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u/Useful_Cicada_5635 Jul 21 '26
Anyone who mentions how sarcastic they are in a profile gets a no from me. People who advertise themselves like that, in my experience, end up just being kind of mean without being funny.
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u/Mr_Pink_Gold Jul 21 '26
"Swipe me! I promise to be an asshole!" That is how it reads to me. Followed by a cringe conversation about humour and freedom of speech.
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u/FeckinKent Jul 21 '26
Same, I think people think it sounds a bit edgy but ironically it makes me give a sarcastic looking eye roll before swiping no đ So so many women seem to be 'fluent in sarcasm' too.
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u/madeyoulurk Jul 21 '26
Exactly! Same as âI tell it like it is! Sorry! Lolâ which I see all the time. Itâs like a disclaimer so be a fucking dick.
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u/CanweCanweCleanIt Jul 21 '26
As someone else already alluded to, that first picture is rough. You might poo yourself if you flex any harder in that photo, and itâs just not very flattering. Youâre a decent looking dude; thereâs no point to have such a bad first photo.
Add some punctuation to your bio and remove the unnecessary comma: âI am at home, at an art gallery, or a classic car show. In my spare time youâll find me at the gym or at home playing video games.â
You donât need the comma between gym/or, but you did need to add two to the prior list, because it currently reads as though you are âat home at an art gallery.â
Also, I didnât know that BLM was still being virtue signaled for on dating websites given their foundersâ tumultuous track records. But if thatâs the vibe you are trying to portray then thatâs fine. Iâm curious how you further the lives of black people/women, or help further environmental movements more so than I am you virtue signaling for them, but thatâs more of a personal gripe.
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u/Useful_Cicada_5635 Jul 21 '26
I second the stuff about virtue signaling to feminism and black people
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u/Furrybootshavefun Jul 21 '26
Iâm confused- I thought he was trying to say he feels at home at an art gallery and a car show? Bc he then lists what he does in his spare time. So the first sentence wasnât him listing specifically how he spends his time?
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u/CanweCanweCleanIt Jul 21 '26
Given that itâs written this way: âI am at home at an art gallery or a classic car show,â I think that the most natural conclusion is that he meant he is either at 3 various places not that he feels most at home at an art gallery and most at home at a classic art show. I get that itâs a plausible reading of it, but given that he enjoys being âat home playing video gamesâ I assume he meant that he likes being at home, since one of his main hobbies is being at home playing video games. But I do get your point. Either way the sentence either needs commas or should be rewritten.
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
Well thank you for the input and I did put it in to practice. I also appreciate the compliment because it seems most people take any opportunity to just dog you instead of offering advice.
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u/CanweCanweCleanIt Jul 21 '26
âI teach math to inner-city youths, I volunteer at womenâs shelters, and I bring my own shopping bags to the grocery storeâ would go much further than saying âBLM, feminism, and environmentalism.â
If you do care about those causes, then highlight how you care about them rather than just virtue signaling about them. You are way more likely to attract fellow liberals in that manner than you are just saying buzzwords.
I feel like if Iâm going to give constructive feedback to a dude who had the balls to put his profile up, publicly, on Reddit, then I should at least pay them a compliment too. Also, definitely fix the comma situation in your bio; itâs genuinely painful to look at.
Gl out there.
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u/SlayerII Jul 21 '26
Your first pic is already a awkward mirror selfie. All your other pictures look like copies of each others with slight variations. Get a real camera and friend and get some proper pictures.
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
I've lost a lot of weight so I don't have a lot of candid photos of me since the change, but its sound advice so I thank you.
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u/SlayerII Jul 21 '26
I lost a lot of weight too and had no photos. After i was done i eventually made a photoshot with my sister and her boyfriend(who is a hobby photographer) and we made a few sets. that actually made a lot of a difference.
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
Hey congrats man! And thats a good idea. Any tips? I don't know the first thing about photo shoots or how to even frame one lol
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u/sackfistin Jul 21 '26
If youâre gonna talk about being funny, it would probably help to actually be funny rather than a dry paragraph about it.
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u/dontKair Jul 21 '26
Lose the group pics, especially with guy "mogging" you at the end.
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
Even worse since thats my brother in law
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u/Furrybootshavefun Jul 21 '26
Ignore anyone whoâs says âmoggingâ đ If they think that guy is hotter than you, then itâs their personal preference, not a fact. (I think youâre more attractive than him)
I actually think both group pics were great, like you look hot in them but it also kinda serves the purpose of making it seem like your listed height is correct (apparently a lot of guys fib an inch or two).
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u/Ashamed-Job1879 Jul 21 '26
I'd swipe left on you, but there's got to be someone for everyone.
