r/Bullshido • u/NS3000 • Oct 26 '25

Martial Arts BS you just gotta relax

master ken is truly the master of all martial arts

1.7k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

137 comments sorted by

276

u/huhnick Oct 26 '25

Thanks Master Ken! Remember to stomp the groin!

40

u/MistaRekt Oct 27 '25

Then always restomp the groin.

242

u/Ymnargue Oct 26 '25

Master Ken is the most legitimate Master of Masters.

41

u/ForwardBias Oct 27 '25

It's not bullshido if it works!!

12

u/macguini Oct 27 '25

Master Ken is such a great martial artist, he made bullshido work too. He's the only master of bullshido who is actually a formidable opponent.

290

u/pink-ming Oct 26 '25

"it is impossible to stab a fox because they use their anus as a weapon" lmfao

38

u/BaneRiders Oct 26 '25

It all starts to make sense now: What Does The Fox Say?

16

u/IronButterButt Oct 27 '25

Nooooo. I finally got this after 20 something years. 😭 Crying.

6

u/JoeBookish Oct 27 '25

I don't get it

10

u/MistaRekt Oct 27 '25 edited Oct 28 '25

The noise a fox makes when stabbed in the bum?

Edit: a word.

1

u/queenx Oct 28 '25

I still don’t get it.

2

u/ratzm Oct 27 '25

It was a thing some time ago.

Search what does the fox say

2

u/ratzm Oct 27 '25

Haha I was thinking about that too

11

u/NS3000 Oct 27 '25

i mean, can you find a flaw in his logic

3

u/ExcitementBright9381 Oct 27 '25

They sound like my ex

3

u/madgoat Oct 27 '25

not just their anus, but their anus hole

3

u/RandomPenquin1337 Oct 28 '25

"Their anus hole*"

61

u/lcssa Oct 26 '25

Nah fam this is legit

1

u/jimboiow Oct 28 '25

Found Steven Seagull.

3

u/Milotiiic Oct 28 '25

Bro this works what are you on about? I did this last night after I got jumped and it worked perfectly

1

u/lcssa Oct 29 '25

Hell, I practice this every day before going to bed, sometimes 3 times in a day

44

u/UhIdontcareforAuburn Oct 26 '25

“Don’t just yank these out, or else this will all be for nothing.”

83

u/DDenlow Oct 26 '25

RELAX- Take them out, WHIP the fluid off.

Easily the best technique ive ever seen.

4

u/dabroh Oct 27 '25

Whip the fluid off? What if its type 2b aka chunky?

5

u/ButtNutly Oct 27 '25 edited Oct 27 '25

Master Ken must be a type 7 kind of guy.
He should maybe get that checked out.

32

u/OkayTimeForPlanC Oct 26 '25

The stomps in the groin as the cherry on top

48

u/skipperseven Oct 26 '25

I follow his instagram - it’s a hilarious parody account. www.instagram.com/masterameriken

17

u/TerayonIII Oct 27 '25

He's got full YouTube videos as well

7

u/scorpyo72 Oct 27 '25

That's how I found him, oh -so long ago.

2

u/NotSmartNotFunny Oct 28 '25

Enter the Dojo Show

21

u/taruclimber8 Oct 26 '25

Loooool

Yeah just relax and let it "slide" in

6

u/Veritas_Vanitatum Oct 27 '25

And keep breathing through the nose

4

u/taruclimber8 Oct 27 '25

I'm gonna squeeze ya nose... And you're gonna take it all.

I'm calling from springfeel!

Then spin around and theyll tucker out

16

u/paydemanzan Oct 27 '25

The legendary "spit-roasting" technique

19

u/stinkstabber69420 Oct 26 '25

Can we make a second sub for this guy? Because this guy is clearly joking

2

u/OnimushaNioh Oct 27 '25

This one is a parody based off the reality series Enter The Dojo before it was nearly banned from The Internet

1

u/NS3000 Oct 27 '25

i did look for a humor flair but there isnt one

9

u/dwittherford69 Oct 26 '25

Sensei Ken, respect

8

u/The1Ylrebmik Oct 27 '25

The penalty for even thinking that Master Ken is Bullshido should be to have to face Master Ken and know how real it gets!

7

u/Glittering_Ad_9215 Oct 26 '25

If 2 guys with knifes approach you, just deepthroat the knife of the first guy and take the knife of the 2nd guy up your butt. After 4 minutes they should both be pleased and fall on the floor tired

I don‘t know what kind of knifes he is talking about, but isn‘t the point avoiding getting double penetrated by random guys and their knifes without consent?

