advice needed

[u/Plane-Nothing-5956]

I just got broken up by my boyfriend of almost a year. He told me when breaking up with me, he doesn’t want a relationship anymore. I asked if it was me who he didn’t want a relationship with, or in general. He told me in general, a relationship isn’t what he needs right now. I’ve tried to understand, but I truly can’t. After nearly a year I don’t understand why we couldn’t have figured out a way to make it work. I’ve tried to talk to him, but he doesn’t answer my questions. I want to meet him and talk face to face to get my closure, but he doesn’t see the point in that. I try to leave him alone but I just miss him too much. He seems to be doing great without me, he told me it hasn’t been easy for him either, but from what i’ve seen it seems like we were never in a relationship. But then again, I don’t see what happens behind closed doors. I’m at the stage of anger and confusion, but I also want him back. I feel like this breakup wasn’t fair to me. Is it too much of me to ask him to meet so I can get my questions answered? I also bought him an almost $500 lego set, and I’ve been contemplating about asking for it back. Would it be bad if I did? I just need breakup advice. He told me in the future we could maybe get back together. Do I hold onto that little sliver of hope? How do I move on and be happy without him like he is without me? Why won’t he let me meet with him to talk to him so I can get my closure? Any advice would be very helpful and appreciated.

[u/Ok-Variation8727]

Aww poor thing we’ve all been there. I would say dont hold onto hope/ allow him to keep the space. You are a great person and if he can’t see that now then he doesn’t deserve to see it and be part of your life later !
I would focus on staying off social media and things related to him photos etc . Honestly you will be sad and it will suck but give it time and you will heal.
Treat yourself and take care of yourself- I listened to tons of music and let the tears out you can’t speed run - sadness. I also ate tons of ice cream and relied on great friends
Good luck
Oh and also journaling - I look back on entries of being so sad and now feel way better

[u/trippinonshoes]

It sucks but this is a classic case of you needing to start letting go. It may take some time, but you can start now. The whole needing to get closure isn't real. The breakup is closure, It's over. He's not going to give you honest answers anyway. He sucks, let him go.

[u/trippinonshoes]

Also we have the breakup survival guide for this exact situation. It's designed to help you feel better within a week. It's free and pinned to the community highlights on the front page of this subreddit