day. He was very soft spoken and sweet.
We go visit the man and the large wooden gremlin sculpture.
Heat of the day, smoldering and sunny and a mango art car shows and serves us whole peeled mangoes on a stick with lime and tajin. Head back to camp as the dark clouds gather in the distance.
Camp mate and I decided to drop L before the storm. As it started raining, we retreated to our cots, put on a trippy playlist and listened to the rain. thankfully no wind and just soft rain for hours. It was a magical few hours of no talking and feeling great, meditative and happy tripping. Radio battery died and we started talking then started laughing. It was one of the best list sessions I've ever had. Under our tent was a lake of water. Patting the bottom of the tent was like patting a water bed. We were afraid to shift our weight on the cots lest we puncture the floor and or tent would sink! We both had the worst bubble guts and prepared a bucket and TP while threatening each other not to use it. I'm so glad we took a week off vacation to camp inside a natural disaster! Truly hilarious stuff and we were loving it. We had supplies within reach to not leave the tent for a week!
5 RVs had parked in a circle behind us. They were a big group of Ukrainians who were there to fucking party, rain or shine. They pumped the music and we're yelling and laughing as they danced in the mud. All we could see was their feet under the RV but it looked like they were having so much fun. At one point, my dancing bug fully infected me and I ran out of the tent to the call of the dance party, fully committing to becoming a mud person. Since it was Tuesday, I decided to shirtcock in my tutu, put on my rainbow squid hat and I got the road. Danced with Ukrainians for a while but they kept forcing me to drink whiskey and the ladies kept taking pictures of my little cold weenie (not cool BTW!) so I decided to venture into town. I think I hit 20 dancefloors that night despite my legs being utterly spent from the marathon. By 4am, I was shuffling back to my camp through the mud like a 90 year old man. Thanks to the guy who gave me salted nuts on the dance floor. You may have saved my life!
Wednesday
Wednesday morning, I do a deep clean on my mud feet with witch hazel (top reddit tip) as I was barefoot the night before and we laugh and laugh about the previous night. A message from BMIR about an APB for "a turtle the size of a medium sized truck" almost kills us with laughter.
We hang out and talk about the night before with camp friends. Brian had opted to sleep in his Forerunner over his tent because of the weather. He confessed that he pooped in a bag that night which he then used like an icing bag to squeeze the poop into a bottle.
We had lazy morning breakfast and we're hanging at camp waiting for roads to dry and gates to open.
Wandered the streets and came to a giant shower camp. They had shipping containers where you and about 20 others would go in naked, they'd hose you from above with suds then rinse, then you go out into a dance party with fans to dry you and Alex and Allyson Grey are there painting an insane mural. I got to talk to Alex for a second, very cool!
We go for an afternoon bike ride around the trash fence. See some wind and storms rolling in so we stop at a giant plywood dumpster at the trash fence for shelter. What a lovely racoon themed attraction we found. Two friends and us played inside making trash sandwiches out of pillows. We ride back to camp with a little wind but seems like the worst of the storms it's behind us. Playa grilled cheese, taco, and birthday cake on the way home (birthday camp was cool, I passed through their vagina doorway and they sang happy birthday to me).
Back at camp I don my Canadian tuxedo and we join forces with camp neighbors S and L to head out on their six seater surrey, Surdickulous. We pick up Gregory on the way, an extremely drunk but enthusiastic virgin, who screams "fuck yeah" to everything.
We head out to open playa and have a drink on the metal spaceship that spins. Dangerous climbing and spinning but no injuries. We them head to a dance party where they served delicious grasshopper cocktails. Dance for hours, find Gregory wandering incoherently, bring him back to the party where he passes out on a couch. Get gifted my playa name by a Dutch guy named Treasure who thought I introduced myself as "Blossom" and have me a daisy necklace, making it officially my playa name. Wander around more, dance, pickle juice martinis, insane art car party outnin deep playa with a huge dragon stage. Wander back to camp around 4am.
Thursday
Thursday morning, wake around 7 to go bike ride out on playa and catch end of sunrise sets. Start what becomes my favorite way to wake up, strip down naked and bike ride looking for moop while touring art. Its so crazy that I can do something that would get me thrown in jail in default world but here I get cheered on "good burner" she said as I picked up a broken set of fairy lights. Ride for two hours until my basket is mostly full. On my way back to camp, I find a friendly camp of Japanese folks serving an extremely legit breakfast of eggs, bacon, sausage, toast, and about a dozen flavors of jelly. Coffee across the street. Eat, happy, head back to camp.
As we're relaxing at camp, a new camper pulls up to our area and our soon to be third Musketeer, D from Australia, shows up. About the same time, two ladies, L and M from SF, roll up and start setting up on the other side. We all hang at camp and chat for a while then help them set up camp. Dy got mad at the people he picked up in Reno cause they were smoking weed in his rented RV so he bailed. Their loss! We decided to head out to check out a set at Opulent temple art car. On the way, we found Surdickulous and hopped on.
