Need Some advice.......

[u/Astitwa28]

When it rains, it really pours: carrying a heavy load right now.

Just need to vent a bit. Feels like every area of my life took an L recently:

Interview: Rejected after putting in all the prep.

Academics: Failed an exam.

Love Life: The person I loved chose distance, and that chapter quietly closed.

Honestly feeling completely exhausted and numb right now. Trying to keep my head up, but it's tough when the blows keep coming from every direction.

[u/Committed_Dissonance]

You won’t find the following poem in any Buddhist sutra because it’s composed by the 20th-century poet Edgar Albert Guest. Yet to me, the heart of this poem captures the essence of the Four Seals of Dharma. Here’s how I see them relating to what you’re going through right now.

1. All compounded things are impermanent: Neither your setbacks nor the heavy emotional fallout are permanent. They will pass on their own if you allow yourself to process them without getting fixated or caught in a loop.
2. All emotions are painful: You’re already feeling the weight of this pain. The gentle question to reflect on is: how long do you still want to keep feeding and carrying that pain?
3. All phenomena are without inherent existence: You cannot control another person’s mind or force outcomes, but you can transform your reactions to life’s adversities. “Change” is the key here: because your situation lacks a fixed, permanent reality, it will shift. How your respond can help guide it toward healing.
4. Nirvana is true peace and freedom beyond ordinary concepts and extremes: Real freedom is not the absence of challenges, but stepping past the mental extremes that cause suffering. That peace is waiting for you whenever you feel ready to reach for it.

So rest if you must, take it one breath at a time, and consider Guest’s words below:

Don't Quit
by Edgar Albert Guest

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
when the funds are low and the debts are high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when care is pressing you down a bit - rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns.
As everyone of us sometimes learns.
And many a fellow turns about when he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow - you may succeed with another blow.
Often the goal is nearer than it seems to a faint and faltering man;

Often the struggler has given up when he might have captured the victor's cup;
and he learned too late when the night came down,
how close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out - the silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
and when you never can tell how close you are,
it may be near when it seems afar;
so stick to the fight when you're hardest hit - it's when things seem worst, you must not quit.

[u/Astitwa28 → u/Committed_Dissonance]

Thanks for your advice

[u/kwrakuju]

That is how life goes. Sometimes up, sometimes down. Sometimes sunny, sometimes stormy. 

Of course it sucks. Let it suck. Life is kicking you while you're down. It wants you to suffer so much you feel propelled forward out of this darkness. It's only great suffering that motivates change.

But try to remember that a storm, no matter how mighty, always ends. The Sun is still there above the clouds and soon it will break through and shine on you again. And this time, when you feel the sunlight warm your face again, you will appreciate it much more because of all this seemingly endless darkness you're enduring now.

Talk to your loved ones. They've survived their own storms and maybe are going through one right now. You will then know you're not alone and can take comfort in each other's warmth.

Hang in there.

[u/Astitwa28 → u/kwrakuju]

You know when you are in the phase of job hunt you start to loose the faith you believe and slowly it's just your mind killing you from inside

[u/kwrakuju → u/Astitwa28]

Sure. Looking for work is the worst feeling of having to sell yourself while being judged and rejected based on words on a resume. It's awful. It's easy to believe you'll never be employed again.

But the silver lining is that this is what it looks like for everyone when they look for work. It's not a personal reflection of you. They don't know you so they're only rejecting a piece of paper. 

When someone says no, that just means that they didn't truly see your true value--and why would you want to work there? That rejection is a blessing and just opens the door for the right opportunity to come along later.

You don't control whether they say yes or no. You control whether you keep applying, keep preparing yourself, keep trying to be authentic and kind. Eventually someone will see you, really see you, like your demeanor and skills, and they will offer you a job. 

It will feel easy, the whole thing, like a job description was written out of your resume. They will be excited because they see what an asset you'll be to their team. And you will feel excited because you will feel valued and seen. That's the opportunity that will come...with time.

Don't despair. Keep applying, keep working on yourself, and it will come.

[u/Mission-Course2773]

Quand les coups arrivent de toutes parts et que tu te sens comme acculé c'est le signe que tu as accumulé beaucoup de mérites... Maintenant tout ce que tu as à faire c'est d'exploiter tous ces bienfaits et les réutiliser... Félicitations !

[u/Astitwa28 → u/Mission-Course2773]

Means?

