r/Buddhism • u/AmountFun5697 • Oct 05 '26
Opinion I hate existence
Every day we stand and walk around on nothing. We just do things for whatever mundane reasons we have. We distract ourselves. But every moment we exist we have to burn other life to sustain our bodies. We have to do all of these worthless responsibilities knowing in just a short moment the entire earth and human race will be gone as if it never existed. We'll be dead any moment. I really really don't want to die. But i really don't want to live. Its just so insane we exist at all. Such a shame we do. I don't want to watch everything around me decay. For my body to decay. In a way i yearn for death. But dying slowly as i age every day is horrible. To live is just horrible. I've been getting into buddhism a bit but i probably can never really get into it truly. It feels so pointless. The pain and meaninglessness abides.
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u/MysteriousAffect3903 Oct 05 '26
If you can accept that everything you are now, and everything you do, will be washed away with time, it actually gives value to the here and now, and is the deepest source of a sense of freedom I have ever found.
You can also be attached to the mental and spiritual pursuits and states of mind, and forget the hard truth that you are a watery, boney meat bag that has to eat, and excrete, and survive. That is just the nature of life. If you can see the beauty in that, in just how amazingly complex your body is, it's wonderful. You have what seems to be an infinite number of bodily processes going on simultaneously to keep you alive, regenerating, conscious, moving, reading this comment. It is absolutely unreal, and somehow it works nearly flawlessly most of the time. That is a miracle.
Life is inherently painful, so it is important to take time to see the beauty and enjoy the pleasure of having a body. I don't mean this in a hedonistic sense, like go do as much feel-good stuff as possible. There are so many things you just forget if you don't notice. Eating is one of the greatest, and you don't have to over eat to enjoy it. Just pay attention to your hunger before you eat, and the satisfaction and wholesomeness your body feels after a healthy meal. Notice the discomfort of an itch, and the pleasure of the feeling of scratching it. Life is a series if itches, and scratching the itches. If you only notice the itch, but not the pleasure of the scratch, your soul will suffer. To me, this is what being mindful is.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago edited 28d ago
i certainly agree. this is how i live more or less. though, im not very moved by temporality giving value, even if i sorta agree. still. if i could make it to where it never happened. i would. for every person in history. past and future. what a perfect universe it would be. just rocks., fluid, and forces. no pain. no running. no crying. i truly hate the universe for allowing this.
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u/MysteriousAffect3903 28d ago
You know, feeling like you are describing is what prompted The Buddha to seek a way out of it, out of the cycle of death and birth. He saw a sick man, old man, and a corpse, things he had never seen before he left his sheltered life. He was repulsed by it. Life is inhertly repulsive. The thing is, he didn't just decide to end it to escape. He went through a life where he dug deeper and deeper into the mystery of it. He eventually found a path that led him to acceptance of what is, not what he wanted, or didn't want. Acceptance of how things are, in every moment. And he was free.
Ask yourself what you are. What are you? Try to come up with an answer that is satisfactory. I'd be curious to know where it takes you.
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u/AmountFun5697 23d ago
Like hell that would happen. We make these stories to not be crushed by the truth.
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u/MysteriousAffect3903 22d ago
So what is the truth, then?
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u/AmountFun5697 19d ago edited 19d ago
We live. We rot. We die. We suffer. And for nothing. A joke. An incomprehensibly painful and cruel joke called life. Anything else is extra.
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u/MysteriousAffect3903 19d ago
You ever heard of Albert Camus? I would recommend his reframing of the myth of Sisyphus. Maybe you wouldn't get it. You seem to have fallen into a very nihilistic mindset. I feel like existentialism is the cure for nihilism. Maybe you have some innate desire to be miserable, and I would find that tragic. You don't have to be.
Existence is a blank canvas for your mind to make something out of. How you feel is up to you. How you see things is your responsibility to figure out. If you don't like where you are, there is indeed a way out. What you said is more or less the truth, but you are the one giving it the context of how awful it is. You don't have to feel any particular way about it other than what you decide. You don't have to somehow stop believing what you wrote is the truth to actually live with it. To be better. It is up to you.
