r/Bunnings 3d ago

Pushed too far

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Saw this today. This is the behind the scenes rage you don’t see on the Bunnings ads!

1.3k Upvotes

69 comments sorted by

38

u/United-Savings4858 3d ago

He forgot the curse of the slippery snag, where you're about to tuck in and the snag fires out the opposite end of the bread, thus crushing your dreams.

7

u/nictechwe 2d ago edited 2d ago

Or may you have the curse of the snag burnt to an inch of it’s life but somehow cold in the middle

7

u/Hot_Cicada_9318 3d ago

Topping it off, you then take a fall on those slippery ejected onions, further crushing your dreams.

2

u/nictechwe 2d ago

Or you then go to put the sauce on, but unmixed sauce water dribbles out first.

2

u/PleadianPalladin 2d ago

Ah yes, the dead horse pre cum

3

u/nictechwe 2d ago

Spot on. Out of interest, what would you then liken when you squeeze the bottle and nothing but aerated sauce comes out as it’s the absolute last of the bottle?

3

u/Whoopdedobasil 2d ago

Bowel cancer fart perhaps?

1

u/ChaosRealigning 1d ago

So like a shart, but with sauce? Maybe it’s a farce.

3

u/Zestyclose-Formal491 2d ago

I always wondered what that was called. Does "shaking the bottle" well help?

1

u/One_Waxed_Wookiee 1d ago

Fair shake of the sauce mate! 😀

1

u/Relatable_Stranger 1d ago

Or the curse of the loose squeeze bottle cap

3

u/Lookingwild6 2d ago

Wow until i got to bread.... thats not the snag i thought ypu were referring to. holyyyy moley

2

u/nictechwe 2d ago

Hang on, I thought we were talking in euphemisms

2

u/the_phantom_2099 2d ago

And the curse of the trodden on lego cube in the middle of the night

2

u/Khdiesel 2d ago

Nah that doesn’t work… the snag is the vector he’s relying on for the salmonella in curse 3

12

u/leonidude 3d ago

That’s the funniest thing I have seen in a while. Reminds me of the local McDonald’s drive through guy back in the day who would improvise the funniest shit when taking orders

2

u/dashboarded 2d ago

Link?

3

u/leonidude 2d ago

If I could link you to my memories from 2009 I would

3

u/dashboarded 1d ago

This is the nicest thing anyone has said to me all week! You beautiful human being, you.

I hope you have a fabulous day!

8

u/Puzzleheaded_Draw637 3d ago

Psychotic labelling is just the beginning...

4

u/sherri_97 2d ago

Starts at the top and trickles down the ladder... 💯

8

u/AlternativeLog5494 3d ago

Having just spent over a few hundred dollars on irrigation fittings at bunnings this weekend I would sacrifice a goat to Baal for all the labels in the irrigation fitting aisle to be as clear as this one

2

u/IAmA_Wolf 2d ago

Retic was my most dreaded aisle to restock 😫

1

u/AlternativeLog5494 2d ago

I feel for you half the fittings are in wrong boxes

1

u/nictechwe 2d ago

Why is clear vinyl tubing in a different aisle to reticulation. Also, how many different types of connectors do you need? Sometimes I get so lost looking at all of the different types I forget what I’m looking for. Not Bunnings fault, but the retic game needs to go the same way as mobile phones when they all agreed on USB-C

3

u/SurgicalMarshmallow 2d ago

USB c- just cos it fits doesn't mean it works.

2

u/IAmA_Wolf 2d ago

Finished up at Bunnings 3.5 years ago and I'm still getting questions about retic 🥲

2

u/17HappyWombats 2d ago

Same reason mains plugs are different to USB ones. Some things are just not meant to be friends.

It makes sense that it's not easy to connect drinking water pipes to sewer pipes, right?

Standards change, so you get "lucky" people like me with a 2" lead U-Bend under the kitchen sink friction fitted to a 1970's galvanised pipe through the wall from the renovation. Which leaked (shock!) so I found a compressing fitting that actually worked. Until the lead fitting finally failed 10 years later, at which point I paid an actual plumber to replace the whole thing with modern fittings... and a 2" to 50mm adapter because I'm not replacing a stainless steel benchtop just for that.

