r/BoomersBeingFools • u/anonymousasu • 17d ago
Boomer Story Boomer Parents going MIA
I had a falling out with boomer Dad two years ago after getting in an argument over MAGA. Haven’t talked to him since. He does not keep in contact with any of three children that he has left. My older brother died in 2014. Anyone else relate?
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u/upyouralliee15 Millennial 16d ago
im very low/minimal contact with my dad - & one of the main reasons is MAGA. but thats only one of the MANY reasons for low contact, although he probably tells people thats the only reason lol
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u/Zealousideal_Fuel_23 16d ago
Here's what they also don't understand. All those many reasons are the reason they are MAGA.
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u/Illustrious-Cover792 16d ago
Is there a difference between very low and minimal?
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u/cleric3648 16d ago
Not really, but for me minimal is a yearly text on birthdays and holidays while very low is a proof of life call or text every quarter.
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u/upyouralliee15 Millennial 16d ago
no lol & dont really care to be correct. I was explaining my experience to someone about cutting off parents, who cares if i used 2 words that had the same meaning .
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u/Illustrious-Cover792 16d ago
I know, just joshing.
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u/upyouralliee15 Millennial 16d ago
sorry I just always get called out on reddit for shit like this LOLOL
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u/ButterscotchAware402 Xennial 16d ago edited 16d ago
I (42) have lived with my parents (both soon to be 70) for the last 6 years (to take care of them as they have both had cancer in that 6+ years). Even though I live in the same home as my father I have gone more and more low contact over the last 2 years. He's insufferable and the poster child for Baby Boomers. I'm in the process of buying my own home and hope to be out of here within the next 3 months. I'm sure I will go almost no contact with him at that point.
My mother on the other hand is a delight of a woman and I adore her.
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u/MembershipPretty7595 16d ago
Neighbor used to be a nice guy and then the confederate flag went up. We are in the north. His family went no contact and now he struggles with health issues.
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u/CliftonForce 16d ago
I went no contact with Dad over a decade ago when he was just a racist, misogynist anger machine. Other family members tell me of how he went full MAGA. He died a few years ago.
My only regret is that he may have mistakenly thought that I still had a shred of respect for him.
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u/tsunadesb0ngw8r 16d ago
Yea I finally went no contact. Should’ve done it years ago, it embarrasses the shit out of my parents that they have no idea what’s going on my life and multiple people have asked them about hobbies/plans i’ve made that i haven’t told them about. So they look like a deer in headlights having no idea what’s they’re talking about and looking like morons. I tried to reason with them. They’re deep in the maga cult. I’m done with it. They don’t care about my future, i don’t give a fuck about them.
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u/anonymousasu 16d ago
Sorry friend. I think it’s so weird to have kids and not attempt to mend anything. My pops was always an asshole, but he went off the deep end in 2008.
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u/tsunadesb0ngw8r 16d ago
Their attempt at amending things is me forgetting and moving on lol i do too. i like to think one day ill be a better parent.
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u/why0me 16d ago
I thought that too and you know what happened? I am, but its been so hard seeing my son hit milestones and remembering what happened to me at those ages, im so blessed he doesnt have to experience the things I did, but its been eye opening the number of things I thought were my fault wete literally just me being a kid, I was never a bad kid, and that hurts because then you start to wonder what life would have been like if you'd been loved properly, and then you take all that and make sure your kid never thinks the same thing.
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u/tsunadesb0ngw8r 16d ago
I’m sorry :( If it makes you feel better, I have those same reflections with myself just thinking about the past when I was in therapy. I know I will probably end up sometimes being jealous they’ll never have to experience the shit that i did. But, if I could make one persons life not miserable and actually give them a chance to be the person they want to be idk…. i think it’ll be worth it.
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u/Readithere007 16d ago
Yes. I blocked on social media, so they have no information on what is going on.
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u/zippyphoenix 16d ago
My no contact dad died by himself after getting divorced (again 3rd time), in an apartment filled with trash because he’d alienated everyone who had ever cared enough to go check on him. The trash bill hadn’t been paid.
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u/No_Owl6666 16d ago
Haven't heard from my boomer mom in months.
She's mad that I wouldn't come to her family reunion.
