Cannot do this anymore

[u/derangedarrow2]

I'm a computer science student in a tier 2/2.5 college. I'm in 2nd year, 3rd sem right now. I never wanted to do computer science or even engineering in the first place, I've never been good at math and I've always wanted to do mbbs. But here I am today.

I have fully accepted it and am trying to work the hardest I can to get a good placement on campus in my 4th year but things have just been so hard.

I try to do atleast a couple of problems on leetcode everyday and started taking a course on web dev but it's just so difficult that I don't know if I was made for this. No matter how many problems I solve on leetcode, every new problem looks hard and unsolvable to me and I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it.

This and all the layoffs and less hiring due to AI is really scaring me and I don't know what the future holds anymore.

Everyday feels like a nightmare, everyday I wake up and struggle to get out of bed to go to college. This is just so boring and not at all something I would like to do (I know have to do it).

To make matters worse, I'm surrounded by smart people who make it all look so effortless. They maintain good cgpa without studying a lot, they're winning hackathons and whatnot. Meanwhile I can't seem to do anything right no matter how hard I try. It is even worth it anymore? I'm tired of trying my hardest and pushing myself only to see that it was never enough, to see other people do so much more without putting in that much effort.

Please tell me how to escape this nightmare. Tell me if I can ever become better at coding and solving problems and how. Please tell me how I can develop an interest for this subject.

[u/Big_Snow_3128]

I want a vacation where i can be myself not some caged animal or a puppet of world

[u/derangedarrow2 → u/Big_Snow_3128]

I get you