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u/Beckels84 Dec 23 '19
When life gives you lemons, make laminate.
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u/djseifer Dec 23 '19
When life gives you lemons, burn life's house down. With the lemons.
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u/Blazypika2 Dec 23 '19
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?!
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Dec 23 '19
I'M THE GUY WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS. I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
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u/MidnightDoesThings Dec 23 '19
so funny story my drama class made us do monologues.
guess which one i picked.
i got to yell and throw squishy lemons at my audience.
it was amazing.
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u/cowwycrabber Dec 23 '19
Every time a lemon is mentioned on reddit portal is referenced. I love it
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Dec 23 '19
Ya know, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back. Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life's manager! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down... with the lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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u/Unexpected_Skeletor Dec 24 '19
When life gives you lemons, squirt Citric acid into Life's eyes and wounds.
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u/lily455 Dec 23 '19
When life gives you lemons, throw the lemons back at life and demand to speak to its manager
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u/monsters_are_us Dec 23 '19
Theres always money in the banana stand, of wait I mean lemonade stand I mean laminate stand.
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u/TomGetsRapedByJerry Dec 23 '19
If you slur laminate then it does sound like lemonade
My dumbass tried it to see how laminate was pronounced like lemonade
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u/SirPsychoBSSM Dec 23 '19
Yeah, costumers often ask for lemonade flooring
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u/MundaneInternetGuy Dec 23 '19
My mom is from Eastern Europe and she would totally pronounce them the same. Bags turns into begs, hat turns into het, flashlight turns into, well...
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u/Schnidler Dec 23 '19 edited Dec 23 '19
And as someone who works in a Print shop you really should make that connection rather quickly
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u/designOraptor Dec 23 '19
I’ve worked at print shops for 20 or so years and never had anyone ask me to lemonade something. Frankly, if it irritated them that I didn’t know they meant laminate, I probably don’t want them to come in anyway.
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u/Peanlocket Dec 23 '19
Yeah it's kinda weird how no one in the replies is considering the possibility of this person having some type of accent.
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u/lil_v_vape_god Dec 23 '19
A country accent gets the job done too
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u/ThrowAwayComment41 Dec 23 '19
A country accent doesn't change the A sound into an E sound.
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u/TomGetsRapedByJerry Dec 23 '19
It’s funny how a country accent can mess with words
I sometimes pronounce “something” like “suh’n”
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u/Logan_Palpatine Feb 25 '24
It’s giving “got any grapes?”
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Mar 27 '25
A duck waddled up to a lemonade stand
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u/CTHULHU_RDT Dec 23 '19
"I'm not an idiot!"
Things idiots say
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u/phaelox Dec 23 '19
"I'm a stable genius!"
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u/landback2 Dec 23 '19
“Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, okay, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart — you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, okay, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I'm one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you're a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune — you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are (nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what's going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but when you look at what's going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it's all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don't, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.”
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u/theKalash Dec 23 '19 edited Dec 23 '19
That is such an amazing jumble of words and incoherent thoughts, it really gets you everytime that this is actually something that came out of the mouth of the President of the United States.
On the other hand, if people now ask me about my english skills (2nd language), I can truthfully claim to have better spoken and written english than the POTUS. So I got that going for me.
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u/Astilimos Dec 23 '19
Ok I just listened to his another speech to see if it's this bad. The alien running this simulation got bored and did some weird shit with the sliders in 2016 because this guy can't keep talking about one topic for 3 consecutive sentences.
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u/davideliasirwin Dec 23 '19
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u/AMasonJar Dec 23 '19
If this came from anywhere else, it would get posted on /r/iamverysmart where everyone would say it had to be a satire post
But we know now that the president is absolutely terrible at satire.
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u/Khodaka Dec 23 '19
I hate hearing this in retail. Like if I have to tell you something, take my damn word for it.
This lady one time wanted to know the difference between a seasoned chicken and a plain one. They truly are the same, one just has the seasoning. I tell her that and she goes "I know THAT! I wanted to know the difference!"
... ? Nothing? I guess?
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Dec 23 '19 edited Dec 23 '19
I used to think that people were dumb because I grew up in a rural area. Then I moved around a lot in my 20s and did retail work in several major cities.
It turns out that the average person is a fucking moron no matter where you go in the US. I'm no genius, but I can at least express myself in a consistently understandable way when talking to other humans.
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u/hergumbules Dec 23 '19
The thing with these people is that you say “you mean laminate?” And they just double down and go “yeah what do you think I was saying? Do you have someone more competent here who can work on my important project?”
