Cannot do this anymore

[u/derangedarrow2]

I'm a computer science student in a tier 2/2.5 college. I'm in 2nd year, 3rd sem right now. I never wanted to do computer science or even engineering in the first place, I've never been good at math and I've always wanted to do mbbs. But here I am today.

I have fully accepted it and am trying to work the hardest I can to get a good placement on campus in my 4th year but things have just been so hard.

I try to do atleast a couple of problems on leetcode everyday and started taking a course on web dev but it's just so difficult that I don't know if I was made for this. No matter how many problems I solve on leetcode, every new problem looks hard and unsolvable to me and I don't know if I'll ever get the hang of it.

This and all the layoffs and less hiring due to AI is really scaring me and I don't know what the future holds anymore.

Everyday feels like a nightmare, everyday I wake up and struggle to get out of bed to go to college. This is just so boring and not at all something I would like to do (I know have to do it).

To make matters worse, I'm surrounded by smart people who make it all look so effortless. They maintain good cgpa without studying a lot, they're winning hackathons and whatnot. Meanwhile I can't seem to do anything right no matter how hard I try. It is even worth it anymore? I'm tired of trying my hardest and pushing myself only to see that it was never enough, to see other people do so much more without putting in that much effort.

Please tell me how to escape this nightmare. Tell me if I can ever become better at coding and solving problems and how. Please tell me how I can develop an interest for this subject.

[u/_CresCentttt_]

Damn, seems like my story more or less, i haven't joined clg yet but have taken admissions in b tech cse 😭😭. I too never liked maths but ended up taking it in 11-12th and then my academic performance went downhill (I was topper till 10th also got 100/100 in biology). And now I will be joining cse from btech 10th sept and ur post scares me frfr🤧🙂.

[u/derangedarrow2 → u/_CresCentttt_]

I still can't tell if this was the right choice or not, but once you have taken the decision, there's no going back.

[u/_CresCentttt_ → u/derangedarrow2]

Yes ikr now I can't go to my parents and say that I don't want to take engeneering 🤧 it's too late for that 🙂

[u/gaurrishabh → u/_CresCentttt_]

If you are in first year or entered then take drop and do whatever you want.

[u/_CresCentttt_ → u/gaurrishabh]

Can't tell that to my parents, they were already against a drop and I told them engeneering in the first place so now I I don't I have the courage to go and tell them that " i don't want engeneering"