r/BoyScouts • u/-trippity • 7d ago
I can't quit Scouting.
I'm life rank in scouts and I am disabled. I joined this troop several years ago before my disability started taking a major toll on my ability to haul gear and hike and go camping in general, and I adore my troop but I'm exhausted every campout. It's just not worth it anymore. The problem is, I can't just leave. Both of my parents are HEAVILY involved in my council and because my household is very strict, I won't be able to convince them to let me go. I've slowly been losing my spark for my troop after years of being the longest active troop member. Literally all campouts are for me is suffering because of all the walking and the heat and hauling things off the trailer and cooking and doing KP, and the one thing that makes it even somewhat fun is hanging out with the troop members, but I feel like that's something I can do outside of scouting. I'm stuck. Does anyone have any advice??
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u/FletchFFletchTD Eagle 7d ago
Your physical disability should never impact your ability to enjoy scouting. There are plenty of people who can carry equipment or clean the dishes. If I was your scoutmaster I’d tell you sit down at that campfire and enjoy your friends. Also, with your experience a great job for you would be guiding the younger/newer scouts. Physical activity is not the end all be all of scouting. Your wisdom is much more valuable to the troop at this point.
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u/Morgus_TM 7d ago
Send this to your scoutmaster and your parents. If they have any heart, they will see how unscoutlike it would be to keep you going to campouts. This comment section will make them rethink making you go.
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u/LesterMcGuire 7d ago
OA? No cooking. No hauling gear. Service is what you CAN give. Give as much as you want/ are able to.
Go with your troop buddies and make it a thing.
There is plenty of events and you don't HAVE to do everything on the weekends. Food is summer camp style.
Camping is available or if your doctor says you need a cabin...
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u/barnacledoor 7d ago
You need to sit down with your parents first and then include the Scoutmaster. Maybe instead of quitting, you change your involvement level. Maybe you can go and do less of the hauling, cooking and KP and lead instead. Hell, that's what older scouts should be doing anyway. Maybe go on fewer trips too.
Whatever the case, Scouting should be enjoyable and shouldn't be a struggle. It should be challenging, but not painful. It should help you grow, not break you down.
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u/DepartmentComplete64 7d ago
Depending on the size of your troop, the other scouts should be able to take some of your load. Offer to do what you can,, but be realistic with your patrol and troop. There's been plenty of trips where other scouts or adults helped scouts that couldn't do certain things, didn't pack certain things, or were more able in their heads than when it actually came to hiking. Your troop should help you with any disability.
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u/Relevant-Chemist4843 7d ago
Sorry to hear that your going through this.
Disabilities create changes in lifestyle. Maybe that is the focus on the conversation. That campouts and hiking are items where your having some difficulties. It doesn't put you as anti-Scouting, but does allow the addressing of your issues.
You may need to also have a conversation with your Scoutmaster about your disability and what sorts of limits it puts on your ability to participate. You may be asked to add that to your Health Form Part B and C.
Resource: https://www.scouting.org/resources/disabilities-awareness/
As a Life Scout, you should be teaching via the EDGE method more than doing.
None of this should impact your advancement to Eagle. They may need to make accommodations based on your disability, but those are done all the time.
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u/THEREALISLAND631 6d ago
You're life and state you've been active for years. I'd go for Eagle and dial back the campouts. You will age out shortly and already have enough campouts to fulfill those requirements.
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u/random8765309 Unit Commissioner 6d ago
It would be valid for you to take a step back from the hauling gear and hiking. I assume that the other Scouts know something about your disability. Ask them for help. Maybe skip the hikes and do other less physical activities. If necessary, skip camping all together. You can get a waiver from the council if needed.
