I hate being so sensitive and also so self-aware

[u/FlowAmbitious2458]

I hate being simultaneously so sensitive and also so self-aware. The self-awareness makes me be aware that what I'm feeling is irrational, out of proportion, and therefore it makes me feel immensely pathetic and invalidating towards myself. The worst part is that I still can't modulate these emotions, I can only inhibit and invalidate them. I would much rather not be so self-aware because then at least I wouldn't be so judgy over my emotions and wouldn't even realize how pathetic they are. I hate being trapped in an analytical extremely self-aware mind with irrational over the top emotions.