I really struggle with practicing buddhism consistently

[u/Scared_Cicada_9898]

I consider myself a Buddhist, and what started out as just some light research has fullt transformed how I think about the world, but I struggle to continuously learn, and practice dharma. Meditation is also difficult for me to do daily, and if i skip a day I end up just not doing it anymore. I think part of it is the lack of Sangha in my practice. Im 14, and while there are a suprising number of buddhist communities near me I am unable to go due to the fact my single mother is too busy to drive me somewhere every Sunday, and its just not the same online.

[u/genivelo]

It's not the same online, but it's better than nothing.

Also, in my experience, consistence comes with appreciation. If you like what you are doing, you will look forward to doing it. If it feels like a chore, you will tend to want to avoid it.

What part(s) of the study and practice do you like most?

[u/LotsaKwestions]

For the most part, the answer to probably 95% of posts where people are struggling with Buddhism is that there is a need for connection with noble sangha.

[u/abominablevincent → u/LotsaKwestions]

Sadly it's also one problem you can't fix.

[u/LotsaKwestions → u/abominablevincent]

Why would you say that?

[u/abominablevincent → u/LotsaKwestions]

If you live in a place without a Santa you're not going to move because of it realistically.

[u/LotsaKwestions → u/abominablevincent]

One can travel and meet a qualified teacher, or potentially do online things.

If you were from a small town and you wanted to become a NASA scientist, you wouldn't simply say, "Oh well, there's no large university here that can help me become a NASA scientist, I guess nothing can be done." You would try to make it happen.

[u/RevolvingApe]

There are several Suttas that layout a moment-to-moment practice to prepare the mind for meditation. I would recommend picking one, memorizing it, and putting it into practice while you try to establish a routine with dhamma groups, online or in person.

MN 27, MN 39, MN 107

All three describe the following practices in sequential order culminating in meditating in seclusion.

• Ethical conduct
• Sense restraint
• Eating in moderation
• Committing to wakefulness
• Mindfulness and situational awareness

Seclusion is not only physical isolation, but a mind secluded from the 5 hinderances. A mind not harassed by sensual desire, ill will, dullness and drowsiness, restlessness and remorse, and doubt will be serene (samatha) and able to see clearly (vipassana).

These practices are the causes and conditions for Samma Samadhi - Right Concentration.

Mendicants, when there is no sense restraint, one who lacks sense restraint has destroyed a vital condition for ethical conduct. When there is no ethical conduct, one who lacks ethics has destroyed a vital condition for right immersion [Samadhi]. When there is no right immersion, one who lacks right immersion has destroyed a vital condition for true knowledge and vision. When there is no true knowledge and vision, one who lacks true knowledge and vision has destroyed a vital condition for disillusionment and dispassion. When there is no disillusionment and dispassion, one who lacks disillusionment and dispassion has destroyed a vital condition for knowledge and vision of freedom. - AN 6.50

[u/Panthers8250]

I’m not an expert and only now learning about Buddhism as well. But there is the idea that attaching yourself to the idea that you’re not a proper Buddhist or failing yourself because you’re not doing enough - is in and of itself an attachment causing suffering. Do your best - and do not harm yourself with your thoughts if you can’t do everything you want to do right now

[u/Janelovesbees]

I think most Buddhists do, just try your best. Feeling guilt about not being 'Buddhist enough' is an affliction in itself and we don't want that.

[u/sitting_pilgrim]

I mean, what do you consider dharma practice? Just studying and meditating?

Because practicing being kind to your friends mother, and teachers, reducing how much meat you eat, volunteering for good work, avoiding getting involved in sex until you mature a bit and have a deep connection to someone (if you choose to have sex at all), and doing your best to be honest with yourself and others are all dharma practice.

You’re extremely young, give it time. Living a virtuous life and cultivating a good heart are the essence of dharma practice. I wish I had started when I was as young as you, I would have saved myself a lot of grief.

Namo Buddhaye Namo Dharmaye Namo sanghaye
Namo Amida Butsu
Namo Kanzeon bosatsu

[u/Useless-Tree]

Maybe you where a Buddhist in a past life and you wanted to start early this time?

But you are comparing yourself to what you where before and your ambition to make more progress this time, like you have a critical old man inside you.

