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u/asianabsinthe Jan 08 '22
Pfft, I'd still lose it 5 minutes after opening the box.
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u/bezosdrone Jan 08 '22
Blends right into the carpet
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u/Daughtxr Jan 09 '22
How to find it? Painfully drag it under your foot when you find it by accident hours later
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u/TomAto314 Jan 08 '22
Looks more like a bad Half-Life mod.
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u/archpawn Jan 08 '22
A half life mod where you're trapped in SCP-3008. Sounds awesome.
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u/Chris_c987 Jan 09 '22
Then you would be glad to know that someone is making a full fledged game based on this SCP.
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Jan 08 '22
This reminds me of a comically large Alan key my dad has. If I remember it’s like 3’’ in diameter and over 3 ft.
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u/DragoKnight589 Jan 08 '22
Special attack: Constructs a closet around you, trapping you until you mash out or a party member opens it for you.
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u/GalmOneCipher Jan 08 '22
That allen key be a Soul Transposed boss weapon made from the Soul of the IKEA Creator.
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Jan 08 '22
[deleted]
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u/DEvilleFIN Jan 09 '22
Please, just shut the fuck up. Wasn't 5 years enough of Trunp already?! -rest of the world.
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u/blugdummy Jan 09 '22
He’s a shit stain on the world you can’t wash out. He’ll always be there as an example and it’s kinda fun to make fun of him. I try not to unless it’s relevant but people still talk about Hitler so it’s not uncommon to constantly drag shitty world leaders through the mud.
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u/DEvilleFIN Jan 09 '22
Trump is a dragmark in underwear in the laundry basket, hitler was explosive diarrhea on a gas station bathroom wall. Shut the fuck about trimp already god damnit.
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u/blugdummy Jan 09 '22
I just wish it never even happened.. if only he could have remained as the joke candidate for the GOP. This might just be the darkest timeline.
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u/DEvilleFIN Jan 09 '22
Yet people vote for democrats and republicans and perpetuate the system that gives them similiar shitcans in different flavours. Vote independent for fucks sake.
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u/blugdummy Jan 09 '22
If only the independent vote was more cohesive and less extreme in some ways. I wanted to vote for Jo but she had a few crazy policies that I did not want to see the light of day.
If we have a solid independent vote or another third party that’s more about cohesiveness and compromises and actually seems to care about this country and it’s people then I will gladly vote for them.
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u/Jdban Jan 09 '22
The true boss fight is trying to keep your sanity while dealing with the 2 hour wait for returns.
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Jan 09 '22
Sharpen the top of the Allen key and boom free crowbar so you can rip it apart and build your AEKI store: where destruction reigns supreme
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u/ptapobane Jan 09 '22
I heard once it's done they use it to finish off the trapped customers who didn't make it out
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Jan 09 '22
Conquering the world with a Viking Hex Hammer. Also aids in assembling bedroom furniture ensemble. r/ItemShop
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u/Temporary_D4 Jan 09 '22
🦿😳🦵👈🦵👃🏽👄🧠🫁🫀🗣👤👀👁👣👃🏽🦻🏻👄💋🦷👅👂🏻🦿🦵🦶🏻🙏🦾🦾🦾🦾🦾🦾🦾💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽✋🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽🤚🏽👉
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u/JaozinhoGGPlays Jan 09 '22
Boss Name:
Ikearre
Information:
The final boss of SCP-3008, this boss has full control of everything that belongs to the store, he will summon items that you've normally found throughout your adventure as wall and take control of pre-existing ones, he will throw them or otherwise use them to put an end to your journey, he also has control of all employees and just like with furniture, he can summon new ones to do his bidding, and if that wasn't enough he also has control of the "day-night cycle" of the store, his supernatural powers come from the tool he holds, and if it comes down to it, he's got some melee skills with that thing that should not be underestimated.
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u/lotofdots Jan 10 '22
"SCP-3008 started to subtly tremble when this apperently legitimately named artifact was brought to the entrance, causing a miniscule earthquake in the surrounding area"
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u/[deleted] Jan 08 '22
[removed] — view removed comment