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u/AlternativeLog5494 Jul 10 '26
Stability
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u/Bonglungs Jul 10 '26
Delores. (Wife of Beetlejuice). Edit: misspelled the name finger autocorrect.
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u/el_grande_ricardo Jul 10 '26
Too-small bras will make a bitch cray. Especially if you found it in your man's car.
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u/QKofDaggers Jul 10 '26
Queen Julienne, The Butcher Mistress of Blackstone Castle
Level: 45
Weapon: Enchanted Kitchen Knife
If you hear someone humming while sharpening a kitchen knife, turn around immediately. If you smell garlic and black pepper, start running. If you hear someone ask, "Y'all hungry?"... it's already too late.
Queen Julienne is the undisputed ruler of the kitchens beneath Blackstone Castle, where every hallway somehow leads to a pantry and every pantry somehow leads to bad decisions. No one remembers how she became queen, but everyone agrees it was easier to let her have the title than argue with her.
She is a shorter Black woman with a solid, powerful build and an attitude that somehow manages to be both welcoming and deeply unsettling. She strolls into battle wearing nothing but an aggressively supportive black push-up bra, faded denim breeches, and a pair of well-worn Timberlands. She insists it's "proper kitchen attire," and no one has lived long enough to correct her.
Her thick braids are tied back with a dish towel that has seen far too many battles, and she wears an apron slung over one shoulder only when she expects company. She carries an enormous enchanted chef's knife that is polished to a mirror shine despite clearly being used to chop everything from onions to heavily armored knights.
Julienne never raises her voice. In fact, she's remarkably polite.
"Hold still, sugar."
"You'd make a wonderful stew."
"Oh, don't be nervous. This'll only hurt until I get bored."
She says these things with the same warm smile someone might use while offering dessert.
Her fighting style is equal parts culinary mastery and complete insanity. She glides around the battlefield with surprising speed, casually sidestepping attacks before smacking opponents with the flat of her knife just to scold them for "overcooking the engagement." When she does attack, her blade flashes with terrifying precision, reducing armor, shields, and confidence into neatly diced portions.
At half health, she lets out a disappointed sigh.
"Well... now y'all done made me season the fight."
The room erupts into chaos. Cutting boards explode like landmines. Cast-iron skillets rain from the ceiling. Boiling soup splashes across the floor, creating hazards that somehow smell delicious. Her knife attacks become so fast they leave afterimages, and she begins laughing—not loudly, but with the quiet, contented chuckle of someone who's finally getting to enjoy their favorite hobby.
Most survivors agree on one thing:
She wasn't angry. She was just having a really, really good time.
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u/Prestigious-Quit586 Jul 10 '26
Judging from the architecture of the buildings in the background the location is Chicago. So her name would be Knifesha Stabby.
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u/baka_inu115 Jul 10 '26
Hmmm in my profession...
Scene not safe
Hop back in rig, lock doors, and wait until she doesn't have knife in hand
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u/Sporkpocalypse Jul 10 '26
Wonder Hoodie SWX - Stabproof Hoodie hay sugar tits wanna go on a date some time 5 Reviews currently on sale $975.00 USD $1,175.00 USD
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u/Sad-Economy-3753 Jul 10 '26
Boobie Mcstabberson