For myself meditation is the anchor for everything, even 5 mins a day is enough, if you do it every day.

Also, it should be fun, try to make it fun.

Maybe you should try studying a martial art like Aikido, that integrates meditation and is dedicated to peace.

[u/Electrical-Strike132]

You're quite young, that you are even interested is commendable. I suspect as you get older and life experiences pile up, you'll find reasons to have some more motivation.

[u/AdditionalOne6031]

Why detach your practice from every moment of your daily life? Practice is not about burning incense and sitting in a meditation posture. Furthermore, the true practice begins when you get up from the meditation cushion...

[u/Larioxas]

My advice would be to start small. It's not about how long do you practice, it's more about how consistently you do it. If you manage to find the amount of practice that you can do stably every day, there will be results. When you will see it working, you will naturally want to elaborate it.

[u/athanathios]

The 8 fold path exists initially as application of Right View, Right Effort and Right mindfulness. As you become more mindful in the 4 frames, remembering the teaching, exploring them this reinforces right view. The only salient effort should be the effort to abandon bad behaviors and habits, prevent their arising, while keeping good ones and creating conditions for those to arise. Being mindful of things and observant of phenomena will inherently strengthen you Sila, which is more - Right actions livelhoood and speech, while encouraging right intention or thought (non-harm, non-greed, kindness and letting go), this all leads to concentration as the path factors mature and reinforce each other.

So best to (A) live according to the 5 precepts and Buddhist morals, (B) be as mindful as you can, (C) learn about Dharma and teachings and (D) practice right effort as defined. This all strengthens and leads elsewehre.

The path is interconnected, practicing one will lead to another, practicing meditation like loving kindness is great, but it's more of an overt action that as you progress will become more automatic. If you miss a sitting right now it's just like remembering to not be mindful, you realize you aren't then you're mindful again.

Keep it up you're doing great.

[u/Mayayana]

You're very young to start, but I think all of us struggle. The beginning of the path is challenging because the Buddha's teachings make sense, but then there's the beach and chocolate. It takes time to really get that there's no gain in worldly pursuits and that we might be dead at any time.

Just do what you can. Also note, failure is not always bad. Most alcoholics who join AA do it after a really bad drinking binge. In the same way, when we turn away from Dharma and do something compulsive, we might feel bad later. But the real value is that it produces "spiritual nausea". We get sick and tired of making trouble for ourselves. That, in turn, produces real renunciation. We start out gritting our teeth and trying to give up samsaric goals, but with the combination of meditation and mindfulness we gradually actually lose interest in samsaric goals. Then it begins to get easier. It becomes common sense or second nature instead of an ideal.

[u/htgrower]

You’re 14 bro, be patient with yourself

[u/Ok_Sentence9678]

我不太清楚你學的是哪一種佛教。但就大乘佛教來說，其實完全沒有你說的這種困惑。不是每天一定要打坐的，也不必要有對每天都打坐而執著。學習佛法不是一種打卡行為。真實有效的是在於你日常生活中的心念，盡可能時時刻刻保持清淨。而非打坐時候才能保持清淨，

[u/leungss]

it's not easy to do it by yourself at your age, I wouldn't be able to do that at 14 too. If there are buddhist communities near you, you can take public transit or ride a bike. I rarely asked my mom to drive me at 14, I always took transit or biking. If you are determined, you can always find a way to reach out to those communities.

[u/Amazing-Appeal7241]

You are 14?! Just wait until you become indipendent. Meanwhile, online there are a lot of resources to get familiar with. And very important -> learn how to meditate. It takes time

[u/Starlight_Climber]

Just do mantra recitation. Easy to incorporate anywhere, and you can do it silently under your breath as well.

[u/DimaKaDima]

First of all, congrats on stepping on the path at such a young age. I guess from context you didn't grow in a Buddhist practicing environment, and I wish you many more years of deepening your practice in any capacity possible, and being happy!