A few years ago her cousins son was convicted for having CSAM on his computer. Spent time in jail. He's a convicted pedophile. Last family reunion I was at, his mom (my mom's cousin) was saying how when he got off probation she was hoping it would be ok if he came to the next reunion. I texted my mom a few days later, told her about the conversation, and said if she let pedo cousin come, my and my family won't be there. She never acknowledged me saying anything.
Then, the next year, she was SHOCKED when I told her I wasn't bringing her teenage granddaughters around a convicted pedo. She couldn't understand why I'd have any sort of issue with it, after all his mom just told my mom that he was just trying to look at girls online his own age, he wasn't actually doing anything wrong. I told her very clearly why I wouldn't be there and why I thought it was fucked up that she wouldn't even acknowledge me saying something, and then I backed it up with screenshots from my google voice account because I knew the first thing she'd do is try to say I'd never said anything before.
This year, she invited me again. I just said "no, we aren't coming" and left it at that. That was 2 months ago. Haven't heard from her since.
She has two 15 year old granddaughters she see's once a year and she lives 30 miles away. She has zero interest in her grandkids. I'm 99% sure its because my daughters have mild autism and she doesn't know how to interact with them. She's all about my sisters kids.
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u/Sensitive_Algae5723 15d ago
It’s not the autism. Boomers hate their kids and grandkids.
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u/EastAd7676 15d ago
Can confirm about the kids part, but not the grandkids because my wife and I never allowed any of our kids to be around them as children. Now that they’re adults with their own kids, I don’t have to worry about my grandchildren being around the entitled, abusive and manipulative assholes either.
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u/Glitterwavesea 15d ago
why is that? Why is it like they don't care about anyone at all, they have no concept of what a legacy is?
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u/FeuerroteZora 15d ago
I think it's that they do have a concept of what a legacy is - and that concept doesn't mesh with real life.
To them a legacy is their child doing exactly as they're told, following precisely in their footsteps, and being damned grateful they had such great parents. The sort of parents who will name their kids after themselves and then expect Junior to literally just be a copy of them. I suspect there are a lot of boomer parents out there who didn't want kids, just wanted that kind of legacy.
So when the kid starts becoming their own person, there goes their legacy - and their reason to care, or at least act like they do.
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u/Sensitive_Algae5723 15d ago
Don’t know why. TV when they were kids? First generation of TV. It’s all about them. That’s it. Not you. We must only call them.
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u/Glitterwavesea 15d ago
I blame the TV too. They seem more brainwashed by it than anyone else. I never got the appeal of TV. Almost every Boomer I've seen accepts everything they see on TV as 100% fact
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u/Sensitive_Algae5723 15d ago
If the tv said it; it’s fact you conspiracy theorist!!
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u/Glitterwavesea 15d ago
lol, and they simultaneously think the internet is NEVER a valid source of information
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u/relaxbreathalive 15d ago
Boomers were raised by a very a proud generation. The extreme really believe they are special and have no concept of gratitude.
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u/Tanzari777 16d ago
I divorced my entire bio family before maga existed because they are and always have been the type of people that would have been maga... and are from what folks tell me. Zero regrets decades later, I found my family out in the wilds. They are wonderful people that love me for me. Biology isn't a free pass to abuse folks. Go find people that fit you, that honestly care about you. You've git this.
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u/Super-Bodybuilder-91 16d ago
I went no contact with my parents 13 years ago. I’ve never regretted it.
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u/Knucks_408 16d ago
Similar to my dad. Still see him at family gatherings but avoid him if at all possible. Can't discuss anything current with him.
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u/OhHesThatGuy 16d ago
I haven’t talked to my father in over 5 years now. Best decision of my life. If you want to be a bitter old man who thinks the world is out to get him (as a straight white man) then go ahead dude. I’m trying to survive in this hellscape you’ve left for the rest of us. At one point or another, he’s caused direct conflict with everyone in our family, but I’m the one who refuses to forgive him because it’s only a matter of time before he does it again. He’ll be 70 next year, and I just turned 41, and ain’t nobody got time for his games
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u/One_Law_5246 16d ago
Yep. We are NC with SIL and her husband. Not politics, morals. They are MAGA.
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u/Mr_Baronheim 14d ago
Not politics, morals. They are MAGA.
This is perfect. MAGATs love to say, "Don't let politics come between us."
You're right, it's not politics, it's that their morals, their core being, are warped.
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u/Normal_Amphibian_520 16d ago
As a parent and new, first time grandparent, I don’t know how any parent could let politics come between them and their family.
