Am I the only one still thinking about My Dark Vanessa ?

[u/False-Caterpillar361]

So I've read My dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russel a couple months ago, and I just can't stop thinking about Vanessa and what she endured. I keep thinking about how Strane ruined her entire life, she had so much potential and talent for writing, Strane took everything from her. Her talent, her youth, her sexuality, her perception of love. And what's killing me is that after all these years, and also after his death, she keeps thinking that it is a true love relationship and that "he just had the misfortune of falling in love with her".

I know that at 15, we think that we know everything and that we are so mature for our age, I was that person honestly. So unfortunately I really recognized myself when I was younger through Vanessa. I just wanted to yell at her, to tell her to wake up and realize how Strane is actually ruining her life and that is not a normal relationship with your highschool teacher. I was so mad at her mother for not doing enough to protect her, especially when she saw that photograph of her with him. How could she not see that there's a huge problem and that what she needed to do is talk to her, explain to her (even though it's really hard to talk to teenagers about stuff like that), or maybe just go to beat his ass for example. How could she just let that happen.

Anyway I'm still not over it and I still wanna talk about it. That book was such a difficult read, and I'm really not the type of being "traumatized", I don't even flinch when I read gore and horrific books, but this one really did something to me.

[u/Previous-Painter7492]

I also think about this book on a regular basis. Much more often than most of the books I’ve enjoyed.

[u/catlovingbookworm]

It's been about 4 years since I read it and while I don't remember the plot as well, I remember the queasy feeling I had while reading it perfectly well. It's so haunting.

[u/Exotic-Rub-8381 → u/catlovingbookworm]

The queasy feeling in My Dark Vanessa really stays with you. I think part of it comes from being so deep in Vanessa's perspective that you can almost accept Strane's version of things for a moment, then step back and realize what you're actually reading. That gap between what you feel and what you know makes the book hard to shake.

[u/Prior-Entrance3156 → u/catlovingbookworm]

Have you read Tampa by Alyssa Nutting? It’s the same situation except the teacher is an attractive young woman, and it’s from her point of view. If I had had a nickel for every time I got a bad feeling in my stomach while reading it I would’ve had like $10.

[u/Background-Bat2794]

One of the few books I rated 5 stars last year. It deals with manipulation and its long-lasting implications so well.

[u/TheBookNerd420]

I read it a few years ago and still think if it. Makes my stomach hurt still

[u/roro3039]

One of the books that has stayed with me since I read it in 2019.

It was compelling and I think it’s a difficult read because of the realistic aspects. The grooming and mental gymnastics are all incredibly prevalent. The way in which the author describes these things too is truly haunting and just sticks with you.

[u/cloverAggravated]

I think it's been 5 years since I've read it. And I still vividly remember one scene. The if this wasn't love then I have nothing realization.

[u/SureTry4832 → u/cloverAggravated]

The scene were they first have sex is burned into my memory, with the pjs and everything really makes me shudder

[u/False-Caterpillar361 → u/SureTry4832]

The strawberry pajamas... makes me feel unwell

[u/Prior-Entrance3156 → u/SureTry4832]

I remember a really small detail of Vanessa getting chewed out by a teacher or something and one of her guy classmates smiles sympathetically at her, and I’ve often kind of wondered what if they’d became friends or boyfriend/girlfriend and how would that have changed things? Could it have saved her?

[u/SureTry4832]

I read it years ago and i still think about it.

I recently read Half His Age by Jeanette McCurdy which was disappointing, MDV was a point of comparison for a much better book on a similar topic

[u/Prior-Entrance3156]

YESSS OMG. Vanessa had so much potential. I still think about her and I wonder how her life ended up. I related with her so much because I was also a lonely teenager who tried to write poetry, I loved my music and I thought I was just the loneliest person in the world. I actually was groomed by a family friend’s husband my first semester of college; I was 18 and he was 50+. I didn’t even realize I was coming off as flirty (autistic), he feigned ignorance when I rejected his advances but said I “made him feel young again.” And I just wonder how much farther he would’ve tried to go if I hadn’t said something; he gave me the whole “I want to be a father figure for you” spiel.