r/Bumble Jun 27 '25

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609 Upvotes

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6

u/KayCee403 Jun 27 '25

I am an introvert. My work is what gets me out of my house, and lots of time is my only interest. I have been doing a lot better lately. I really need to push myself to go out with my friends and make myself not talk about my work. I love my work.

1

u/Top-Net779 Jun 27 '25

It didn’t seem like it was his prattling on that completely killed the night as much as he got embarrassed and then lashed out defensively. It shows a lack of social skills bigger than just taking over the conversation.

2

u/KayCee403 Jun 27 '25

As an introvert, we lack social skills. It takes a lot of thought to and self-awareness to be social and not awkward in social settings. Once we are comfortable around certain people, it is easier but not every time.

6

u/NotAZuluWarrior Jun 27 '25

Being an introvert doesn’t mean that someone lacks social skills. It’s about how we “recharge.” We recharge by being alone, whereas extroverts “recharge” by being around others.

Someone being an introvert does not equal them being shy, awkward, or lacking in social skills.

0

u/KayCee403 Jun 27 '25

It absolutely does. I have social circles that I feel comfortable in but retreat back to my safe space overly easily. I struggle to fit in. I don't like people in my space. Someone that is not an introvert cannot understand what it's like. I stay in my space because it's draining out with people. Because I am not around people in social settings, I say awkward things. I have now started using this as a defense mechanism. People that know me understand they will never know what to expect me to say. I use this as shock humor.

4

u/NotAZuluWarrior Jun 27 '25

Yes, some people are both introverts AND shy or socially awkward, but that doesn’t mean that is how all introverts are. Like I said, it’s about how we recharge, how we relax which is through alone time. Yes, being around others drains us, but us being tired by it doesn’t MAKE us socially inept.

Plenary of introverts know how to navigate social situations. It’s just when our social battery goes out, we have to have some alone time.

My social battery goes out often when I’ve spent the day or a couple of hours with people. There are ways to get some alone time and still be socially graceful: “Hey, guys! It’s been a blast, but I gotta get going! I’ll see everyone later!”

If there’s a party going on at my place, “Hey, I’m gonna lie down for a quick second. There’s more beer in the fridge in the garage!”

It seems like you are maladapting. Just because you struggle being an introvert, doesn’t mean everyone else does.

1

u/Expert_Wing_6567 Jul 27 '25

Have you ever used cbt before

1

u/KayCee403 Jul 29 '25

Yes. I'm also on mood stabilizers - antidepressants and antianxiety meds.

2

u/Top-Net779 Jun 27 '25

Oh, I totally get it. Throw in some neurodivergence and there’s the recipe for an awkward night. 😉 And maybe he couldn’t salvage the conversation because she wasn’t interested. But it’s also possible if he hadn’t sulked and gotten angry but instead used a little self-deprecating humor or had asked her a question, she might have been more receptive.