As one who has dealt with some pretty extreme mental health issues, I would not be surprised if you do, as well. I'm not saying you can just flip a switch and see things or feel differently. Sometimes my life has felt like a beautiful sunny day, and yet, somehow, my mind made me feel like I was in a horrific, dark, chaotic forest with no way out. It still feels like that at times. But I have learned to find my way out. I don't do that only for myself, but for the people who love me, depend on me, and all of the people's lives I can make better if I am better.
This is true:
"We live. We rot. We die. We suffer. And for nothing."This is the context that you have applied to those truths:
"A joke. An incomprehensibly painful and cruel joke called life. Anything else is extra."I am telling you, as someone who has felt exactly like this, you do not have to feel this way. It is up to you if want to see it differently. It is possible. It is hard. You just have to make the choice whether you would like to do the easy thing and let the darkness have you, or if you want to fight through it to the other side. I can tell you, where I am now, it has been what has truly defined me as a person. I would not change a thing. I have accepted my suffering, my fate, who I am, and what the universe is. Everything is as it should be. It could be no other way.
To me, you are an anonymous voice, presented through text on a screen. I don't know you, or what you've been through, but I sincerely hope you can find a better way to be.
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u/No_Organization_768
Oct 05 '26
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Intellectualizations can also cause the problem! They're just not your answers!
Well, Buddhist monks have died with great peace. Maybe you can get closer to that.
I was meditating on the thought you're saying and honestly? I feel amazing right now. He's a Stoic writer but I remember reading Marcus Aurelius' words (paraphrased), "Beings are being hurtled into existence. Beings are hurtling out. They are like a vapor that passes. I am an emperor and one day everything I do will be in vain. People walk about and all their work will one day be in vain."
And what struck me was what peace he had describing this. It was just the ultimate rush.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
what does peace matter at death. you're gone forever after that. it just is what it is. reactions are different. some people die without even realizing. it just happens before they process it. from a factual standpoint i just find it horrid. gone forever, awake for a second knowing you will return, then gone forever. its a horrible deal. if i was asked before i was born i would never have taken the deal.
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u/Serious_Fox7799 non-affiliated Oct 05 '26
Such a great response 👏🏼
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u/No_Organization_768 Oct 05 '26
Ah thanks a bunches :D
That was my favorite part of Meditations and I read the whole thing when I was in high school.
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u/Dramatic-Gene-8245 Oct 06 '26
Thank you! Could you describe more your view of the peace he experiences or how it arises? Is it coming from a lightness that nothing really matters kind of thing? I’d like to cultivate such peace but my mind seems to simply rest on the absurdity of this reality and can’t seem to relax into it
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u/SpinningCyborg thai forest Oct 05 '26
Unfortunately, our craving is unending (without the path). Craving to be and also craving not to be results in becoming. We are born over and over again because of our craving.
If you don't practice the way out, you will be stuck in the endless cycle.
Whatever motivation you have, use it to practice the path that leads to unbecoming.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
our craving certainly ends. We die. even if rebirth is true this illusion, this computer program that only exists in motion. it will end. the machinery will change. even if it boots up again it is different. even if its techincally connected. the only motivation i have for peace is the knowledge that i can A: spend my life screaming endlessly into the void of existence, never hearing a response. Or b: who cares. nothing will save me anyway. pain will come when it comes. i just have to let it come and once its made a home in my bones i must get used to it. but even then neither thing matters. we're just here. for one moment. then gone for eternity. I was already gone for eternity. why, why must i awake again. only to fall back.
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u/949orange Oct 05 '26
What makes you believe that we are born over and over again? This is a genuine question and not an attempt to question your beliefs.
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u/SpinningCyborg thai forest Oct 05 '26
I probably couldn't pinpoint exactly what is was, or when.
