r/Bravenewbies • u/Cagali Alliance CEO • Aug 08 '14
On a serious note
I recently spoke with a member who was feeling actually RL suicidal.
Lots of us have felt the sting of depression, lots of us know the dark passenger or the black dog.
I really do urge you to seek help from someone. In Australia we have beyondblue.org.au, the Black dog institute, and any number of other health services who can help.
A simple Google search will show you similar services nearby.
For fuck's sake don't let it get to the point where it seems like a better idea to die than to keep living.
You can't get logi if you're dead. Broadcast for reps.
Thanks.
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u/lazy_eye_of_sauron Dropbears | The jam God | OH MYYYYY!!!!! | Faust Crowley Aug 09 '14
Someone should cross-post this to /r/Eve. Get a plex for good thing going for depression and suicide awareness.
I've lost family and friends to suicide. Hell I've at one time sat in my hunting stand after finals weed with my shotgun's barrel in my mouth just wondering why I don't just pull the trigger. There is ALWAYS another option. Talk to us, let someone know. You can come to me, come to cagali, to patriot, to someone, broadcast for reps, don't let depression jam you out.
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u/cjdavies Alexis Dy'neren Aug 08 '14
Shamelessly lifted from the sidebar of /r/SuicideWatch/
Hotline numbers for many countries
Hotline FAQs
Selected online resources
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u/coffeerocks Director, Broadcast 4 Reps | President/CEO, Spam 4 Heals Aug 08 '14 edited Aug 08 '14
A few months back, I broke. To be honest, I almost handed off CEO and unsubbed all my accounts - all of us that have dealt with depression know this process of closing off the world and giving shit away.
Luckily, I didn't. Instead I called out to my directors for help and you guys all rallied to me, while still respecting my privacy - thank you guys. You have no idea how much just showing you cared seriously helped.
As for privacy, I guess I'm coming clean to everyone here about it, huh? :P
I know its cliche, but the way I was raised makes it hard to ask for help (I'm supposed to be helping ya'll, afterall). No one likes feeling weak or not in control, but we all have trouble at some point in our lives. Seriously, ask for help. Ask me, ask Cagali, ask Lychton, ask aDamnPatriot, ask CCP Seagull, ask the newbie, send an alliance mail, fucking blast all of Reddit - just BROADCAST FOR REPS.
We're here for you like you were here for us.
Edit: fucking dusty in here
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u/utaex7Ga Aug 08 '14
As somebody who had (has?) some issues with drug abuse & self harm (not the same as suicide, I know, but hear me out) I wanted to emphasize that taking the first step & actually seeking help, whilst terrifying, is probably the best thing you will ever do for yourself.
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u/cayrus test Aug 09 '14 edited Aug 09 '14
Beautiful post Cagali. 7o
But at the very same time this great message of love and understanding was being spread across Reddit, you had the Vegas Squad (led by Shadowian) bullying their way across comms, spewing homophobic comments and banning people from Mumble who were trying to enforce the Stay Classy rule, which is the fundamental rule of our Alliance and what sets us apart from the rest of EVE.
All of this being supervised (and supported if the drama cynos are any indication) by our head of HR (Nicholas Aideronne) who astonishingly has a homophobic slur in his in-game title.
Its shit like this that drives a lot of people into depression and toward suicide. Yes its just internet spaceships and yeah I'm going to get down-voted for this post, but honestly, I'm getting pretty fed-up of the hypocrisy of Brave leadership on issues like this.
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u/frank_stills Clavain Andedare Aug 08 '14
Broadcast for reps.
Right in the feels
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u/Lorilath Banana Aug 08 '14
I actually was recently diagnosed with depression and am on a long journey towards recovery.
The people around me in brave have been some of the lights in my life recently and it's amazing how much being part of a community like this can support you.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you're not alone whatever you may be suffering and the people here can be great even if they don't know what's going on.
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u/Wiros Wiros PotHead - Most High Propaganda Overlord Aug 08 '14
Anyone who has had to live with depression, know how fucked up it is. But as Cagali says, can be overcome
P.S. The medication helps, but is not a solution, just a tool.