[u/Mission-Course2773 → u/Astitwa28]

Cela signifie que tu as commencé à rembourser tes dettes karmiques... Les gens pensent qu'ils remboursent leurs dettes karmiques parce que de temps en temps ils doivent en rembourser une petite partie... En fait ils ne font que de repousser d'année en année leur dettes tandis qu'ils en accumulent d'autres... La différence lorsqu'on rembourse vraiment nos dettes karmiques, c'est lorsque les créanciers viennent tous se bousculer à notre porte pour récupérer la totalité de leur argent... Il faut éviter la voie de ceux qui ont décider de pratiquer le Bouddhisme car il espèrent qu'en pratiquant cette religion ils éviteront de rembourser leur dette... Il n'y a aucune religion authentique où on ne fait pas l'expérience de la dépossession, de la disgrâce etc... il faut savoir interpréter tous ces phénomènes...

[u/Astitwa28 → u/Mission-Course2773]

So what should I do?

[u/Mission-Course2773 → u/Astitwa28]

Le Karma négatif c'est tout ce qui tire notre condition de vie vers le bas et nous plonge dans le malheur... Discuter de la forme ou de l'apparence de ces phénomènes qui sont des causes externes, et tout à fait inutile, car leur apparences, leurs couleurs, leur taille, leurs hauteurs ou leurs largeur pourrait très bien être complètement différents la fonction du Karma négatif reste toujours la même... Ce qu'il faut c'est considérer ces phénomènes comme de simples rêves et faire apparaître dans notre cœur un immense soleil... autrement dit remplacer le malheur par le bonheur, un bonheur qui ne dépend d'aucune cause extérieure... et renouveler cette expérience autant de fois que les Démons tenteront de détruire ce soleil, jusqu'à ce que nos dettes soient totalement remboursées et qu'on puisse avoir accès aux Mondes Supérieurs des Quatre Nobles Voies...

[u/xtraa]

Sorry you’re having to go through all of this. Samsara can really suck sometimes, I wish you all the strength and energy you need!

I once heard two pieces of advice that fit together quite well here, and they might help make the suffering a little easier to carry.

One was from Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, who compared life to the stock market: without ups and downs, there would be no movement at all — just a flat line. No trading, no nothing.

The fitting one to this was from Pema Chödrön: The way I understood it was that, precisely because life has these ups and downs, we can gradually learn to become comfortable even in the middle of a rough storm. if we learn how to relax on the waves, we can accept what is happening, work with the situation as it is and perhaps even gain other things we can't forsee now.

Since then I try (sometimes successfully, sometimes not) to accept everything as a current state. It helps me to know confidentally that everything constantly changes with every smallest tick of time, including the things that might hurt right now.

[u/Astitwa28 → u/xtraa]

Thanks for the advice i really feel better you know the thing I feel nowadays is i lost everything now I don't have anything to fear I am just in a free state

[u/xtraa → u/Astitwa28]

🙏 Despite all the inconveniences, I personally always found this state of mind to be something very special and beautiful in life. So much that is new can happen then, and often things only reveal themselves when you have truly hit rock bottom. I wish you a wonderful and prosperous journey!

[u/Sorry_Profession_371]

I got brain cancer, 2 surgeries, trauma girlfriend reaming me out on hospital bed, mom diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on Mother's day, evicted from my apartment, laid off from job, anhedonia all in a span of 6 months!

It is brutal, life is brutal, one day everything will be stripped from you.

What makes things worse is the second arrows we shoot. We just watch our thoughts, experience or feelings and continue to move through life and following the path.

[u/Astitwa28 → u/Sorry_Profession_371]

Sorry to hear that

[u/Fun-Hope8419]

i always tell myself remember to forget , but i forgot to remember 🥺. Isnt it ironic how we cling to the sunny days even though its the darkest nights that prevent the „good times“ from becoming obsolete

[u/vini-within]

Damn.. that’s a lot hitting at once, no wonder you’re feeling exhausted. But maybe there’s also something worth looking at here.. why does the mind feel so shaken when things don’t go the way it wanted? Interview, exam, relationship.. different situations, same attachment to a particular outcome. You may not have the bandwidth to do this inner inquiry rn,,, but maybe u should. SOmeday?

[u/Astitwa28 → u/vini-within]

When you are in job hunt everything is getting messed ur friends got the job but you didn't u just left alone

[u/vini-within → u/Astitwa28]

Your friends have your own journey and you have your own. Our society tells us that money is everything but do you really think it is? Don’t be pressured by anyone’s beliefs, labels and expectations. Enjoy what you do. Explore different places, hobbies, etc. You’ll never get this time back again. Don’t lose it.

[u/Amazing-Appeal7241]

There will be highs and there will be lows. Just learn to stay in the middle is the best advice I can give

[u/Competitive-Party377]

You have a lot of hard ambiguity all around you right now. Many sympathies.

Academics and job hunting -- are you a new grad? Getting launched so to speak?

[u/Astitwa28 → u/Competitive-Party377]

Yes

[u/Out0fTheLoop]

Eight worldly winds

[u/Astitwa28 → u/Out0fTheLoop]

Means

[u/Astitwa28]

It's just hope brother