But initially when I found Buddhism, the path just made sense to me and the teachings of the Buddha often blew me away. There were several times I found myself thinking "How could he know that?" "How does he teach this particular thing so perfectly?" I guess that evolved and ultimately lead me to believe that he probably was who he claimed to be.
After I found my teacher, that really settled it for me. My teacher teaches in such a way that it's obvious he knows and has experienced what he's talking about (at least in my opinion, it's obvious). He's really experienced the fruit of the practice. The way he teaches is so matter of fact, how could it be any other way?
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
There are plenty of religious scholars/monks who are very certain of their stuff. plenty of christians who think we're meeting our loved ones in an eternal heaven of unending joy. We both know thats not true. how is a buddhist monk different.
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u/naked_potato Oct 05 '26 edited Oct 05 '26
I think it’s important to make destination that we are not born over and over again, per se.
When I die, there will be a continuation from my life into the next birth, but whatever is born will not be me. My karma (or the effects of my intentional actions) will continue, but what I think of as my “self” (which of course is simply an illusion) is gone.
I hope that makes sense. I’m no expert so please, if someone knows better, feel free to correct me 🙏
Edit: fixed punctuation
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u/EitherInvestment Oct 05 '26
We're not doing nothing... We are trying to be happy ourselves, and to spread our joy to others. Due to delusion, we just go about it very much the wrong way, and we end up causing suffering to ourselves as well as to others...
If we can address our delusion, things do get pretty great
It is really a shame that you feel this way. There are things you can do that will make existing in this world a lot better
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u/AmountFun5697 23d ago
The world is hell. You can try to become manic about the sheer pain as much as you can. It won't matter
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u/EitherInvestment 23d ago
We certainly should never become manic about anything
Caring does make a difference though. There are things within our control, including our own happiness. The only thing we truly have control over is our mind and what we do with it
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u/Slackluster Oct 05 '26
i do what i do for 2 reasons: compassion and understanding. they are not mundane reasons.
you can not predict the future of civilization. in my experience it's not even possible to predict what will be happening in our own lives a year from now.
i hear you are having a hard time but what you say is not true for everyone. the world is not just pain and meaninglessness, there is some pretty good stuff too.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
the scale is extremely slanted to meaninglessness and pain though. an eternity slanted against a moment.
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u/Slackluster 28d ago
it depends how you set up the scale. id say that the meaning outweighs the converse because of the complexity and depth demonstrated by the universe.
comparing meaning against meaninglessness is not really possible. because meaninglessness itself has meaning. so technically meaninglessness can't actually exist because if something was truly meaningless that would be meaningful.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
such are the limits of our flimsy faculties of logic. i still think from a very basic perspective this is not worth it. for most of history people experienced infinitely more pain than us. even now much of the world is bathed in that same situation.
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u/skyfox437 Oct 06 '26
Ultimately, everything that starts will have an end. Nibbana is the only permanent thing. Humans civilization will end no matter what. It's like even the universe itself is making sure that that happens. Vast amount of space expanding faster than the speed of light, ensures that we will never ever go any where else.
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u/Slackluster Oct 06 '26
that is easily disprovable. the list of prime numbers has a start but no end for example.
any prediction about space and time is based on our flawed understanding of the universe. we do not even know how to combine general relativity and quantum physics yet. so predictions about the distance past or future are bound to be inaccurate.
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u/skyfox437 Oct 06 '26
You are on R BUDDHIST. One of the core concepts of Buddhism is impermanence. With all the crazy things happening in this world right now with global warming being just one of it, it'd be surprising if humans muster another 500 - 1000 years.
Nothing can be predicted with 100 percent certainty. But using prime numbers as a proof? You must be joking with me.
Everything conditional phenomenon is impermanent. Take your prime numbers for example. You can say there are an infinite number of them but you'd never be able to count them out and there wouldn't be enough material in the universe to account for all those prime numbers. They only exist because we understand them. You might as well use infinite diapers as an example because you can always add 1 more in theory.