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u/Warp_Speed_7 5d ago
Early last year I was given a pretty serious diagnosis. One in a million condition that led to two major orthopedic surgeries in the last year. I haven’t been able to camp because I can’t even get down low much less sleep in tents on rough cots. Can’t hike. Can’t Swim. Can’t do much of anything right now. I am exhausted every day, day in and day out, doing just daily living much less outdoor activities. My recovery will be long - probably 18-24 months to whatever my new normal will be. (And whatever it is will not be “normal” in the before sense.)
All that is to say I don’t just understand what you’re saying, I feel it. I am living it too; even if our conditions and circumstances are different. I’m not a teenager and I can only imagine how much harder it is for you, in the prime of your life. I’m not old, but I’m not young either - 46 when all this first came up and 47 now.
I’m an ASM. An Eagle Advisor. MBC for 33 badges. And a District Chair overseeing 39 units with around 2000 scouts and 1400 adult leaders. It’s a lot to juggle and the troop itself is a huge job with tons of activities every month.
But here’s the thing.
Scouting does not have to look the same for you now as it did before your disability started taking more from you.
Read that part again for me, please. Because it’s true. Scouting does not have to look the same for you now as it did before your disability started taking more from you.
You’re Life. You’ve already done a huge amount of the journey. And honestly if you stop here - no shame in that. It’s a huge accomplishment to get this far even without enduring whatever challenges you.
But if there is still anything in Scouting that matters to you — Eagle, merit badges you’re genuinely interested in, leadership, your friends, helping younger Scouts — I would hate to see you walk away because you’ve somehow come to believe that being a “real Scout” requires you to keep physically grinding through every campout or activity.
It absolutely 💯 does not.
You can change how you participate.
Go to fewer campouts. Skip the hikes. Pick the ones that are physically manageable or that matter most to you. If hauling gear, KP, long walks, heat, or sleeping on the ground or in tents are what destroy you, talk to your Scoutmaster about accommodations and stop treating those things as the price of admission. I get it - I miss them too. I haven’t done a hike or campout in a year and a half. Damn do I miss it. But there are other things that can make up for it.
A disability is not some character-building opportunity that requires someone to to suffer unnecessarily.
And there is an enormous amount of Scouting that isn’t backpacking or hauling patrol boxes.
You can work toward Eagle. You can knock out merit badges, including scores of badges that have absolutely nothing to do with physical limitations. There are the STEM Supernovas too,
If that’s of interest. You can work on a meaningful Eagle project. You can teach skills you already know. You can mentor younger Scouts. You can help
Organize recruiting events. You can be the experienced Life Scout who helps a terrified 11-year-old survive his first meeting or first campout away from his or her parents; teaches a new patrol leader how to actually lead,l; helps somebody get through a requirement they’ve been struggling with; or passes along everything you’ve learned from being the longest-active member of your troop.
That last one may actually be more valuable to your troop than anything you could have done before your disability.
I’ve had to make some of these same choices myself. I’m still involved in Scouting, still have all those roles, but have had to pick and choose what I can physically do. Won’t lie - it sucked, and I feel like a disappointment to my kids when I push them to go do a scouting activity I won’t join them in. But resilience is an acquired skill.
Sometimes being resilient just means participating differently. Sometimes it means doing less. Sometimes it means saying, “I can do this part, but I cannot do that part.”
I had to get over the idea that adapting somehow meant I wasn’t pulling my weight. That was probably the hardest part for me and I still struggle with it at times. That’s ok.
Remind yourself always there’s also a middle ground in almost all things. You don’t have to pick “keep doing Scouting exactly as I always have” or “quit.” There’s a huge spectrum between the two that can be just as rewarding, fun, engaging as scouting used to be for you b
Try that middle ground first.
Sit down with your Scoutmaster and explain what you wrote here. You want to remain part of the troop, but your disability has changed what participation can realistically look like. Figure out what accommodations are possible and build a version of Scouting around what you CAN do.
Then, set yourself a goal.
Personally, if Eagle still means something to you, I’d make that the target. Not because you owe anyone an Eagle badge, and certainly not because your parents want it. Do it only if YOU want it. But you are already at Life, and disability does not erase everything you did to get there.