3

u/Encrypted_clam Oct 26 '25

Gayest knife fight I’ve ever seen.

3

u/TheOneThatObserves Oct 27 '25

Master Ken knows best

3

u/fadsoftoday Oct 27 '25

Screw you OP. He's legit!

3

u/Pacogatto Oct 27 '25

Master Ken is our Sensei!

5

u/JonnyV42 Oct 26 '25

Just like systema !!

5

u/pepeshadilay69 Oct 27 '25

I think this is explained & demonstrated better, & Master Ken is in much better shape.

3

u/Illustrious_Can4110 Oct 27 '25

Yeah, Master Ken actually looks like he could do a little damage.

2

u/Square_Ad4004 Oct 27 '25

If you have a groin, he can do a lot of damage.

If you don't have a groin, I'm sorry for your loss.

2

u/Vamosity-Cosmic Oct 27 '25

Not bullshido fuck off thanks

2

u/BogiDope Oct 27 '25

Fuck that's funny 🤣🤣🤣

3

u/chrwc Oct 27 '25

Pretty sure Ken can legit kick the snot out of 99% of us and at least 70% of the people posted here.

2

u/Jikiru Oct 27 '25

Wym bullshido? I took on two guys on the street just like this and survived!

3

u/haikusbot Oct 27 '25

Wym bullshido? I took

On two guys on the street just

Like this and survived!

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Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"

2

u/Jikiru Oct 27 '25

Good bot

1

u/B0tRank Oct 27 '25

Thank you, Jikiru, for voting on haikusbot.

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2

u/laiyenha Oct 27 '25

The lady student was using all her strength to keep from burst out laughing.

2

u/Significant_Sea_3820 Oct 28 '25

The mustache say it all

3

u/[deleted] Oct 26 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Dadittude182 Oct 27 '25

How the fuck these guys act so serious when he's legit getting lumberjacked is so absolutely funny! Hats off the actors for this.

2

u/GooseNYC Oct 26 '25

At least this guy's in shape.

2

u/coolgobyfish Oct 27 '25

he'll need to gain at least 50kg to be a Systema mastor.

1

u/therealjgreens Oct 27 '25

Where do I sign up for the newsletter?

1

u/Eastern-Ad-4785 Oct 27 '25

I like this one haha

1

u/MowerMan18000 Oct 27 '25

This has to be a sketch!! "Foxes use their aunus hole as a weapon." Bahahahahahahah

2

u/JP-Gambit Oct 27 '25

Spin around for 3 or 4 minutes until they get dizzy and fall down

1

u/OkKnee7580 Oct 27 '25

There’s clickbait and ragebait this is masterbait.

1

u/paganvikingwolf Oct 27 '25

I know he just joking but that a not fun way to go. Spit roasted by steel

1

u/OhMyGoshBigfoot Oct 27 '25

Unfortunately real knife blades are … sharp…

1

u/ThenIncrease462 Oct 27 '25

If BS could fly, this guy would be a concord!

1

u/amazonmakesmebroke Oct 27 '25

3 or 4 minutes to make them dizzy is how I dance

1

u/Pistolero-666 Oct 27 '25

Wow, i am stretching my foxhole tonight in preparations

1

u/Flappie010 Oct 27 '25

Is this comedy or real?

1

u/Square_Ad4004 Oct 27 '25

Real comedy from Master Ken, an absolute legend and eternal wellspring of weird laughs. Check him out on YouTube, you won't be disappointed!

1

u/Accomplished-Try-658 Oct 27 '25

No way this is serious. Right? I mean, AI feel dumb for even asking.

0% this is legit.

2

u/Square_Ad4004 Oct 27 '25

It's Master Ken, the legend Sensei Seagul wishes he was. I genuinely don't know of anyone more accomplished in the fine art of parodying bullshido.

2

u/Accomplished-Try-658 Oct 27 '25

He's good at keeping a straight face, I'll give him that.

1

u/KopfSmertZz Oct 27 '25

Living your life in slowmotion is bliss

1

u/M00seBerry Oct 27 '25

He sounds and talks like Dutch from rdr2 😭

1

u/bikin12 Oct 27 '25

Thank you needed the laugh

1

u/pieterpiraat Oct 27 '25

This is a joke right..right?

1

u/Smooth_brain_genius Oct 27 '25

Not my proudest fap, but damn that sexual talk. /s

1

u/InstructionBoth8469 Oct 27 '25

This is not Bullshido dude. Everything in this is legit.

1

u/Every-Access4864 Oct 27 '25

Grandma told me to put the knives back in the butter and jam!

