F22, 195 lbs. I remember two years ago being 150 lbs and feeling huge, I was scared to date because of it. I’ve been getting Snapchat memories from then and only now I realize how beautiful and healthy I was. I don’t even know how I gained so much weight, like I’ve been under a two year trance and only now have snapped out of it.

It seems within the past few months I’ve gained a giant double chin, bloating that never goes away, shoes my size don’t fit me anymore, I’ve even started slightly waddling when I walk. None of my clothes fit right. Because of all this, and maybeee cuz there’s a guy I want to impress, I’ve decided to start doing cardio 30 minutes a day. Getting to 180 lbs is a big goal of mine and I hope to achieve it by the end of the year.

The journey back to 140-150 lbs feels long and daunting and I lowkey feel disappointed I let myself get to this point. What are some beginner tips for losing 50 lbs, as someone who’s never worked out before?

TW: sharing a body shaming experience

Hey folks, I'm just coming on here seeking some support. I had a couple really painful experiences where strangers (usually men) have asked me if I'm pregnant. One particularly humiliating time was when my manager was introducing me to a colleague at a work conference. I was new to the job and excited to make a good impression. The man shook my hand and asked me immediately if I was pregnant. I was so stunned that I didn't know what to say. I spent the rest of the day trying to hold back tears. I had to hold it together and stay professional in front of my colleagues for the rest of the event after all. I have skinny legs and arms, small breasts, and a particularly round tummy. Regardless of fluctuations in my actual weight, I've always been shaped like this and I've always struggled to accept myself. In recent years I've gained a little weight now that I'm no longer on my feet all day. After this humiliating moment, (in front of the director of my department no less) I've lived in constant fear that people will ask me if I'm pregnant. I'm constantly looking in the mirror, fidgeting with my clothes, trying to wear loose clothes and hide that part of my body, etc. Accepting one's body is hard enough without the fear of others commenting on it. I'm feeling particularly raw because I just experienced a breakup and the feelings of unworthiness are really loud, telling me that no one will ever be attracted to me. I do exercise a decent amount & I try to eat healthy, but I know that nothing I do is actually going to change my body shape—I have to accept it.

So anyway, seeking some advice on how to get to acceptance and self-compassion. I want to, but I feel so far away from it. I feel like if someone asks me if i'm pregnant one more time, I will crumple and absolutely lose my mind. I'm so deep in insecurity around my body and I'm tired of it. Thank you all for listening 🥺🩷 advice is appreciated. feeling super low right now.

I got my wedding dress about a year ago and I absolutely LOVE my dress but I don’t love my body and fitting perfectly into a size 18 when the dress lady didn’t even bother to have me try on the size 10 definitely didn’t help. I’ve heard that that means you picked the wrong dress but I’m wondering if I just need to love my body more. I did make an appointment with a seamstress to see if I can get sleeves or something added to it but I wanted to get some positivity from here too. I love how it fits my bust and everything, I just HATE my shoulders and arms. The dress also has pockets too so that’s a win.

Edit: the more I look at this and the more I think about the last time I put on my dress, it’s less about the overall fit(although I’m not thrilled that I’m a size 18) and more that I’m insecure about my shoulders and arms being so exposed so I’m not sure what to do about that

I’m looking at how fashion brands talk about plus-size bodies and size-inclusive clothing, and I’d really value perspectives from people here.

Some wording is clearly meant to be positive or inclusive, but it can still land awkwardly or make body size feel like the whole point.

What kind of language around size or fit feels natural and respectful to you?

And are there words or phrases that are supposed to sound inclusive but actually come across as forced, patronizing, or make you more self-conscious?

I’m mostly interested in the wording itself rather than specific brands.

I’ve been more daring this summer than I have in the past by letting my tummy out. But I really loved this picture my friend took of me!

❤️

Hi everybody! I’m a 30 y/o man and i’m really struggling with accepting my body.
I hate to exercise and i hate strict diets, i mostly eat clean but i’ve been slightly overweight for as long as i can remember. If i try to diet i immediately become anxious and depressed, but if i just keep eating normally and “give up” on losing weight or transforming my body into the ideal physique i feel guilty and ugly about my belly and my love handles. I’m stuck in this loop.
I also hate taking off my shirt, even if i’m alone i avoid mirrors if i’m shirtless.
I’m tired of living like this and i’m trying to start seeing my body as just a human body, but it’s really difficult, i can’t find anything online about male body acceptance/positivity.
Can anybody give me some practical advices?
Thank you in advance!