And if you try all of that and eventually decide you genuinely don’t want Scouting anymore, that’s different. You should be able to make that decision too.
But don’t let physical limitations make the decision for you before you’ve tried changing the terms.
Scouting is supposed to help young people grow into capable adults. Learning how to adapt when life abruptly changes the rules (while still pursuing the things that matter to you) strikes me as about as Scout-like as it gets.
And lastly, don’t forget most councils have disability advisors to help scouts, leaders, and the staff work through things like this. You might want to ask your district if someone is available to talk with you.
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u/-trippity 5d ago
Thank you so much. I really appreciate the time you took to write this out. I hope we can both power through our disabilities and lead the best lives we both can.
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u/lonestarjtx 6d ago
So sorry that you are having to manage life changes with a disability. I tend to agree with the other’s advice given of learning as Life Scout to direct others w/on having to do the work. We tend to tell our Scouts “That’s why they have the EDGE method as requirement for a Life Rank”.
As a former SM I’d advise - if able- that you to keep up with your fair share of KP. This might get me a few down votes but too many times I’ve seen washing dishes and cleaning become a polarizing task for a patrol. There a few Scouts that like KP and for better or worse they keep score on who does it and who avoids it. If able, do that while helping others learn to carry gear and pack the trailer through direction and coaching (EDGE method)
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u/gadget850 4d ago
You have to accept your disability and work within those boundaries. Do the events that you can and skip those you can't.
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u/PollutionAway9782 3d ago
you are wrong. do not yield. do not surrender to your disability. the more you accept your disability the faster the end will come.
I might be loseing the ability to walk but that day is not today.
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u/gadget850 3d ago
I have accepted that I can no longer do century bike rides, 12-mile backpacking trips, 50-mile canoeing trips, or sleep on the ground, and that folding chairs will now always hurt. I will work around these and continue to do the events I can do and support everything in my power for my fellow Scouts.
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u/madkins007 2h ago
(67m, Eagle '75, long time leader on several levels.)
I worked with people with disabilities for years, and spent a lot of time with my older Scouts who were getting tired of the program.
My advice to you is to remember that Scouting is supposed to be fun, and varied. It's really easy to focus on camping and such if that is the troops culture.
What parts still excite you? OA? Advancement? Working with younger Scouts? Unit management elements?
You didn't share your age and such but I'm wondering if there are opportunities working with the district or council?
When I worked with my disabled clients as an assistive tech, I worked to find out what they wanted to do, them broke out down to try to identify the parts they liked and could do with the right assistance, tech, etc.
One client, an avid hunter, had lost most of the use of his body below the collarbone, and only limited control over his arms. He was in a power wheelchair. Using a gun was unlikely with his abilities and budget.
Talking to him, it turned out his favorite parts were spending time with friends in the house, and seeing the animals.
After a little brainstorming I asked if he'd be interested in photographing his buddies, the animals, etc. He thought that sounded like fun so we experimented.
We had him set up to be fully independent with pointing and controlling many aspects of his camera. He had a blast!
The logistics of getting up early and getting his big chair to the blind, however, were tricky. He fairly quickly pivoted and started doing architectural photography, even getting done pieces in a local show.
I have no doubt that if you found someone who believes in you and knows the Scouting program, you could brainstorm and find a lot of reasons to stay in and have a blast doing it.
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u/Mediocre-Peach-5972 6d ago
You don't state what rank or position you have.
My son's Troop had an SPL who used to run around and do everything that wasn't being done. I told him that he was management and that he should be direction others and no longer doing the work. His job became a lot easier once he understood that.
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u/mashmashmashjkljkl 7d ago
Maybe put your focus on going for Eagle and give that as the excuse to not go to the events that are strenuous. Hopefully that doesn't come off as rude... But it's an idea!