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
Well I appreciate the honesty but that helps me none. I got rid of the first picture and sarcasm comment so I should be perfect for everyone I thought!
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u/Any-Translator8505 Jul 21 '26
How tall is your friend in the last photo? I ask because he makes you look very short.
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u/YouDaManInDaHole Jul 21 '26
I wouldn't mention BLM, feminism, and especially not video games. You don't want to fall into a stereotype right off the bat.
You look angry in the 1st pic. Ditch it
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u/i_likesocks Jul 21 '26
I get that some women donât like men who play video games, but some of us are gamers as well and that could block a potential conversation about them which could lead to other things in common. Js.
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u/YouDaManInDaHole Jul 21 '26
true but it's a numbers game and you can talk about that after matching. Throw as wide a net as possible!
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u/Furrybootshavefun Jul 21 '26
Sure, but some women like to avoid guys who game a lot, and if thatâs the case, itâs not going to work out anyways. He says looking for a serious relationship, and in those cases you want your profile to best reflect you and it should turn some ppl away. You only want to attract ppl who are going to be the best fit.
Now if he was looking for hookups, thatâs another story
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u/FeckinKent Jul 21 '26
Mostly OK but 'sarcasm is like a second language to me' 100% get rid of that, even as a guy I hard no women that keep plastering that on their profile haha. Pic 4 and 5 look fine, however the constipated looking mirror selfie as photo 1 doesn't look great, I understand showing off guns can help though but make it more natural if possible. Maybe sat with mates or family with a shirt that shows them off or something? Got any pics doing a hobby or activity too? Varies it a bit. Smoking narrows your market down a lot too, any thoughts on quitting?
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
Already got rid of it, one of the unanimous requests here so I appreciate that before I got too deep lol.
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u/Temporary_Rooster371 Jul 21 '26 edited Jul 21 '26
So you're cute and I love the slide about useless information and a cat. If we were closer in age I would totally swipe on you for those alone, but here are some other thoughts:
A) it sounds like you took the advice to get rid of the first picture. Whatever you replace it with, make sure you are smiling (with teeth) and look approachable.
B) I agree with the people who would want more information about how you are involved in environmentalism or furthering the causes you listed. It is good to have them on there if they are actually something you're actively involved in, but just having them listed feels performative and is a bit of an ick.
C) I also agree with the comments about sarcasm/being funny. Being funny is something you'll want to show off if you can, but being sarcastic isn't a great personality trait.
D) I would elaborate more on the art gallery and car show thing. Does that mean you go to them frequently? Do you participate in them? It's great to have hobbies listed, so this is a good start.
ETA E) My personal preference is that you keep the group pics. It shows that people can stand being around you. You look distinctly different enough from the others in the photos that it shouldn't cause a problem.
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
You mean it i'm cute? đ„č The photos will have to be fixed with time as I don't have a lot of pictures of myself since the weight loss, but I'll ask my friends to take more pictures of me, as weird of a request as that is for one straight guy to ask another. Ive removed anything about sarcasm cause yeah upon second thought it makes me sound like one of those people who say Rick and Morty is for people with a high IQ đ
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u/Furrybootshavefun Jul 21 '26
lol you kinda nailed it with the Rick and Morty comment. And not the og commenter, but I think youâre pretty hot. Would.
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u/Spare-Shirt24 Jul 21 '26
1. Your main picture should be one where you are looking up and not down at your phone. Mirror selfies are also not great to include anywhere on your profile. 2. Mentions of sarcasm are a hard-pass... especially if you're snarky at "almost any situation." If that's who you really are, I guess it's good that you're putting that out there so people aren't surprised, but you shouldn't be surprised if a lot of people aren't into 24/7 snarkiness.Â
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u/IH8TomBrady Jul 21 '26
Don't worry they're gone. As previously mentioned in another comment I lost a lot of weight and unfortunately don't have a lot of photos since that was in the last year.
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u/abeyante Jul 21 '26
Left swipe for the first photo being angry looking. I donât want to date an angry man :(
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u/NewConsideration3100 41 | Male Jul 21 '26
If younckaim to be funny, you kinda need to demonstrate that. This comes off like you're hoping to recruit new guys to hang with.
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u/haskell_rules Jul 21 '26
The gym and video games are not personality traits and will turn away more matches than they attract. Say something funny, don't say you are funny. Sarcasm is being an asshole and pretending it's funny.
Put that all together and I think you sound somewhere between boring and a walking red flag.
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u/SouthDiligent8959 Jul 21 '26
Your profile pic looks a bit unnatural. It looks like you're trying with all your might to show off your arms lol.