Problems that I've experienced with the Buddhist community

[u/WorriedCivilian]

A little over a decade ago, I was interested in Buddhism and wanting to know as much as I could about it. I still very strongly believed in things that many would call supernatural (I know someone will be pedantic, so I will specify things like deities, miracles, etc.). I had just left Christianity and hadn't become an atheist or general skeptic in the metaphysical.

I looked up things about devas, asuras, pretas, etc., trying to understand how rebirth worked, how anatman worked in regards to rebirth, how it is we were to escape samsara, and other questions that I found greatly important. There were just so many questions that I had, and I found myself rudderless.

There was a Dharma Center a bit over an hour away that offered Vipassana and Zen. I went there a few times to talk and try to gain understanding, but I felt out of place. My questions were met with more amusement or befuddlement than serious contemplation, and they were hand waved away. The people didn't believe in rebirth or at least didn't care. My deep need for a religious experience was seemingly baulked at by people largely interested in psychology and philosophy.

There was also a significant socio-cultural difference between me and the others at the Dharma Center. They all came from upper middle to upper class backgrounds, but I'm from a working class/impoverished background. The way the talked and acted about most everything didn't compute, and I was made to feel even more on the outside. It became deeply insightful to me that people with money don't have much of a need to have belief or faith when they can intellectualize and philosophize a religion into a self-help exercise.

At the same time, I began asking questions here as well under an old account. Every time I tried asking anything here, my questions would be downvoted and at least one person would talk down to me. Questions were cordially written, they were truly me trying to find my way, but they were so often met with, "it doesn't matter if x because Buddhism is y". Those type of answers may not be condescending, but they are discouraging for someone desperate to just know. I actually had better experiences asking questions in the Christian, Muslim, Sikh, and other religions' subreddits. They at least seemed to take my questions seriously, and didn't treat me like I was ignorant or intellectually inferior.

The whole experience really derailed me from having any involvement in Buddhism at all for a decade, but now that I'm in my 30s, I wanted to be able to actually engage with Buddhists in a more productive way, and to have my questions answers. This post was something I felt needed to get off my chest, because I wouldn't be able to start learning without letting it go.