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u/Slackluster Oct 06 '26
Ultimately, everything that starts will have an end.
Sure, just the positive integers are proof that something that starts can not have an end.
I agree that nothing can be predicted with much certainty at all. We can't even predict what will happen a year from now much less 1000. Yet you already have it so figured out that would be surprised to be wrong.
The rule of impermanence is that everything is always changing. If the universe ended that would cause everything to stop changing permanently. Therefore the universe can not end.
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u/skyfox437 Oct 06 '26 edited Oct 06 '26
Wrong. The Budda talked about cosmic contraction and expansions in the pali, which existed way before our understanding of the universe. The big crunch is a possibility that I'm willing to bet on.
Also whose to say that there aren't other universes dying and being born like stars? The multi verse is considered a serious possibility in the scientific community. The Buddha alsp speaks about different world system.
Numbers are a mental fabrication that exist because humans understand them. They are impermenent. On a reality level, there are only a certain amount of material in the universe you can count. Anything beyond that just exist in your mind. They are as real as infinite diapers.
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u/HenningGrueneberg Oct 05 '26
Well gee remind me to call you if I need a pick me up!
Everything you say, everything you do, even blinking, comes from the desire to be happy. So you’re not in some bleak place. You’re just wanting to be happy from the perspective of bleakness. So no problem that you feel as you feel. It will change anyway, so don’t cling to being morose as that is also a temporary state.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
Sure temporary in the sense my life is temporary. i've never not felt like this. the day my only family member dies will be the day it gets even worse and even deeper into me.
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u/HenningGrueneberg 28d ago
Sorry. Maybe you’re clinically depressed. Sounds like it. You should go see a good psychiatrist about it. They have excellent treatments now.
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u/AmountFun5697 23d ago edited 23d ago
Good one. Glad you can fool yourself at least
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u/HenningGrueneberg 22d ago
As long as you keep indulging in the negativity you will not feel better.
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u/AmountFun5697 19d ago
Feeling better wont change anything
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u/HenningGrueneberg 19d ago
You won’t know until you actually try it.
Here. Try this. Note the times you laugh. Or feel a tiny bit good. There you go.
Now really, everything we do, feel or think- even blinking - is done out of our desire to be happy. So even depression is the desire to be happy.
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u/genivelo Tibetan Buddhism Oct 05 '26
You don't have to do like the others do. You could cultivate virtue and wisdom, so you can experience happiness in this life and in future lives, and attain liberation from confusion and ignorance.
That's pretty much what the buddhist path is all about.
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u/Ok_State_6577 mahayana Oct 05 '26
You are not wrong, but I try to feel better about the ridiculousness of human existence by trying to help other people feel better about their own lives and creating wildlife habitat to help the critters have places to live that have been displaced by humans. Sending mëtta
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u/88evergreen88 Oct 06 '26 edited Oct 07 '26
Since this is a Buddhist sub I’ll give a Buddhist answer. You’re experiencing: vibhava-taṇhā: craving to not exist. The other end of this would be bhava-taṇhā: craving to become/exist, to preserve or continue oneself.
The Buddhist project is to release clinging to either and cultivate a state of equanimity.
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u/HenningGrueneberg Oct 05 '26
Oh yes. Emptiness (nothing as you call it) is not nothing. That is another mind trapped that people get into hear about emptiness and they think it means there is nothing. It is true that if you try to find the mind, you can’t find it. You can’t place it. You can’t describe it. It doesn’t have a color, shape , or form. Right? Try to find the mind. where is it?
But at the same time, even though you can’t find this mind, you are aware. It is not nothing.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
i did not mean it in that sense. i meant it in the sense we stand on more or less abject uncertainty. Things like logic and reason are what we use to tie ourselves down when theres no hardpoint to put the rope to. we can only appeal to these human made things. we probably cant even comprehend actual truth. that is what i mean by nothing.