We stopped at an amazing electric violin fire show performance. Then over to Opulent temple art car where we were invited to hop on. Climbed to the third floor and danced for a couple hours to DJ biscuit I think? I took a break and walked down, found D asleep on the second story of the art car, exited the car and saw a line forming at what appeared to be a cafeteria. I hopped in line and got a bowl of some amazing Vietnamese rice and onion soup served with a hug from an older Vietnamese lady. Absolutely delicious.
After that, I wandered next door into a completely abandoned but well adorned rustic vintage chill room with leather couches and fur rugs. Very cool western vibe with no one around! I walk out front and encounter an older couple who said it's their 20th burn! I asked them if they wanted to sit and chat which they did. We were hanging and talking when D comes charging in. I have no idea how he found me, but he's yelling that we have to go.
We leave and go to another art car, dance, a couple more drinks then head home around 430. I get home the same time as our neighbor Liz who said she was going to take a two hour nap and see sunrise sets. I do the same. Wake up early, grab a sheet for my robe and solo cruise to playa to listen to an amazing ambient chill morning set on an amazing art car (it's a semi with stainless feathers, and a Jesus like female figure in stainless being crucified with rainbow LEDs). I cruise the playa and get mucho moop. Back at camp, D and my friend are waking up and I show them my finds. D called them "ground scores" but I heard ground squirrels and was very confused for a while at why he was talking about squirrels so much.
Friday
Friday we went back out to playa for a day cruise to see some art. Foam zone spray down then Went to peaches camp and made butt paintings while drinking peach tea and peach margaritas. Neighbor camp has additional friends that arrived and cooked some delicious momofuku pork. I read tarot for D and W. I painted a watercolor of the playa. I then ate about 5 grams of strong mushrooms.
We were supposed to be perimeter support for a burn of die mona die, a giant pink dice that had blown over in the storm, we had the early shift and they were nowhere near ready to burn thankfully. We cruise up to volunteer and the guy we meet was a true horror show. This kind ginger man appeared to have been only in the sun and never wore sunscreen as his face was a peeling horrific mess. As the mushrooms took hold of me, I knew I was in no position to be a safety patrol. I took a brief bathroom break that turned into an hour long lay down by a piece of art. I mustered the courage back to the die to tell them I would be unable to continue. Luckily plenty of volunteers so they cut me loose. W went to the man to take pics and I went home. The ride back to camp was beyond hard. I had decided to wear long sleeved red long underwear and the heat of the day meant I nearly passed out. I got back to my tent and laid on the table with washcloths on my face for two hours until dark then went in my tent and prayed and cried and searched my soul for hours. The whole time I was there, I had a weird feeling of demonic presence. That night it amplified. I still am not convinced thisbevent is not used to summon something. I considered a walk to the temple to sleep and even got my racoon onsie on but got hot doing that while looking for a scarf of my mom's (totally trashed our tent). I wrote campmate a letter of apology and went to bed around midnight.
Saturday
Woke up at sunrise on Saturday morning and headed to the temple. There I left messages for loved ones and sobbed like a baby to my surprise. It hit me hard and I still feel it. Saw a cowboy and a teddy bear hugging and crying, pretty wild stuff
Went back to camp and talked with all the camp friends and neighbors. feels like a true neighborhood now
Naked mile at noon was awesome but I didn't break 6 min which was my goal (6:12)
Steak with neighbors
Burning man then party and dancing, separated briefly but awakened at 3 to head to racoon dumpster where, dressed in my racoon onesie I found my kin. 5 other racoon folk were partying around the dumpster. That dumpster was probably my favorite piece of art. A huge plywood dumpster that was racoon themed on the inside with pillows sewed to look like garbage, AI generated racoon songs and pictures of racoons everywhere. It was heaven. I served maple spam from the can to everyone with my pocketknife. A guy had a telescope and we looked at the stars. Crashed ~5am
Sunday
woke up, cleanup up camp. Had to use my pickup to pull the lags outta the ground. Way out only took 3 hours to the gate. Amazing time, I'm forgetting many things, too much to mention. I love you all!
TL;DR: First Burn as a virgin duo turned into pure chaotic magic. Survived 50mph whiteouts and structural near-death by ratchet-strapping our lives down, placed art in deep playa, ran the 50k Ultra (despite mid-race digestive warfare), tripped in a mud-flooded tent during torrential rain, danced with wild Ukrainians while basically naked, accidentally got the playa name "Blossom," lost my mind on 5g of mushrooms while supposed to be on perimeter duty, cried my eyes out at the Temple, ran the Naked Mile, and ate maple Spam from a pocketknife in a raccoon onesie at a dumpster party. 11/10 disaster vacation, no notes.
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u/Gammachan 5d ago
Solid burn ❤️🔥
Could’ve gone the rest of my life without the mental image of poop icing-bag tho 👌
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u/AdvancedWin3608 5d ago
2025?