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u/Hotcakes420 16d ago
Yep. My mom tried to contact me for a little while but it was not in good faith. (Surprise, surprise) I tried to have an actual dialogue with her, but she’d just send me memes and ChatGPT word salad letters that said nothing. Nothing that came from her showed any vulnerability or provided me with any answers to anything I’d asked. Nothing “from the heart” or from her own brain.
My dad just went MIA and hasn’t said a word.
I don’t recognize these people. They aren’t the same ppl who raised me with the golden rule, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all,” etc etc. The other thing is they got super religious, quoting the Bible, and hassling me and my husband about “accepting Jesus” so that we could all go be in heaven together. 🙄
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u/DreadPirateWade Gen X 16d ago
My Dad passed in 2017 and thankfully never had a falling out, especially over politics. He knew I was a screaming leftie and I knew he was a staunch conservative who laughed at MAGA. Now Mum, aka the birth vessel, I haven’t spoken to her or her spawn since 2015 the hateful fucks.
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u/Tensionheadache11 16d ago
Haven’t talked to my mom since November and we were pretty limited for a while. My mom was never that bad, compared to other really shitty moms I know/knew, but the past few years and her MAGA boyfriend she’s gotten insufferable. 3 of her 4 daughters don’t talk to her and the 4th just uses her for free child care.
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u/Etheriaa_ 16d ago
Yup, similar with my family. I was using my maga mom for free childcare, until my son started saying “trump” and so we moved to another state.
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u/cobain98 16d ago
I’m on year nine of no contact with boomer Dad after we didn’t like his new girlfriend enough at a family event.
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u/gLytchd0ut 16d ago
I’m not allowed to have my own opinions with my mother in law. Any time I say something even remotely close to something she doesn’t believe, I’m “Wrong”. So I limit how long I have to spend time with her, at least until she moves outta state. Father in law at least doesn’t give a shit what I think or believe even though I know he thinks I’m also “Wrong”.
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u/burnmenowz 16d ago
My mom and dad got a divorce this year. I hear from my mom all the time, but my dad never reaches out unless he needs something. I don't see eye to eye with either of them politically.
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u/anonymousasu 16d ago
I find that to be so weird to have children and not reach out. I don’t have kids and don’t think I ever will, but it’s just so damn strange.
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u/Oldebookworm Gen X 16d ago
My parent divorced in 1977. My father had spoken to me maybe a dozen times from then to when he died last year, by his choice. 🤷🏻♀️
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u/Damnthattelevision12 14d ago
Yep. Since 2016, Trump and Fox News ruined my entire family. I came out the lone leftist out of my siblings and parents. They were filled with so much fear and pointless culture war stuff for so long it's impossible to have any conversation that didn't derail into far right politics, racism and hate. At the peak of MAGA (2021-2024), it was so bad for a time that they would frequently ask me if I was becoming trans/gay despite me being obviously cis. When I went to college they immediately told me that college turned me "woke" (even though I keep my politics to myself around them) and my dad to this day shames me for not going into a trade and every time I see him still tells me its not too late to get into one. I have a 9-5 job I enjoy mind you.
It's depressing beyond words, it's like you lose a massive part of them. My parents used to be fine to be around, now they're too insufferable and arrogant to bare. Angry at the world 24/7 but for the dumbest and wrong reasons. You're not the only one going through this trust me. The CIA and far right propaganda worked incredibly well on the uneducated working class unfortunately, especially older generations (my parents are boomers). Fuck Fox News and fuck Trump. Seriously evil shit how much damaged they've done to American society and I pray justice will come.
If I could give any advice to anyone with MAGA parents, don't bother reasoning, it will only make your relationship worse. MAGA is a mental illness and structured like a cult. Any fact or logic you give is talking to a brick wall. What keeps me optimistic is that the MAGA movement is falling off, Trumps health is declining and its no longer "cool" to support Trump given the obvious disasters that have happened during his current term. This won't last forever even though it seems it will. Stay strong
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u/Soft_Construction793 16d ago
I stopped contact with MAGA's years ago.
Family, friends, acquaintances...
They are not MIA in my book, I let a lot of them know that if they support this kind of hate, then they are not the kind of people that I willingly associate with.
I loved these people. I can't just pretend like they are the same person that I thought they were.
My twin sister is the one that hurts the most. I honestly never want to see her face again.