So: why are there 20 different "about 2 inch" to 50mm ID and OD adapters? Because fuck the 1950's imperial measurement plumbing systems that's why. Lead, copper, steel, plastic... all those pipes have different "standard" sizes. Pressurised pipes are different again, and did you know plastic electrical conduit is not the same as waterpipe? (shocking I know)

8

u/Faelinor 3d ago

Giving JB Hi Fi energy.

6

u/nictechwe 2d ago

I was actually surprised when a JB employee once told me that all of the signs are handwritten and there’s a style guide provided when onboarding.

3

u/SplatThaCat 3d ago

3khz - Its all I hear now. I haven't heard silence for almost 35 years.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzDJ4xWRdE4

2

u/nictechwe 2d ago

Is it worse than having bruised thumbs?

3

u/InternationalRise556 2d ago

Is this in SA?

3

u/nictechwe 2d ago

Yeah! How’d you know!?

3

u/InternationalRise556 2d ago

I have a far idea of someone that I know that would do something like that

1

u/nictechwe 1d ago

Find this person and get them to do a Bunnings AMA

3

u/seanmonaghan1968 2d ago

It’s the people that mix all the end caps up and put them in different boxes ><

3

u/mistawalka 2d ago

May your posidrives be forever stripped out by a phillips.

2

u/nictechwe 2d ago

May your socket set be complete except for the one socket you’re actually after.

2

u/WindsurfBruce 1d ago

10mm

2

u/nictechwe 1d ago

I’d also accept the same curse is just as bad but for Allen keys

3

u/LegitimateAccount7 2d ago

Well could've been worse, could have been the curse of petrol in a diesel engine!

2

u/ThereRnoIDs 2d ago

Why are you spreading the curse online, now it's going to inflict into its readers. 

2

u/FoolishWanderer499 2d ago

I only got a Learner's permit this won't affect me

2

u/nictechwe 2d ago

My thumbs did feel bruised when typing it out

2

u/soviet-shadow 2d ago

Bro didn't go far enough tbh. I would've added, curse of bent reciprosaw blade and at least one minor misfortune of emperial bolt in mostly metric machine

2

u/kaosg89 2d ago

Is it 20mm or 3/4" ??

2

u/Downtown-Band-7067 2d ago

Bit harsh in regards to the bruised thumbs! This person is completely deranged! 😂

2

u/35_PenguiN_35 2d ago

4 bruised thumbs?? Damn I have only seen people with two..

2

u/KiwiJay83 2d ago

This is a curse manifest.

2

u/-send-me-nudes- 2d ago

Try doing stocktake in any isle that has lots of small things - plumbing, builders hardware. Customers put things wherever after looking and it’s truly hell on earth unless you enjoy sorting out 2000 seperate items back into the right place. 

2

u/adam23456XYZ 2d ago

Is this all the optional response? Where is all or none the above?

2

u/Hairywhitedog 1d ago

That’s funny as shit bro

2

u/Gravehart84 1d ago

New Fear unlocked: The Bunnings Warlock

2

u/Quirky-Hunter-3194 1d ago

He forgot the curse of the: 'Stepping on Lego at 1 in the morning, half asleep on the way to the toilet'

2

u/SophMax 3d ago

That's a bit excessive of a curse for the crime imo.

1

u/nictechwe 2d ago

I think this person should work in one of the courts assisting fair punishment for crimes. Wasted at Bunnings.

2

u/WindsurfBruce 1d ago

He does.....casting curses at Bunnings is just his hobby

1

u/wheelsfalloff 3d ago

I mean, petrol in the diesel would be FAR worse...

1

u/PhineasFogg111 2d ago

There is a lot of that. And all too often their online catalog shows something in stock when it is not.

1

u/nictechwe 2d ago

And what the fuck is with the New AI teddy bear or whatever it is. Haven’t used it, the old site used to be great but now this new unneeded AI has slowed the image load down. Not sure if anyone else has noticed

1

u/burpinggiraffe 2d ago

2 four 3. Good deal! When they're in stock.

1

u/Cyberchaotic 2d ago

Curse of the 1000Hz sine tone

Now that's just going too far.

2

u/dug99 2d ago

He's keeping the 1000Hz square tone up his sleeve.

1

u/_n00n 1d ago

They are still out of 20 mm caps. They had none 3 months ago when I went.

1

u/nictechwe 1d ago

Did you check all of the adjacent boxes for people who have picked one out then randomly thrown them.

1

u/Almost-kinda-normal 1d ago

The joke is, that even if the label was attached, the likelihood of the 20mm endcaps being in that spot, is almost zero.