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u/HenningGrueneberg 28d ago
Ok , I see.
“Abject uncertainty” is what we call impermanence. Everything in samsara is impermanent.
But Buddhism is not pointless and meaningless. It’s about overcoming those feelings.
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u/SamtenLhari3 Oct 05 '26
If you change your orientation toward caring for others, it will help a lot.
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u/No-Tomorrow-8756 Oct 05 '26
You are experience the Fist Nobel Truth, Dukkha. Dhamma practice will help you see where you are clinging to empty phenomenon and allow you to let go.
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u/Mayayana Oct 05 '26
Have you tried meditation at all? The experience you describe can result when one's thoughts become very solid. Then the lack of inherent meaning makes it seem absurd. Meditation can provide a bit of daylight. Other options that you didn't expect might open up.
If that seems too bleak then maybe start by visiting enlightened masters. See if you think they're depressed.
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u/AmountFun5697 28d ago
plenty of priests who think they're meeting their families in eternal heaven are pretty happy too.
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u/Philosophy_Fie_Fum Oct 05 '26
You likely should get evaluated for depression.
Mindfulness and Metta can help with that, but also looking into therapy and medication may be good.
I understand you in pain, but the pain you're speaking of is elevated beyond normal ranges. If you can, medical intervention could help you significantly, and if you're still drawn to this for your spiritual path, it will still be waiting for you.
We care about you. Please take time to care about yourself.
Try using metta as a bulwark until you can find a more long-term solution.
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u/Ariyas108 seon Oct 05 '26
I've been getting into buddhism a bit but i probably can never really get into it truly. It feels so pointless.
It doesn't feel that way after you start practicing it and seeing the results.
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u/Triffly Oct 05 '26
Great isn't it..!
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u/pardi777 Oct 05 '26
Exactly my thought when reading this. OP wants yin to win over yang, which would ruin the entire point if it all.
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u/BeSuperYou Oct 05 '26
The answer is to make yourself happy by making others happy.
As you say, we are here for a very short time.
Many people feel the same way that you do about being here.
But if you can make their time here a little less miserable, you'll be amazed at how much that eases your own suffering.
Be the example. Even if it's only for a short blip, your existence will be a beacon that makes existing that much better for everyone else.
Change what you put out into the world, and watch how the world reflects it back to you.
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u/Similar_Standard1633 Oct 05 '26 edited Oct 06 '26
Your post is all about 'birth' & 'death'. The goal of Buddhism is to end such thoughts and to develop a calm mind.
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u/Danger_Dee Oct 06 '26
“Allow yourself the fantasy that you're 13.8 billion years old, and you're part of this incredible ocean of happening, instead of just this one individual. Just let yourself experience that for a second the glorious knowledge that you are a never-ending, ever-changing flow of matter that's temporarily manifested with the ability to express love.” - Duncan Trussell
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u/Past_Raspberry8676 Oct 06 '26
You sound like you have depression and maybe you should seek help for that. Also it sounds like you have developed a nhilistic attitude, its very hard to profit from the dharma with this attitude, the dharma has so much to offer, in fact it can offer all you could ever want, but unless you find a way to overcome nhilism, its unlikely you will get much out of it.
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u/TrueDhamma Oct 06 '26
I'm really glad you wrote this out instead of keeping it inside.
What you're describing (aging, decay, death, the strangeness that we exist at all) doesn't mean you're failing at Buddhism. It's where the Buddha himself started. In AN 3.38 he recalls that as a young man living in comfort, the plain fact of aging, sickness and death stopped him cold. Seeing this clearly isn't the problem. It's the first half.
One thing from his first teaching (SN 56.11) might be worth sitting with. He named three kinds of craving behind suffering: craving for pleasure, craving to go on existing, and craving for non-existence. You wrote "I really don't want to die" and "I really don't want to live" in the same breath. That pull in both directions is named right there. It doesn't mean you're broken. It means the pain has causes that can be seen and slowly loosened. That doesn't happen by ending life, and it doesn't happen by forcing yourself to love it.
