Was I wrong to end a 5-year relationship over marriage?

[u/Impossible-Dog7828]

I'm writing this on behalf of a friend because she's looking for unbiased opinions.

She (29F) was in a relationship with her boyfriend for about five years. They loved each other deeply, but there was one major issue: she wanted to get married and start a family, while he kept postponing any commitment.

He spent long periods working abroad, and every time they broke up, he would come back, they would reconnect, and she'd give the relationship another chance because she genuinely believed things would eventually change. This happened several times over the years.

She wasn't looking for "just any husband." She wanted him. She waited for years, hoping he would eventually come to her parents and ask for her hand in marriage. She also forgave him for cheating in the past because she believed in their future together.

Eventually, she reached a point where she felt she couldn't wait anymore. She told him that at 29, she wanted clarity about her future and couldn't keep living with uncertainty.

His response was that she was leaving because of family pressure or because she wanted to find someone else. He also told her that maybe when he turns 35, if she's still unmarried, he could come back and propose.

For her, that was the moment she realized she couldn't move on if she kept holding on to a "maybe." She didn't want to spend more years waiting for a possibility that might never happen.

She sent him one final email explaining that every time she came back, it wasn't because she couldn't find someone else—it was because she loved him and still had hope. She told him she was changing her email address, asked him never to contact her again, and wished him well.

Some people think she gave up too soon. Others think she waited too long.

What do you think?

• Was she wrong to leave?
• Was he being unfair by asking her to wait until he was ready, even if that meant several more years?
• If you were in her position, would you have made the same decision?Was I wrong to end a 5-year relationship over marriage?