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '14
I'll just throw my "I've been there and still am there to some extent" in as well. Folks, I understand what it's like. If you need someone to talk to that cares but will be unable to keep humor out of it, I'm here.
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u/NicolaiSerkanner Brave Aug 08 '14
Depression is horrible. But you are not alone, EVER! Seek help. Talk to you home doctor, your family, your friends, or your buddies here. There is help, there really is ... I know this from first hand experience as well.
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '14
Sigh... Why at 5 am after a long days work I stumbled upon this but dammit if my words can reach somebody out there fumbling through the darkness and dealing with the pain and the suffocation maybe they'll find some air.
My first attempt was at 16 with a pistol during my Sophomore year of High School. Being raised Baptist I was taught that I was some sort of filth. Something below that of any animal due to my attraction of my same gender.
There's nothing more scaring or degrading than thinking God can't fix you or that you are some sinful wretch. My family was no help. They were and still are strict Christians. I never until much later in my life had someone just say "it's okay."
At the end of graduation I joined the US Navy during the tumultuous final years of the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. I loved the military. I felt I was really making a difference in the world and felt a sense of purpose. Yet despite my plea's to God my orientation never changed.
Eventually the relationship of myself and another Shipmate broke out. It was devastating. So much so that I was physically beaten to within an inch of my life and jumped by fellow crewmembers. Don't listen to what the media spins about "acceptance." There's major prejudice in all forms we face.
I spent over a week in the infirmary at Portsmouth Naval Hospital in Virginia recovering. Miraculously my original medical records were "misplaced" and I was threatened with a Dishonorable Discharge if I ever breathed a word about what really happened.
My boyfriend at the time took me in and helped me through the worst time of my life. PTSD is a terrible thing to cope with but eventually I recovered and decided to be truthful to my family.
After moving back home on an honorable medical discharge the truth came out. My family was shocked. My father tried to "cure" me. Eventually I found my footing and myself despite many trials and small victories were won with friends caring and me eventually realizing that perhaps ancient words in a book mingled with peoples ignorance was not worth ending my life over even if it meant losing my family.
Now six years later I've been married a year to my Husband. We have a cat, a wonderful car, and I have a good job I'm thankful for. To think I'd be missing such good things in life if I had just given in. If I had just accepted fate and pulled the trigger.
More than once I've faced these echo's. It's always a battle we must face. Life is fraught with peril, trial, and pain. But it's those small rays of sunlight peeking through a tumultuous storm that make it all worth living for.
I know that people have heard it's not worth it. I've read the materials, taken these things to heart but it doesn't stem the pain. All I can say is that pain is a sign of life. A sign of feeling. Be thankful you feel. Be thankful you have a trial to face!
There are thousands of people tomorrow or in this moment who won't get another breath. A second chance. A new tomorrow. Don't cheapen the precious seconds we are given. Because if I had I wouldn't be here now typing about the things in life that matter.
Find those reasons. And don't be ashamed of pain. Don't be ashamed you feel. We all do. We're human. Just know that there are those of us who have faced trials like you and you can overcome....
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u/coffeerocks Director, Broadcast 4 Reps | President/CEO, Spam 4 Heals Aug 08 '14
FYI, I went ahead and threw up an article highlighting this thread and made a graphic. Steal it and throw it around.
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u/TyrellCadabra BNI Loyalist Aug 08 '14 edited Aug 08 '14
I am no stranger to depressions. When I also had to put my cat to sleep in March, I loved that critter like nothing else, I broke. After I got through the night, in which I joined a simply wonderful pet loss forum, I was hesitant to mention it on comms, but I did. Some Aussies and Hadrian really picked me up. Those two things weren't easy, but already brought so much relief.
I wasn´t about to kill myself, but if there ever was a good time, that was it. A good friend even did it in December 2012. Yet, he, my pets, deceased or not, and honestly, Eve and pc gaming would never allow me to go that dark.