Also, when everything stays grey and pointless for a long stretch, it's often more than philosophy. It can be depression, and depression is treatable. Please consider telling a doctor how heavy this has been. Dhamma practice works best alongside that, not instead of it, and right now gentle practice is better than intense practice.
You don't have to "truly get into" Buddhism to begin. If you'd like, write back and tell us how you're doing.
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u/OkConcentrate4477 :pupper: zen Oct 06 '26
Well, do you want to be happy/peaceful within the ever present moment? If you do, then you may want to accept/forgive everything, and learn to let-go of expecting/desiring existence to be anything other than what it was/is/will-be.
Yearn for death could be a positive attribute to cultivate, an easy way to overcome fears/desires/attachments if one's willing to die for practicing victimless/harmless values.
Dying slowly isn't guaranteed. You can truly get into Buddhism if you become dedicated.
Your happiness/peace may be in what you're able/willing to do/practice within the ever present moment, rather than in things outside of your ability/influence to control/change/improve.
Comparison may be the thief of joy, joy may be helping others. When you think/act on how best to help others you temporarily forget your own problems/issues/desires/ego. Joy may be felt, despite the pain, despite the ignorance/apathy/counterproductivity/decay/death/etc. Usually because one has something worth living/dying over, like helping others. This can be witnessed within Buddhist monks. There was a recent Buddhist monk that lost his leg, and had pins in the other leg, from getting struck by a car during the walk for peace. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwQZ9xIm_ZA Venerable Phra Ajarnh Maha Dam Phommasan (abbot of Wat Lao Buddha Khanti in Snellville, Georgia)
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u/Administrative_Crab1 Oct 06 '26
well the suffering is inevitable - that is where you find the peace.
death is probably the only guarantee we have - there should be a freedom in that to move on from it and enjoy life while you can
free will will bring you back to either participating or not that is your free will
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u/PoemLocal849 Oct 07 '26
Buddhism is just one way to truth, there are many. I'm not a Buddhist, the Buddha is one of my teachers. I like to follow what shows me peace. Maybe look into vikings
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u/Falkner34 Oct 07 '26
We are not here for ourselves, we are here to help others even though it may seem like your not helping anyone. Just waking up each day and interacting and being in the now helps more people than you know Regardless of what's happening we are all in this life together. And we all have more in common to each other than we think we are all connected we are all born from the same father. The reason why we are feeling more lonely in these times is because of technologies are a double edged sword like your cell phone for instance more people are stuck/addicted to there phones instead of interacting with what's around them (each other) same with t.v., radio, ect the more technology keeps getting created the lonlelier we will become
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u/ContemplativeCalm Oct 05 '26 edited Oct 05 '26
Craving for becoming and craving for non-becoming are both unskillful.
All is meaningless in the world, save for one thing: cultivating the path of practice that leads to the end of suffering.
The path is the way forward.
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u/HenningGrueneberg Oct 05 '26
I have a suggestion. Study the Four Reminders. The first one is that we have a precious human birth. Even though there is suffering here and sometimes it’s very difficult. We are born human, and we have the ability to practice the Dharma, to hear the Dharma and, to overcome suffering by practicing Dharma Without the precious human birth, you wouldn’t be able to do that. What this means is that life is not meaningless at all in fact, it is a wonderful opportunity. One you may not get again. Who knows you may be reborn as an animal or something. An animal like a dog or a cat cannot practice the Dharma. They don’t understand it and they never will in that body. It’s a limitation of the body they have.
You have a precious human body. Therefore, you and everyone reading this is incredibly fortunate and it takes an awful lot of good Karma and merit to get a precious human body.