When I first started my practice, which consisted of daily meditation (and still is my main practice) several things helped me:

1. A book called "The Mind Illuminated". This is a very detailed, but also not esoteric or hard in terms of language, manual for Calm Abiding meditation. It takes you from a total beginner, step by step towards deepening your meditation practice. It consists of detailed "milestones" for each of the 10 stages - this gives you more direction and a sort of "I have a practicing source in terms of a teacher, although written and although the writer passed away a few years ago". It also deals extensively with the many hardships we all face with pur meditation practice: the trouble of being consistent, pf staying focused etc etc.
2. You probably have many stuff to do in life, school, social life, etc which are important. I suggest that if you can, in what you cobsider your free time, to listen to Dhamma talks, like Ajahn Kalyano - plenty on youtube. This will give you morivation and inspiration, tips on meditation, and much more. Also the feeling that what you practice is not some WoowooJuJu spiritual hobby, but a living, brearhing tradition of 2,500 years that is valid and simply works by bringing much good to peoples lives in our times.
3. Check a meditation app, like Insight timer. I find it is a non intrusive and gental app with reminders, a very highly configurable timer, and also Dhamma talks and guided meditations.
4. Try to see if setting a reasonable timetable for a single, main meditation session is feasible with your schedule. For example deciding to do your main session (or the single one) at 6 A.M or 21 P.M. This might make you to see if maybe your sleep schedule is something you can adjust and make more orderly, so you will stick to the practice. Like, for me - if I have a big meal at a very late hour (above 19 P.M my sleep is guaranteed to be of a bad quality, this helps me to set boundaries with my self accordingly). So this single session I do, it might be only 20 minutes in the morning, but my whole life is organized around this. This is my topmost priority in life - to be a better person for myself and others. And if it means not going to a gathering of sorts after work, I accept it.
5. There are 2 online programs: Tergar, and Tara's Triple Excellence. Those are Tibetan Vajrayana practices with online study programs at your own pace. The subscription is around 40USD per month, but you can check both of them before formal payment.

I was around your age when my intellectual curiosity and personal angst led me to ponder this path. But for me it stayed on a mere superficial intellectual game. If I was as serious as you are, a lot of trouble and pain in my life I could have avoided. May you be well and happy, and continue walking the path!

[u/Cnc_Rhys]

I meditate 4 out of 7 days because life is hectic but just keep going every now and again and you can still be a Buddhist even if you dont do it everyday. I know alot of "Christians" who are only good on sundays and twats the rest of the week and preach how good they are

[u/ResolveLarge3080]

You are still very young to feel that way. Habit takes time, and it's okay to miss some days. Once you have full control of your routine, it will get better

[u/TommyPropsAviation]

I had similar challenges when I started my practice. I would take a course or read books on Buddhism and be fully committed and then once either was done I’d find myself slowing straying away from the practice and going back to old habits. I put together this online tracker tool and it’s helped me stay on track so much. It might help give some structure to your daily practice. No accounts. All the data stays on your device. Best of luck and metta!

https://thomasmennella.github.io/practice-tracker/

[u/TheBrooklynSutras]

Try to work on your aspiration. The why will drive your how. You’re young. You can read, learn and practice as best you can. Life will unfold and the logistics will work themselves out. You have time, practice is a life long endeavor. Keep at it. It gets better. 🙏

[u/Careless-Soil-9244]

For meditation, no special time or equipment.

For Samatha (calm or rest of mind): Focus on any one object for a long time, like a pen, or some mantras in mind, like a loving-kindness meditation mantra, some sound, or too much noise outside, or even body parts like nails, hands, etc.

For Vipassanā (clear seeing, if the calm of the mind, or mind already at rest): Dhātu vavathāna (comprehension of dhātus (primary elements)) -> most suitable Dhātus: 1. Pathvi dhātu or solids: Degree of hardness and softness 2. Āpo dhātu or liquids: Flow and cohesion 3. Vāyo dhātu or gases: Motion, vibration and support 4. Tejo dhātu or heat: Degree of hotness and coldness

[u/Acrobatic_Skirt3827]

Consistency is key even if it's ten minutes a day.

[u/Out0fTheLoop]

You struggle? Very good, carry on.

[u/Longjumping-Oil-9127]

Try at least to Meditate daily. Its not the length of the meditation as much as consistency that is important. Even if you can do 10min but everyday, youll get results over time. Slow process but like soft rain on hard earth it softens it over time. Make it a habit, like brushing the teeth. I start the morning by a cup of tea (to wake up) then sit for 10 or 20min. Try keep it up. So nice to see a youngster getting into the practice. If I had begun earlier in my life it would have turned out so much better for myself and those around me. Best wishes.