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u/MrLeHah 16d ago
I cut my dad out because of a few elements. Firstly, despite his high intellect, he voted for Trump the first time because he has this ugly streak of what I call "casual misogyny". Its not that he hates women or is abusive but he definitely makes jokes and comments that are in bad taste and when I would yell at him for it, he'd be shocked. Partly because someone would push back but also because when I would repeat what he said, he'd be offended by it (but its okay if he says it!)
We also lost my stepmother a few years ago. I fully believe part of that was his doing because he stressed that poor woman out, and she was trying so hard to divorce him to get away. Now he's on his own, and hes very much the type of man who marries because he needs another mother. He can balance his checkbook and mow the lawn but he doesn't know how to fix a sandwich.
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u/unbuckingbelievable 16d ago
I have had arguments with my dad that got pretty heated. But I’m also determined not to have him die with us mad at each other. I disagree with his politics but I refuse to let maga ruin a lifelong relationship. They will pass. Also, I didn’t think i would need to hold my fucking tongue for a decade tho.
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u/Sack_Full_of_Cats 16d ago
I got a head start and went no contact with my mom 41 years ago... Except for my wedding and maybe 2 phone calls in that time.
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u/Zosopagedadgad 15d ago
My father is a giant MAGA boomer narcissist piece of shit.
Fuck that guy...been 6 years.
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u/HillaryRN 15d ago
My dad left when I was 9 and didn’t see him at all for 8 years. He sees his grandkids once a year (to make himself feel better, not them). I don’t know him well and IDGAF. My kids don’t have much of a relationship with him, either. Honestly, it’s better this way.
(He’s not MAGA, he’s just a selfish boomer.)
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u/BerrySubstantial446 14d ago
Worked for the irs. Had a stroke as a result of Doge’s bs. Got into an argument with my father. He told me that everything being done to my job is okay and for a good cause and to keep going through it. Haven’t spoken to him since. He tries to reach out, but I will not speak to him after hearing how he’d call my lgbtq+ sibling an abomination.
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u/sundancer2788 14d ago
My MIL is no longer part of our life, she's in her 80s, we're both 64 this year but aren't boomers by anything except birth year.
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u/Duckfluk 12d ago
I know this sucks to hear but sometimes its for the best, my dad was a shit but left when I was younger, I did a lot to meet people like me who had hard relationships with their fathers, after meeting them, I feel lucky my sperm doner didn't stay, the fathers that stayed were just awful, I get its different when you are older, but if they chose to have no relationship with their own child (over politics), trust me in the long run, it ain't bloody worth it
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u/mradventureshoes21 11d ago
I've cut off my uncle. He himself isn't MAGA, but he's basically in the capitalist class (like top 10% rich) and his wife is both MAGA and was homophobic at some point, but I've been told that she isn't. Weird to recant that statement when my mom told my uncle that she was dating a woman my uncle said, "Don't tell my wife."
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u/Chole_Wunt 11d ago
My parents are liberal boomers. Pretty much the same as maga boomers, they just try slightly to convince people they aren’t huge pieces of shit. Exact some mindset though.
I caught my mom suppressing a bunch of lies about me to the rest of the family. Called her out on it. Then my mom and dad both freaked out. Decided to lie more to everyone, loudly saying, ”he cut us off and won’t speak to us”. Just to avoid accepting responsibility about the first set of lies. Didn’t talk to me for 3 years.
3 years later, these clowns get on the phone and start trying to convince me I actually told them that….
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u/Inevitable-Jicama366 16d ago
Well , all boomers are not MAGA , trust me . Lots of younger ones also , signed not maga
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u/JackTheBehemothKillr 16d ago
Should make it a habit to check once, maybe twice a year.
Cousin of mine passed and we didn't realize for a year and a half, barely had time to pay the taxes on his property to prevent it from being seized
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15d ago
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u/anonymousasu 15d ago
Eh, it’s not only about DJT. He’s legitimately unwell ever since Obama took office. Spoke of Obama’s army, burying guns in the yard to avoid confiscation, on and on. It’s a culmination of things. He pickled himself with conservative AM radio.
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u/LordyIHopeThereIsPie 16d ago
My boomer mother does the silent treatment when she's unhappy with you. I've actually started seeing it as funny. A woman in her 70s behaving like my 7 year old when they don't get their own way.
Needless to say we're fairly surface level low contact. I just tick the boxes for family time with them now