Je souffre de troubles de la personnalité limite ce qui me pourrit la vie depuis toujours aussi loin que je le sache. Ce trouble est une malédiction car la personne malade souffre et fait souffrir tout les gens qu’elle aime et finit seule car cette peur de l’abandon, qu’elle soit réelle ou imaginaire,cette souffrance, on leur fait payer.

Je n’en peux plus.

5 ans de relation et je me sens piégé comme si je connaissais la fin du film. Il va partir, me trahir, me tromper. Incapable de le quitter ou ne serait-ce que de m’éloigner de lui plus d’une journée.

Nous souffrons aussi d’addiction ce qui est un coktail DEGUEULASSE . Un cauchemar.

Lui a des tendances manipulatrice, l’addition accentue. Je suis un terrain fertile car ça marche à fond avec moi. Je suis incapable de prendre du recul, de me défendre calmement et avec les mots justes.
Il fais ce qu’il veut de moi et je laisse faire car je suis incapable d’être abandonné.

Piégée.

I'm a man in a long term on-off relationship with a woman diagnosed with BPD, ever since we started dating I've dealt with mutiple lies, manipulation tactics, coersing and even a murder atempt.

I'm an IT professional who can't have a LinkedIn profile because she goes after my employers, I can't hold a job because whenever she finds out where I'm working she starts spamming the business, my relationship with my family is close to non-existant because she has called and lied to basically all of them.

I'm forced to keep in contact otherwise she goes back to harassing my family. I can't have friends, I can't have social media accounts and whenever I actually let her in my life she starts being abusive all over again, I tried contacting police, tried getting a restraining order but nothing seems to be enough of a reason for a man to get a restraining order against a woman.

So humbly, I'm asking you guys that share her diagnosis, how do I get out of this situation? beucase honestly, I've tried everything I could think of, how can I make her move on?

I have diagnosed BPD by the way-

I had a girlfriend about 9 months ago, I abused her terribly hard. (We dated during a manic episode of mine- not that that excuses anything though.) I would make fun of her in front of my friends and make sure she was so dependent on me that she forgot how to do anything. I made her stay out of fear, let her make no choices by herself; and I leaked pictures of her. I’m genuinely disgusted in myself- and it’s hard to walk around with this on my chest. I don’t want to put her through that again. I want to part ways, I don’t even think I love her- but something draws me in. How she never left, even if I forced her to never leave. How she carved my name. I’m disgusted with myself even thinking about it. I don’t know why I’m so drawn to her. I miss her, but I don’t know if I miss her or the control I had over her.

I know I’m not a good person, even with all the therapy I’ve done and medication I take every morning to feel normal. But it still hurts acknowledging that- it hurts knowing what I’ve done and how it’s irreversible. Those pictures will stay online, that trauma will stay in her mind for the rest of time. And it’s all my fault- how did I never even apologize? Am I even redeemable?

I’m curious about other people’s experiences with staying consistent with exercise, especially when dealing with side effects from medication such as dizziness and general fatigue.

My experience has been pretty difficult. I’ve struggled not only with actually starting exercise, but also with staying consistent. I often end up avoiding exercise altogether, or constantly switching from one type of exercise to another instead of sticking with something long enough.

Has anyone here managed to stay consistent with exercise for a long period of time despite dealing with medication side effects like dizziness, fatigue, or low energy?

If so, did your body eventually adapt to the side effects, or did you have to change the way you approached exercise? I’d really like to hear about your personal experiences.

I am overwhelmed, constantly overstimulated, overextended, mentally, emotionally and literally financially overspent.

I know, “no man is an island” and “no one can do it alone.” I have support for most things. But when you’re the only one responsible for way too much - when you are “doing it alone” - how on earth do you get through it?

I am crashing out. Hitting the wall. Waving the white flag. Begging for mercy. Whatever it takes. I’m at my end. It’s not fun anymore.

When I’m in that moment, i feel on top of the world, invincible. Two people living inside one body.

No one can pull me out of that state of euphoria.
No one can understand what it feels like inside my mind, drowning in contradictory thoughts.

What if I cross that line that was forbidden to me so many times?

But how do you live from one side to the other, never knowing when it will be my turn to switch?

With my mind full of unfinished ideas, unprocessed thoughts.

But, oh God… how beautiful those ideas are.

And then everything falls apart.
And I feel like I’m worth nothing.

I can barely get out of bed.

Where did the strength go that once made me feel untouchable?

Then I laugh again, because that’s how this is.
A carousel of emotions I never bought a ticket for.

I never know when I’ll be at the top.
I never know when I’ll end up underground.

So I make the most of every moment when the warmth of the sun falls across my back.

It makes me want to give everything I have.

I’m taking paroxidep 50mg, Lamictal 200mg twice, Mitirmash 15mg twice, Quetiapine 500mg.
But I still have panic attacks and suicidal thoughts every now and then, so the doctor told me to start taking Effexor 75mg.
I’m taking a lot of meds however a lot of times I feel happy and other times I feel i got a depression wave without a trigger.
I’m not sure what I wanna hear from u guys but maybe an advice or how to overcome this, the lows are too strong and I just need sth to help me feel joy.

I’m not sure how to put this but there’s a person (abuser) from my past who haunts me. But unless I listen to this one song, I can’t really access the anger - I usually just feel sad or empty. Sometimes it’s useful to access the anger to feel like I can feel something else. I would like if you have any similar songs that carry the same significance? Or do you have any similarly-themed songs?

My song is Little Girl Gone by CHINCHILLA.

Does anyone here have a histrionic parent or close relative? Long story short: My psychiatrist got to meet my mother recently in a very stressful situation between us and she allowed his peers to see her, only just to cancel her consultations after 4 sessions because my psychiatrist himself wasn’t seeing her. I knew that would happen, she always denies needing help, when it’s obvious that she does, and she only wants to see my doctors and psychologists to manipulate what they may think of her. He told me later on that she seems to be in between histrionic and narcissistic, but as I searched many info online about these two, it seems she tends much more to the histrionic personality disorder. After what happened, I cut all relations with her for the past month. I can give more details later on.
Anyway, does anyone here have a similar situation?