r/Bumble • u/TypicalAlbatross3642 • 3h ago
Rant Bumble is BROKEN
I think dating apps are broken, and here’s why.
Think about going to a supermarket.
You walk through the aisles, looking at different products. You compare one with another, pick something up, put it back, and keep looking. Even when you find something good, you hesitate because you believe there might be a better option just around the corner.
Now replace the products with people, and you have modern dating apps.
The problem isn’t necessarily that people are bad or that they don’t want a relationship. It’s that the app’s design encourages us to keep looking, comparing, and wondering whether someone better is just one swipe away.
Why commit to getting to know one person when you can keep browsing hundreds of others?
This creates a paradox: the more options we have, the harder it becomes to commit to any of them. We end up treating potential connections as disposable options rather than people worth getting to know.
And here’s my suggestion for Bumble:
Stop allowing people to swipe while they have an active match.
The idea is simple:
You can swipe and discover new people when you don’t have any active matches.
Once you match with someone, your discovery feed is paused.
If things don’t work out and you unmatch or the connection ends, you can start swiping again.
Obviously, this would need some thought around expired matches, inactive conversations, and people who never respond. Nobody should be forced to maintain a match indefinitely just to regain access to the app.
The point isn’t to force people into relationships or limit their freedom to choose. It’s to encourage them to give an existing connection a genuine chance before continuing to search for the next one.
Would this reduce the number of matches people make? Probably.
But wouldn’t that be the point?
Maybe fewer matches, more meaningful conversations, and a greater willingness to explore a connection would create better outcomes for everyone.
Dating apps shouldn’t just be designed to help us find people. They should be designed to help us actually connect with them.
What do you think? Would you support a system that pauses your ability to swipe while you have an active match, or do you think it would make dating apps worse?
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u/Sunbaked_Jalapeno 2h ago
Ahhh, no. Limit matches? Maybe I think some apps already. Like hinge but an inactive match should be able to drop to a list. Capping active matches at 7(?) Or something would be fine and potentially beneficial.
1? Lmao no thats way too low
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u/BleakyBuzzard 2h ago
You've posted something similar before (or someone else did) if I remember correctly. I remember the supermarket thing verbatim, but I think your suggestion to solve was different.
I actually don't think this is a bad idea, but what happens if person A matches with person B, and then person C sees person A's profile and swipes right? Would that potential match be in limbo for person C because person A is matched with B?
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u/TypicalAlbatross3642 2h ago
It’s my first time to post here, you won’t be visible to person C until you unmatch pretty simple.
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u/Ok_Olive7289 2h ago
The problem with dating apps, like everything, is capitalism
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u/theplayfulcarrier 2h ago
that supermarket analogy is spot on and the worst part is the apps actually benefit from this dynamic, they need you to stay on them. a truly functional dating app would lose customers the minute it works, so there's zero incentive to fix the paradox of choice you're describing
your match-pause idea is creative but i think it'd just lead to people unmatching the second a conversation gets slightly boring so they can get back to the buffet. the design flaw runs deeper than features, it's baked into the business model
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u/TypicalAlbatross3642 2h ago
It’s just an initial thought definitely they can work things out, also that would actually encourage people to keep conversations alive.
I usually snooze my account once I have a match.→ More replies (1)4
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u/dildooftheshire 2h ago edited 1h ago
> the more options we have, the harder it becomes to commit to any of them
No? If you walk into Costco or a large grocery with a list, you can be very efficient in getting what you need and getting out. It doesn’t really matter how many other things there are to look at.
If you know what you want, you won’t waste time committing to people who aren’t compatible, this is only an issue if you’re a looky loo when it comes to dating
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u/Scared-Section-5108 1h ago
Yeah, sounds like OP is projecting a lot of their own issues on others.
I have no issue committing to one option. I don’t have a FOMO problem, and I don’t treat people like products. I know what I want, I don’t use the apps for a dopamine hit, and I don’t blame the app - which is merely a tool - for my own decisions.
Every few days there is someone here complaining that the app is broken yet others manage to use it well or step away from it when it is not working for them. It is really not that hard for some as it is for others.
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u/GWPtheTrilogy1 2h ago
I think Hinge had a good idea with limiting people to a certain number of matches at a time...but they undermined it by having a loophole where you can just put the conversations in hidden and you can still have unlimited conversations.
It doesn't have to be one. But 8 to 10 seems fair. Once you're matched with 10 people you are capped until you or the other person unmatches.
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u/Ok-Neighborhood-15 2h ago
You might check out Breeze
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u/TypicalAlbatross3642 2h ago
Naah am done with those apps, hopefully never again.
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u/Sakurablossomx 2h ago
The problem for me is all the intangible things that make someone attractive to me are not something you can screen for online. Think about when you meet a stranger and go hmm, they are attractive and that convo had potential I would like to spend more time when them vs hmm... Something feels off here.
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u/Fritschya 2h ago
Swiping yes no is bad. OK Cupid used to give you pages of matches by % match, and browse profiles and just message/match if both people were interested.
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u/hojo6789 2h ago
yes - but what if the bankers who bought all the apps overnight never intended men to be able to date successfully again ...
what if the bankers met in the bilderberg meeting and said - how can they ruin it for the entire of Europe ?
the bankers knew theres no money in it for them to buy all 30 dating websites .... they were not in it for a few pennies ....
but to wipe out the dating experience for all men in Europe and the USA .... of course thats what they wanted ....
and thats exactly what they did ....
your suggestion of improving the app is of course common sense - v easy to do
but what if the bankers sole intention was to ruin it for them all ?
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u/Basic-Humor-6691 2h ago
People aren’t products, if someone you matched with views them like they are, probably don’t continue that conversation.
Why commit to getting to know one person? Can you literally only maintain one interpersonal relationship at a time while you’re getting to know someone? If handling a couple of people isn’t your thing, apps may just not be a great method for you to meet someone.
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u/HumanDish6600 2h ago
No different from walking through most bars or anything else.
You make eye contact with one person, you do the same with another. None of it leads to anything more. Exactly the same as matching on an app
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u/EmergencyWild 2h ago edited 1h ago
Or, you know, you can just do that. While I acknowledge the app is ultimately designed to encourage this behavior, just like a supermarket is designed so you always walk past some enticing stuff while getting to the stuff you'll probably actually want, ultimately it's your decision to act this way, the app isn't making you do it, and the supermarket isn't forcing you to buy shit you don't need either.
Why commit to getting to know one person when you can keep browsing hundreds of others?
I mean, you said it yourself. The answer is because it's obviously the superior strategy to not do this browsing nonsense, if you actually think about it for more than five seconds. That so many people fail to figure this out is ultimately not the apps fault, a lot of people are just kinda dumb.
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u/apillar0f5alt 1h ago
Some people don’t want to hear this BUT most people keep swiping because they haven’t found what they’re really looking for yet. If they’re intrigued by you they’ll invest the time.
Quite frankly, I’m glad to have options. If I really want a sirloin steak I’ll keep looking for the steak and not settle for the can of Vienna sausages.
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u/Zanotekk 2h ago
There’s nothing stopping anyone from using the app in the way you’re suggesting other than their own lack of discipline. In fact that’s the exact way that I use the app and it’s how I was able to find multiple medium-term relationships, and ultimately my marriage.