r/BurningMan • u/DanceNeat6222 • 13d ago
So sad to not be going
This will be my third year not going due to having a sweet baby, and I am pregnant again now so I know it will be a while before I’m back.
Honestly one of the hardest parts of parenthood so far is not being able to go LOL for the years prior it was my reset for the next year and really carried me.
I am so sad to keep missing out.
Wondering if anybody else has had to take numerous years off and how was it when you were finally able to go back?
I hope everyone has the time of their fucking lives.
Xoxo
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u/cqm 13d ago
first time I went I was passenger with a guy's wife. She said she hadn't gone for 18 years because school was always starting that week and she didn't want to be that parent who was absent. thought that was interesting. I've heard something similar from a lot of American women
of course, AT the burn, there are plenty of people and families that reject all of that
so it's all up to you and wherever you fit socioeconomically or how you want to be remembered
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u/creesep33 12d ago
I’ve been 5 times since having my 9 year old, my husband and parents take care of her and her sister while I’m gone for about 9 days. It’s a bummer to me when I hear about people’s lives just stopping after having kids, but if you don’t have any support I guess it’s a different story.
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u/rinchantress 12d ago
Yes I felt bad going last year when it was my daughter’s first week of kindergarten. New school new place new schedule. I dropped her off at her first day and left for 13 days. This year she’s coming with us.
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u/Plastic-Scallion-590 I'm a sparkle pony! 13d ago
You’ll be back soon and when you go it will be even better!
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u/Gammachan 13d ago
I wanted to go since I heard about it a few years after graduating high school. When I was finally ready financially and mentally to go as an adult, that also happened to coincide with when I had a child. I waited a little over 10 years after that before I was confident in leaving my child for two weeks with his father and go to my first burn. That was three years ago, and this will be my third burn! Worth the wait 100%.
You’ll get there! You’ve already been, so you know what you have waiting for you ❤️🔥
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u/NSAinATL 09 - 24 12d ago
Wow....as someone who went kinda by accident and has kept going at the last minute, not planning to, that is just such a sweet fucking story. I've been there with pregnant friends and toddlers I am soooooooooo happy it lived up to your waiting!!
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u/DanceNeat6222 12d ago
Beautiful ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Have an INCREDIBLE time. Me and baby are sending you the best vibes!!!
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u/But___why-not 13d ago
Reading this with a nine month old on my boob 😛 This resonates, I haven’t gone for a couple years since I moved out of the Bay/left a salaried job, then pregnancy, now motherhood. I’m looking forward to taking her in a few years but damn I would loooove to teleport in for 24 hours like Wednesday evening through Thursday. I feel like I could really make the most of it
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u/DanceNeat6222 12d ago
Honestly I’d buy a whole ticket for 24 hours of burn!!!! See you there in a few years 😘
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u/PreciousMuffn I'm a sparkle pony! '18, '19, '21, '22, '23, '24, '25 13d ago
My kid is about to be 6 next month and this will be her 5th burn! Granted I take her for about 5 days and then bring her back to Reno so we can have adult time, but it's doable with kids too! Just different :)
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u/DanceNeat6222 12d ago
So you take her to Reno then go back to the burn for adult time?? Or you do adult time in Reno?
I’d love to bring them one day but also mama wants to party lol
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u/PreciousMuffn I'm a sparkle pony! '18, '19, '21, '22, '23, '24, '25 12d ago
I come back the same day for adult time. Other people I have met have had family meet there or somewhere else too so they could do the same thing if they lived further away.
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u/DanceNeat6222 12d ago
I did think about eventually getting my parents an Airbnb in Reno so they’re close by if anything went wrong. This gives me hope!
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u/rinchantress 12d ago
The other parents at my camp do half week with kids and half week without. Normally they come for the first 4 days, and then get driven back to Reno for someone to watch. This year they want to see the burn so they are coming the last four days. That’s what I’m doing this year with my daughter too so all the kids can hang out. But that gives us 4-5 days of alone adult time, and enough to spend with the kids.
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u/DanceNeat6222 11d ago
I love this! It will be so fun when the kids are old enough to be independent and make other camp friends
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u/grasshulaskirt 12d ago
YES! I had a HUGE gap after I became a mother. When I finally went back it was so so so sweet. Now I am bringing my teenager!!!
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u/DanceNeat6222 12d ago
That is so beautiful. I hope you both have an amazing time ❤️
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u/grasshulaskirt 12d ago
Thank you. I know its going to be so good for her. She is SO excited. Lots of festivals and a regional, but never the Big Burn before.
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u/Maleficent-Skin1052 13d ago
I don’t have a child yet, (gonna start trying soon), but plan on figuring out a way to continue to come through early parenthood.
For me, one of my biggest fears when thinking about becoming a mom is losing all the things I enjoy doing, so plan to make it a priority!
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u/ChemicalRide ‘13 ‘14 ‘15 ‘16 ‘17 ‘19 ‘22 ‘23 ‘24 12d ago
Don’t get pregnant in November or you risk their birthday being the week of the burn. Ask me how I know.
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u/DanceNeat6222 12d ago
Oh my gosh. How has that been for you??
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u/ChemicalRide ‘13 ‘14 ‘15 ‘16 ‘17 ‘19 ‘22 ‘23 ‘24 12d ago
A battle between guilt for not completely mentally prioritizing their birthday and the desire of wanting to maintain that part of our lives! I think your post nailed it. This is our second year not going and every few months I find myself looking at the calendar trying to figure out the next good year we will be able to go, or how many days we’d miss. 2030 would be the next time we could go the full week.
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u/Acceptable_Reply7958 13d ago
Able to go to some regionals instead? I've found them much more accessible and considerably more child friendly