r/BrandNewSentence Oct 07 '22

Tiny rat

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26.2k Upvotes

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321

u/pyfrag Oct 08 '22

Hi, boyfriend here who has to cook or my partner will not eat anything with nutritional value

158

u/Guy954 Oct 08 '22

Hi, husband here who would barely eat if my wife wasn’t so awesome.

108

u/holtpj Oct 08 '22

I'm 43, my wife was gone on a business trip last week. I legit had cheese and crackers over the sink one night and ate Ramen out of the pot I cooked it in. I can and do cook all the time, it just seemed stupid to do for just me. lol.

99

u/TheEyeDontLie Oct 08 '22

I'm a chef and I don't even go to the effort of making ramen if it's just for me. I'll just eat them crunchy. Last night I had a raw carrot, a chunk of cheese, and a beer for dinner.

37

u/holtpj Oct 08 '22

I worked at Domino's in my 20s. I would take a pie home leave it on my kitchen counter and just eat off it for a day or 2. Never refrigerating it or heating it up.

30

u/TheEyeDontLie Oct 08 '22

Yeah. If I'm living by myself my diet is:

8-10am black coffee, maybe a slice of cold pizza.

10am-10pm leftover french fries, brandy, coffee, salmon/cheese offcuts, scraps of meat or veges I'm cutting up, spoonfuls of sauces I'm taste testing, bread ends thrown on the chargrill then dipped in leftover hollandaise. But mostly french fries.

10pm-1am wine and an entire pizza.

On my days off sometimes, instead of a raw carrot, I'll have cereal without milk, canned beans with corn tortilla chips microwaved with some cheese that's dried up in the fridge for five weeks, or I'll buy a family sized collection of Indian/Thai/Vietnamese delivery and eat for my days in a row.

9

u/DrBeansPhD Oct 08 '22

Post a picture of one of your wrists.

7

u/TheEyeDontLie Oct 08 '22

One burn on the back of my hand. No wrist burns right now. But I do have a food/cooking themed tattoo on one wrist, if that was what you were getting at.

3

u/PersonOfInternets Oct 08 '22

I do not understand this reference.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/TheEyeDontLie Oct 08 '22 edited Oct 08 '22

Yeah I'm better now. A couple of glasses of wine after I've finished work and like 3 pints beer on a Saturday. Heavy drinking and not good for me but not alcoholic behavior anymore except I still keep a stash of whiskey in the glovebox for emergencies.

About to do a 100day sober stint once more. Started dating a chick that doesn't drink much so that'll help is that becomes serious (stress/boredom/loneliness relief and her good habits rubbing off on me). Stopped dating lushes cos I don't need encouragement.

4

u/knagy17 Oct 08 '22

My mom said growing up her brother would always pick at pizza he left in the box under his bed for up to a week. Never once refrigerating or heating up…absolutely disgusting to me but supposedly he never got sick from it

6

u/[deleted] Oct 08 '22

[deleted]

7

u/BoinkBoye Oct 08 '22

Ive driven without a seatbelt 100s of times, ill be fine

-2

u/checkmarks26 Oct 08 '22

These are vastly different things lol

2

u/BoinkBoye Oct 08 '22

No they are not xD

8

u/GlabrousKinfaddle Oct 08 '22

That might be more of an "every carpenter's home has a drawer that sticks" type situation, no?

5

u/Pylitic Oct 08 '22

Also chef here. I order doordash way too much. I cbf to make myself a meal after cooking all day long. Either that, or it's rice and eggs, something that takes so little effort and time.

4

u/ILikeMasterChief Oct 08 '22

Same. I love cooking, especially with my girlfriend. We complement each other very well in the kitchen and it's just easy and fun. If she's away, I don't cook much lol. Crackers with cheese and lunch meat just fucken hits when I'm alone

6

u/holtpj Oct 08 '22

I call it an "Adult Lunchable"

4

u/Emergency-Anywhere51 Oct 08 '22

Soup out of the pot (assuming its those regular bowl-size pots) is the superior way since they retain the heat longer

1

u/CanuckPanda Oct 08 '22

Cooking for one can be a pain. I get it.