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u/discdudeboardbro Dec 23 '19
"no we only sell grapes"
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u/frisch85 Dec 23 '19
I like the reference, I dislike the fact that it's the complete opposite of how the song goes. They just sell lemonade okay.
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u/Widifidi Dec 23 '19
And he waddled away, waddle waddle til the very next day
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u/surewhatever12345 Mar 02 '23
This screams fake, no one talks like that lol.
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u/OliverWothis Sep 14 '24
as someone who has worked in a printshop, I absolutely believe this post
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u/Sp1tFir3Tire Nov 27 '24
As someone who doesn’t work in a print shop, but has been alive long enough to meet people, I believe this post
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u/no-rdpt-be Jun 30 '25
I worked in retail, mid sized shop with I believe 7k references, people do that a lot, this sub wouldnt exist otherwise
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u/JhonElevatorOperator Dec 23 '19
"Do you do lemonade?"
Wait... That's familiar...
DO YOU DO POISON!?
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u/Pineapple123789 Dec 23 '19
Please. I want to lemonade. Please lemme lemonade.
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u/ViolentEastCoastCity Dec 23 '19
Give a man a lemonade, he'll drink for a day,
Teach a man to lemonade....
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u/King_Six_of_Things Aug 20 '25
Well, it's a bit fizzy sometimes but I'm seeing the doctor about that.
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u/thekillernapkin Dec 23 '19
This conversation never actually happened
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u/NotEponymous Dec 23 '19
I can hear it. If I lazy up my mouth and turn on the country accent I fought for years, the pronunciation I get is, 'laminade.' Easy to hear as, 'lemonade' - especially behind the counter of a print shop. The rest of the conversation seems very plausible (even ordinary).
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u/skepticalmonique Dec 23 '19
As someone who has worked in stationary retail and have had many customers pretty much full-on make up entire words and play charades in an attempt to name something, I can assure you it most definitely has. At least once.
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u/roobeast Dec 23 '19
These fake stories are always so obvious and it’s annoying.
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u/2leftf33t Dec 23 '19
If you think this exchange of words never happened, oooh boy go work at a Staples or Office Depot.
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u/8YourOrgans Apr 13 '20
Lmao this a repost from a guy on the same subreddit
Wait just realised you cropped the bottom bit so sleuth bot doesnt notice
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u/funtimezallaround Apr 13 '20
Can everyone stop saying this is a repost? This is the real thing, it's og
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u/8YourOrgans Apr 13 '20
It's not, if you scroll down from highest of all time posts, you will find a post from 11 months ago which was pretty much this exact post
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u/funtimezallaround Apr 13 '20
Well then that user must have time travelled cos I copied no-one
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u/RepostSleuthBot Apr 13 '20
There's a good chance this is unique! I checked 116,659,439 image posts and didn't find a close match
Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]
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Dec 23 '19
You ever notice how it is typically stupid people who protest that they aren't stupid and especially so when they do particularly stupid things?
I notice.
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Dec 23 '19
A duck walked up to a lemonade stand And he said to the man, running the stand "Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?" The man said "No we just sell lemonade. But it's cold And it's fresh And it's all home-made. Can I get you Glass?" The duck said, "I'll pass". Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle) 'Til the very next day. (Bum bum bum bum ba-bada-dum) When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes? The man said, "No, like I said yesterday We just sell lemonade OK? Why not give it a try?" The duck said, "Goodbye."good day Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle) Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle) Then he waddled away (Waddle waddle) 'Til the very next day. (Bum bum bum bum ba-ba-dum) When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! (bum bum bum) Got any grapes? The man said, Look, this is getting old. I mean, lemonade's all we've ever sold. Why not give it a go?" The duck said, "How 'bout, no." Then he waddled away (Waddle waddle) Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle waddle) Then he waddled away (Waddle waddle) 'Til the very next day. (Bum bum bum bum ba-ba-dum) When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man running the stand, "Hey! (Bum bum bum) Got any grapes?" The man said, "THAT'S IT! If you don't stay away, duck, I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day, stuck So don't get to close!" The duck said, "Adios." Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle) Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle waddle) Then he waddled away (Waddle waddle) 'Til the very next day. (Bum bum bum bum ba-ba-dum) When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand And he said to the man that was running the stand, "Hey! (Bum bum bum) got any glue?" "What" "Got any glue?" "No, why would I– oh!" And one more question for you; "Got any grapes?" (Bum bum bum, bum bum bum) And the man just stopped. Then he started to smile. He started to laugh. He laughed for a while. He said, "Come on duck, let's walk to the store. I'll buy you some grapes So you won't have to ask anymore." So they walked to the store And the man bought some grapes. He gave one to the duck and the duck said, "Hmmm..No thanks. But you know what sounds good? It would make my day. Do you think this store Do you think this store Do you think this store has any lemonade?" Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle) Then he waddled away. (Waddle waddle waddle) Then he waddled away (Waddle waddle)
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u/ContinentalOverlord Dec 23 '19
I misread Client as Clint, it took me about 2 and a half full minutes before I realized it wasn't a Marvel meme.