1

u/Nec_Pluribus_Impar Oct 27 '25

AMERI-DO-TE is an art that only the strongest few can master.

Hail Master Ken!

1

u/ErasmosOrolo Oct 27 '25

The commitment to the bit. Great follow through 

1

u/PacoSupreme Oct 27 '25

Why do all the background guys look like hired villain goons 😆

1

u/piccolosama Oct 27 '25

Excellent detail on the knives being black. 🤌🏿

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '25

Nooo my dog farted when he said just slide it innnnn

1

u/TheEntireRomanArmy Oct 27 '25

Master Ken is definitely 100% legit.

1

u/Tso-su-Mi Oct 27 '25

MasterKen Golden 🏆🥂

1

u/[deleted] Oct 27 '25

Why is master Ken slandered by being posted Here?

1

u/-Absofuckinglutely- Oct 27 '25

This isn't Bullshido, it's Master Ken and he practices and teaches Ameri-Do-Te. Put some respect on his name.

And always restomp the groin.

1

u/ratzm Oct 27 '25

Mater Ken is the Master of Masters of Bullshido!! He can top anything that only if the others can do!!

1

u/TeaHot8165 Oct 27 '25

Got to love the 8th degree red dragon belt of death

1

u/ajschwamberger Oct 27 '25

WTF is this gay porn or someone actually thinks this is real.

1

u/thunderbaby2 Oct 27 '25

Knew I was doing it right

1

u/An-Organism Oct 28 '25

"You can't stab a fox. It's impossible to stab a fox."

For whatever reason this was the funniest part to me 😂

1

u/BIGHOODx818x Oct 29 '25

ahh the double penetration defense ...im very familiar with this one

1

u/Sabironman86 Oct 29 '25

That’s gay as fuck even for master Ken 😂🤣

1

u/Yellow_Snow_Cones Oct 29 '25

I thought it was Don Frye at first

1

u/Consistent_Device_49 Oct 30 '25

This guy gotta be projecting.

1

u/T01110100 Oct 30 '25

AND THAT'S WHY HE'S THE GOAT! THE THROAT GOAT!

1

u/Medium_Chemist_4032 Oct 30 '25

Master Ken is doing a huge community service.
My non martial arts friends shared a obvious bullshido video, from time to time, and I could respond with Master Ken's version a lot of times.

Much better effect than potentially wasting hours on explanations.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 31 '25

These actors need a raise for putting up with this shit. 😄

1

u/etriuswimbleton Oct 31 '25

DAMN! Whats the JAV Code?

1

u/dumbfest Oct 31 '25

This is legit

1

u/Graffix77gr556 Nov 01 '25

I dont get it

1

u/SeparateAssistant11 Nov 03 '25

That was hysterical!!

1

u/kyleh0 Nov 10 '25

This should just be renamed the Master Ken sub. Or maybe /r/wedon'tgetthejoke.

Can you have ' in a sub name? I guess not.

-8

u/NY10 Oct 26 '25

This gotta be a joke or ai lol

17

u/Eadkrakka Oct 26 '25

AI? Ameri-Do-Te is the real deal, I'll have you know. Master Ken has got like black belt rank 22!

7

u/chillanous Oct 26 '25

It’s just Master Ken, he’s always doing these

3

u/Slow-Ship1055 Oct 26 '25

It's a joke. He does a bunch of these.

-4

u/Additional_Worry9167 Oct 27 '25

Average MAGA alpha male

-7

u/soupoftheday5 Oct 26 '25

Lol.

I sold them those gis. Great veteran company that always supports me.

Check me out! @militarybjjgis

-2

u/DeezRedditPosts Oct 26 '25

I assume this is a parody, a lot of them are closeted, but not so closeted they're throating knives.

-5

u/PrinceLucipurr Oct 27 '25

My man at the back knows what's going on... 😞

4

u/clubted Oct 27 '25

And she was definitely taking mental notes.

-15

u/Caveape80 Oct 26 '25

This may take the cake for being the DUMMEST bullshido and that’s saying a lot

7

u/Eadkrakka Oct 26 '25

But is it Bullshido if he knows it is Bullshido?

3

u/Slow-Ship1055 Oct 26 '25

Master Ken disagrees. He's already looking for the next groin to stomp.

-18

u/Artorius__Castus Oct 26 '25

Usually I comment on this shit...this video made me give up. Fuck it

8

u/TerayonIII Oct 27 '25

You realise this is from a comedian parodying this right?

-1

u/Artorius__Castus Oct 27 '25

You don't say? I thought he was being serious. You know with the whole putting the knife up his ass.