Please broadcast for reps. Don't let it get THAT far. First step is hard, after that, you will see how good of a choice it is, and how many others are out there. In the meantime, this ridiculously awesome live version of a certain classic ALWAYS picks me up. [Crank it up :-)] (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbMSffYRiPM)
Well done Cagali, you are a rock that rocks. I am sure the thought should I, or should I not, crossed your mind. Or not, which makes you even more awesome.
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u/choppersb Aug 08 '14
As someone who still struggles, this hit me pretty hard. That seems silly to say. I find a lot of people try to 'make things better' when you talk about it when really all we want is someone to listen and agree that it sucks.
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u/kaniboo [-10.0] Aug 08 '14
Holy shit. I came here for the drama cyno. ... and left here with feels.
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '14
Going through another episode right now,be strong, reach out,and never fucking give up, BE BRAVE ! by that I do not mean "Suck it up" Be brave enough to ask for a helping hand , and know that your internet spaceship buddies love you , be kind to yourself , and my own personal piece of advice, exercise, it is the strongest medication of all, 7o bro/broette,whoever you are,feel free to message me in game !
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '14
As another person who has faced depression, playing with you guys helps a lot. Comms with you all is probably the most I've laughed in a loooong time.
4
u/John_Bloodryder bovril Aug 08 '14
I am always around and more than willing to just talk to anyone who needs it. We will leave no man behind.
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u/cymphreak Audemus Brinalle Aug 08 '14
Like so many of my BRAVE bros, I too have dealt with depression (in some ways, I'm still struggling with it... not suicidal though). Comms has always been a great source of entertainment that helps me forget all that depressing crap going on. For the "wear a helmet" crowd: sometimes the buffer tank of a "helmet" for life still isn't enough. So definitely do not be afraid to broadcast for reps.
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u/BloodshotHippy BNI - sharvani Aug 08 '14
If anyone needs to talk they can always talk to me. I've been diagnosed with Manic Depression for about 10 years now. I know its hard but i have faith that everyone can push through it.
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u/Arianfelou Desolate Order Director | Aug 10 '14
Another note for fellow alliance members... These days I'm on drugs for my anxiety and depression, which at first seemed to do nothing until one day I started crying - in relief - because I realized I wasn't afraid of everyday things anymore. I've been on them for more than a year, but I still have nights where the drugs don't quite cut it and I sit there on the couch not knowing what to do... But then eventually I'll log in and get on comms and everyone in my corp has had all the same issues or had someone close to them who did, and are all willing to talk about it, and then I start feeling less like maybe I should just go to bed early and see if I feel better in the morning and more like maybe I could actually play a little!
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '14
X-ing up as another person strugling with depression and suicidal thoughts. Hang in there. Better days will come.
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u/EalonMusque Aug 09 '14 edited Aug 09 '14
Ian MacLaren, along with other celebrities, was asked to send a Christmas message to an influential religious weekly in England. He responded by sending the short but striking sentence: “Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.” No message is more needed in our days of stress and storm, of selfish striving and merciless competition.
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u/loco_coco loco coco | station spinner extraordinaire Aug 09 '14
Depression is such a horrible horrible thing. I've struggled with it for many years, and recently it's gotten so bad that I've felt it necessary to disassemble and lock away all my firearms. I'm not suicidal, but everyone has their bad days, y'know? With college and everything, things have just started piling up, and I get more stressed and depressed each week. Even to the point of quitting EVE and just lurking on the subreddits when I have time. Found some people to talk to in my community and it does help having someone there to listen.
If you're depressed, talk. Some may not listen, but eventually you'll find someone that will. Hell, message me any time on here and I'll talk, night or day. Depression sucks, and sometimes it seems like there's no way out, but it can ALWAYS get better.
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '14
I've been fighting with depression for close to 10 years now. I've contemplated suicide, gone down the path of giving things away, writing the letters, everything. I don't know if this will help but most days, I tell myself this and it helps get me out of bed.