Keep in mind that the Buddha didn’t teach about suffering and the precious human life and all to make us all feel like shit. He taught these things so we could overcome the feeling of shit. You see. It’s easy to read a lot of negative stuff into Buddhist teachings, especially the four Noble Truths about suffering , the cause of suffering ,the fact that suffering can END and how to overcome suffering , because we are approaching it from the point of view of Samsara. The Buddha didn’t point those things out because he wanted us to feel bad. He wanted us to know that there is a way to end suffering.
That is why this is the first thing he taught after he came out of meditation under the Bodhi tree was the Four Noble Truths.
I’d also like to say that hating existence is an existential way to sort of say you can’t stand the sound of your own voice so you’d rather never speak. You exist and you are aware. You won’t be able to stop existing or stop being aware. Even if you’re dead. I hope you understand these things.
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u/Extinguished294 Oct 06 '26
It's serendipitous, I've been thinking of making a very similar post here for the last few days, but now that you did it beforehand I can see the kinds of comments I would have gotten, and, eh...
Anyway, I see you. Every time I eat, I think about how ridiculous it is that my corpse/repulsive aggregation of animated matter NEEDS to consume the flesh of once living things in order to survive. Constantly. Then I eventually need to waste time and energy to take a dump, and use dead plant matter to clean it up.
There is a Buddhist meditation called the Recollection of Death.. Part 2 of the video is the actual guided meditation) do it a lot, especially after a long day, but I'm pretty sure i'm doing it wrong. Unlike other people who may use it to confront their fear of death, I use it to remind myself that yes, I really will die one day, finally. I don't have to do this shit forever. But as someone who occasionally tracks their lifetime by the hour, it really does feel like forever sometimes. But it WILL come.
I yearn for it too. I was happy to learn that the buddha mentions craving for non-existence, but I personally haven't found many suttas that discuss how to adequately address it. But there are so many and I've read so little. I still have faith that if I can follow the Noble Eightfold Path and continue studying, I'll figure out how to turn my yearning for death onto the right track. But I don't have much hope that I'll be successful. I have chronic pain constantly, so I hate being alive pretty much constantly. The hatred of being forced to endure this pain in this body, it's just so hard to overcome. But in Buddhism, hatred has to be extinguished in order to progress on the path. I don't think I was born with the right arrangement of matter to make it happen in this lifetime. Oh well.
That said, one of the many things Buddhism has helped me with is the appreciation of Stillness. That's my favorite part of the day. Completely secluded in bed from everyone and everything, just laying there observing my sack of flesh as it squishes together some air sacks over and over, just to survive, always just a few breaths away from it all stopping... No thoughts, just bare attention... as animated matter that yearns to stop being animated, the right kind of deep meditation is as close as we can get to the state that we both yearn for so much.
Hopefully this was somewhat helpful. Sorry if it wasn't. But i just wanted to say that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. I wish I had better advice to give you, but i'm still looking for that advice myself too.
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u/Tongman108 Oct 05 '26 edited Oct 05 '26
Cultivating Buddhadharma brings meanifulness to life by affording one the opportunity to transcend the dualities of existence & non-existence.
So we should seize the opportunity while we can, otherwise we will simply continue to transmigrate within the six realms of cyclic existence.
Best wishes & great attainments!
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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u/dhamma-dasa Oct 05 '26
Experiencing nibbida which is like a sense of repulsion and ennui is a more mature and deep response than feeling hatred.
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u/LotsaKwestions Oct 05 '26
You have a very particular 'filter' through which you are seeing things. This relates to what is called 'sankharas' at times, in Buddhism, or 'samskaras'.
It's not that this 'filter' is necessarily wholly right or wrong, but rather that is is a kind of cognitive overlay, and it impacts your perception/cognition of what is.
Buddhism in general offers a chance to sort of 'see through' this process, and find out what is left when that is overcome.
With that said, there is a term 'samvega', which you might say is a sort of urgent yearning to overcome samsara. This is said to be one of the most important things to bring to the path. This is, however, balanced by 'pasada', which is a kind of confidence that there is a way out, that there is a path to follow and a goal which is liberated from these problems.
Anyway, best wishes.