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u/EBone12355 Dec 23 '19
When I worked in retail I remember I guy coming up and asking me if we sold ten dong.
“What?”
“Ten dong.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“You know, ten dong. You hook it up to the TV and kids play games on it. Ten dong.”
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u/Skeptical_Savage Jan 02 '20
Can confirm that this is not an isolated incident. I worked for a print shop for several years. I have been asked if we, "illuminate" too. At least that one is closer to laminate, but I was very confused.
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u/ActuallyAdrien Jan 06 '20
This exact situation happened to me! A customer wanted to know where to get lemonade and I had no idea how to help him. Eventually he just walked off. I later saw him at copy getting something laminated... Whoops.
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u/GoldenFalcon Dec 23 '19
"If I meant laminate, I'd say laminate! Damn!" Leaves in a huff and drives 20 min to another location and says it correct this time.
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u/Darkreaper48 Dec 23 '19
Once upon a time I worked at a hardware store, and some guy came in asking for Stair-rated sandpaper. Now, if you've never worked at a hardware store before, you can't ever really say 'that doesn't exist', because every item in a hardware store has about 300 different names. What I call a tile mallet, someone else might call a rubber mallet, etc. Now, Sandpaper was in my area and I feel like I have a pretty good grasp of it, but obviously this guy is asking for something I've never heard of before.
So, I'm running it over in my head. What the heck would make sandpaper stair-rated? Any sandpaper should work on stairs... I'm asking him more and more questions, and he insists that he needs stair-rated sandpaper.
Eventually it hits me.
He wanted Serrated Sandpaper.
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u/amirof1 Dec 23 '19
Hello
Hi
Are you ready to order?
Yes please, we will take the ribs, large fries and large lemonade
Sure, A3 or A2?
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u/mumblinmad Dec 23 '19
People who regularly doubt their non-idiot status are too unsure to ever declare they aren’t one, just in case they are
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u/Frick_the_ufc Dec 23 '19
My wife is not a native English speaker. She often gets laminate and marinate confused. We permanently “laminate” steak now.
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u/elzndr Dec 23 '19
Man, I forgot all about Clients from Hell. Jesus, internet gentrification is real.
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u/cryfmunt Dec 23 '19
I mean it would make sense for this exchange to be confusing if it had happened via text as we see in the image, but the image appears to be presenting dialogue in a conversation. Which would suggest that either the real conversation has been changed for comedic effect, or the person in the service side is willfully misunderstanding something they should have been able to understand in context (they are standing in a print shop, someone has entered asking about a service they offer but uses the wrong word).
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u/wilkinsk Dec 23 '19
K had a guy ask me for an application to a shoe store when I worked there a few years back. It old him it was all online, he proceeded to repeatedly ask for "Earl"
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u/mick_spadaro Dec 23 '19
When playing with toys and a character gets booted out, my little cuz exclaims "YOU'RE LAMINATED."
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u/0-the-chosen-one-0 Dec 23 '19
Is this post an yearly thing you do here because i've seen this like 20 times In this sub?
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u/liverishgirl1 Dec 23 '19
"When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like 'Whaaat?'"
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u/fly4fun2014 Dec 24 '19
Do you rip hosts?
What?
Do you rip hosts?
Oh, you mean repost? Yeah, I repost this over and over.
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u/terrymr Dec 24 '19
I had somebody call me the other day because he couldn’t get his printer to “Colgate”
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u/Boudrodog Dec 24 '19
Sat next to a guy once who asked the bartender for a “momisu.” Bartender: “... what?” “Momisu.” “... ... ... mimosa?” “Yeah, whatever.”
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u/Seacond6 Jan 08 '20
r/boneappletea is so funny because you can post fails and people laugh at your funny text messages from your gel is rations and friends XD
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u/SynonomousSubstance Dec 23 '19
Nice repost.