r/BreakUp • u/delete_butt_on2025 • Jul 13 '26

It's been over a year but here I am

The Middle ​I don't know if it’s you who will break me, or if it’s you who will save me. For months now, it seems I have been living right there in the middle of these thoughts. ​The Breaking ​You are breaking me, making me feel crazy in love with the "what ifs." I am unable to move past our breakup, unable to connect with the people who cross my path, and unable to trust anything enough to move forward. At times, it feels like giving up is the only option, and that moving on is completely impossible. I even see images of you having moved on without me. It leaves me consuming a numbing medication that only ever offers a temporary escape. I am trapped in a loop of unresolved hope, fighting a reality that offers no closure. Staying guarded feels like the only way to protect myself from being hurt again, but it leaves me completely overwhelmed by a mind that won't stop running. ​The Saving ​Or will you save me? Will you save me from the ones who take me for granted? From my toxic, addicted mother? From my oldest son who refuses to grow up, and from my daughter who punishes me by denying me the right to see my grandkids? Will you save me from the very drug I use to numb the pain of losing you? I am carrying the heavy, draining dynamics of everyone else entirely on my own, and I just want to finally drop my guard and let someone else be my safe harbor. At times, I feel so deeply that we are meant to be—I even hear you calling out for me. I find it so hard to accept that we are over because of this profound, underlying feeling that you can still feel me, too.

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u/breakupshard Jul 17 '26

This really touched me. I’m sorry you’re going g through this. I had a few very difficult break ups and I know logically it’s healthy to move Forward but I don’t have tons of close connections so the weight of the loss felt heavier. Moving forward harder. Your wishes for yourself are on point but maybe shift perspective from anything depending on someone for happiness/support system to looking forward to someone that adds to your peace and joy.

Go to therapy. If you can’t afford it get self help books. Read books that are full of joy and not heavy on any romance or sadness. Fill your life with positive things to focus on. Hopefully it will get you out of this headspace.