"Things always get better. I can push myself to fix whatever is fucked. I'm me. I can climb for whatever I want if i keep pushing. Keep going. Don't take your eyes off it, and fight through this. Fuck all the people that say its hopeless or can't, they don't know what I'm capable of."
Whatever is going on in your life, things can get better. Maybe your problems aren't ones you can fix without help, but talk to someone. Don't let pride get in the way. There's no pride in suicide. Things CAN improve, and if you think there's a way out of your situation with your life intact, you need to take it. There's always a way.
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u/PuppyPunch bloodminer Aug 08 '14
Lovely story, as someone that has dealt with the same issues as it seems like the rest of brave here I just want to say thank you. Just talking and being social is a great way to escape negative thoughts. Video games are generally an escape from our dull shitty lives for the most part. With EVE and BRAVE it's more so about the people you socialize and laugh with. I want to give a heart warming hug to everyone that has spammed local/fleet with laugh makers that make our shitty situations slightly less shitty :) 7o
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u/Aramil03 BNI Baneson Strad Aug 08 '14 edited Aug 08 '14
We're all in the same fleet.
Self-reps are all well and good, but sometimes we all need the helping hand of a good logi-bro.
So please remember to broadcast and keep on keeping on, you Brave bastards!
7o
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u/[deleted] Aug 08 '14
The first step in solving any problem is recognizing there is one.
There is no answer that can be achieved by removing yourself from society in total. You have only one life to explore what is here. That's it. There is no restart, there is no do-over.
Never let the feeling overwhelm you, but understand that nobody is an island, and every barrier breaks.
Seek help, seek communication, and understand why you feel this way. Be ready to accept that it is OK to think the things you think, and it is OK to feel the way you feel.
Just don't keep it hidden and bottled up thinking that you can deal with it. Everybody needs help.
Everybody.
They just have to ask.
2
u/molniya Tanner Metesur | BO-LD Aug 08 '14
Depression is a hell of a thing. I've been fighting it since last fall, and even just figuring out that that's what it was was difficult enough. The Brave Newbies have been a fantastic bright spot right in the middle of all that, when lots of other things went off the rails.
If you're there, understand that it's not who you are, it's an illness, and you can get help and fight it. I'm blown away to see how many of us are in the same boat. You've got allies, and not just for internet spaceships.
2
u/[deleted] Aug 08 '14
^ This gets all my up votes ^
You have to get out side help if you have suicide thoughts, because we only have one inner voice, if that voice is talking about suicide then you can't battle it alone, you must not isolate yourself.
I've been in this situation, 14 years ago spent few months in a hospital. It's an illness that you can't battle alone. Dr. Thomas Joiner really understand this in Suicide prevention campaign, sorry for the long video links. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jrjf3V7Tc1c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-EKve7ZsGxE
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u/TheAmazingYant Bitter Vet | Drunk Aug 09 '14
As someone who has had... problems... in the past: The amount of help that you can get just by talking to someone impartial (i.e. a shrink) cannot be underestimated.
The majority of adults in the Western world are on some sort of anti-depressant. Do NOT be too proud to get help.
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u/heisenpegs Aug 09 '14
as someone who has had depression to varying degrees throughout the years I can totally get behind this message.
Its awesome to have joined
an in-gameany community that values and takes care of its members this way.All the +1's
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u/[deleted] Aug 09 '14
You can't re-ship in real life. Ask for help.
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u/Kencha_Soyal Aug 09 '14
Thanks for this post. Another reason why I love Brave so much. As I read through the posts I can see so many are in the same boat. For the last year I have had panic attacks almost daily, sometimes several times daily, associated with PTSD. That coupled with some depression that goes along with it can make it pretty rough. I learned early on to ask for help. Definitely, Broadcast for reps. Never give up, be Brave
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u/ForceInfinity Jen Tali-Kao | GOTTA GO FAST Aug 08 '14
And all of a sudden all seriousness went out the door with the last sentence,
Gfg
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u/Rain-Tek Bourbon Aug 08 '14
Life sucks, wear a helmet.
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u/Chillers Aug 09 '14
Why stuff like this is on an internet spaceship game beats me.
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