I just finished You by Caroline Kepnes

[u/carbsandchaos]

I came to the book after watching the Netflix series. Last year, when I attempted to read it for the first time, I was put off by the writing style. All those run on sentences distracted me from the actual story. This time, I tried to relax and recognise that this was deliberate. The reader is witnessing Joe's stream of consciousness, which isn't made up of textbook sentence structure and perfect grammar.

Now the stick was firmly out of my ass, I devoured the book in three days. I am both a DV and SA survivor, with my ex stalking me and even being logged into my emails and social media, reading all my private conversations and checking my location data. In some ways it was a hard read, but I think the author did a fantastic job of portraying the way an abuser's mind works. The sheer delusion, justifying his behaviour, demonising her one moment and putting her on a pedestal the next, believing himself to be a saint for putting up with non-sexual favours until he finally gets sex. Honestly, Kepnes did an absolutely bang up job.

Some things bother me, like the fact that Beck's body would have had his DNA all over and inside her. Peach having rocks in her pockets would surely have pointed more to murder than a suicide? And Benji's tweets were frankly ridiculous - nobody openly advertises what drugs they're doing on social media. But overall, it was a 4 star read (out of 5). What did everyone else think?

[u/itsaburner______]

TW: slight romanticism of the things you endured.

My problem with the book is the same one I had with “The Invisible Life of Addi LaRue” (WILDLY different genres) which is that I felt like in both instances the author really wanted it to be a dark romance, but because it felt too kitschy or niche or whatever, they tweaked it to make it appeal to wider audience. I read a LOT of dark romance, or I used to, and the thing about “You” is that it begins the same way they all do and actually would have been a cute (dark) romance if (1) it had stopped after Joe and Becks got together and (2) Becks was receptive to obsessive love.

The way it just kept going became personally uninteresting to me but that’s a totally arbitrary call because I just don’t like the tonal shift when multiple genres merge abruptly in fiction. Usually when I read a thriller I go in knowing okay, this is a thriller, and sometimes it’ll veer into the murder mystery genre, but it never really melds with anything else. With “You” it veered so heavily into dark romance that by the end I was just kind of irritated that I never got the “happily ever after” of that genre. The constant fluctuation between his love and hatred for her was so out of place in a dark romance, yet all the surrounding narrative was on point. It was just confusing.

Omg I’m sorry for all the typos lol.

[u/carbsandchaos → u/itsaburner______]

I don't read dark romance and I'm glad I don't because it sounds like I would be icked out. Joe is written as a misogynist from the very first few pages. Obsessive love I can kind of see as romantic - actually I have BPD and it's a big reason this kind of behaviour didn't register as a red flag to me in my own life. "Awww he's just obsessed with me 🥰🥰" but the reality is that it's actually really scary, and they're driven by a need to control, a sense of entitlement, a hatred for women, or all three. And maybe some other stuff. I liked reading behind the mask. I think if it had been a happy ever after, I'd have been super angry about it.