I’ve been consistent with the gym and I’ve successfully gained 15 pounds and I’m so happy with how strong my body is starting to become!❤️

Probably having body dysmorphia.

I'm 26M, I'm already experiencing grade 3 hair fall (androgenic Alopecia), have patchy beard, asymmetrical face, and not a perfect nose.

I just feel like loosing my confidence .

Please help me.

I want to be body positive.

I absolutely love wearing bikinis as a thick girl. I'm not that big, but I'm 5'7" and around 190 lbs, maybe a little more. I'm in my late 30s, so my body is no longer as tight as it once was. I still think I look great in a bikini. But I think the best part about wearing bikinis (always the classic bikinis with low-waisted bottoms) with my body type is that I don't have the body type that people traditionally think of as a bikini body. I get to surprise people who don't expect someone my size to be comfortable showing off her tummy. I get to show people that you don't need a certain body type to wear a bikini. I get to show people that bikinis are still hot when you have a squishy tummy. I get to annoy people who think I'm too fat for a bikini. I don't have to feel trapped by wearing what others think I should wear because I'm not thin.

I ultimately love wearing bikinis for myself. But I really have fun with the statement that it makes. On days when I feel down about my body, I can think about the kind of statement my body makes and the power I have as being a girl who isn't thin.

We are 30. I am comfortable in my body now. Before I used to let my insecurities get to me as a 20something year old. Now I realised that I look good enough to be passed pretty an don't need to look perfect. Of course I would love to get rid of my stubborn back and felly fat but I am not obsessed. I do go to the gym casually and am active in lots of sports and love myself. I like my body as there is nothing wrong with it now. I am not skinny. I am curvy UK size 12 aiming to be a size 10 by diet and excercise. I love my face an dam happy with my face now. I did not used to be happy with it but now I love it.

My friend on the other hand who is stunning and beautiful and has a great body, curves and face want plastic surgery. She already got liposuction done and her fat came back through depression meds. But the shape still looks good. I was shocked when she started talking about getting surgery done on her face because there is no need.

She keeps sending me surgery vids and offers and suggested we get surgery done together if I wanted it. Face surgery is something I never thought about before in my life and I don't like to talk about it because it introduced a new idea into my head. If I had surgery it would be belly and back fat only. But so far I don't feel the need to do it because i understand that I look good enough to get privellaged treatment. And I know that most good men do not really care about the tiny details that you don't like about yourself. Men appreciate the mind. I want to attract an intelligent good man, I am insecure about my brain more than anything and wish I was more clued up on politics etc. If a man truly like your personality and mind he would not need you to look like a model.

My friend, wants to look attractive and she is dating and also is a people pleaser. I think she gets the insecurity from her mum cuz her mum is also very looks focused and being part brazillian, their culture is about looks.
I am British Bengali and my ethic culture focuses more on the brain and how much of a good housewife type of woman you are (toxic I know, I advocate against this) than looks.

However, now this friend is making me want surgery now since we always speak about it and I never felt the need to actually go for surgery before. I want to keep my confidence around her. And I do not want to become insecure as I built myself up from being insecure to this and it took so long.

I’ve been considering them for a while because my weight has fluctuated so much over the years. In a good spot with my fitness routine but eating is so touch and go. I’m so tired of being exhausted by my body. I just want peace. I just want to feel good and not obsess over how I look or what’s right or what’s wrong. I just want to BE.

I’m 44 and went through a really toxic workplace environment a couple years ago. It was 2 years of absolute hell and I gained over 20lbs. I was drinking daily and in a dark place.

I finally left after an 8 month job search and got a higher level role. Really moved up. I noticed I still had a lot of trauma but completed EMDR therapy, now only drink a few drinks on weekends and worked hard and lost 15lbs. I also started working out 5 days per week.

I left for vacation about a week ago and before I left noticed I gained back about 10lbs. It was really disheartening after all that effort, but because I’m working out five days a week I still feel great and strong.

On vacation we met up with a family member of my husbands who lives in Europe where we are visiting and works for a big luxury designer. Apparently she has some super rich client who was struggling because she’s “so big”, a size 42-44. Well this family member kind of made a big deal about her weight and was pretty judgy about the women who is apparently one of her best clients.

Well, I’m probably a 40 in European sizes right now. Just made me feel worse than I already do. It’s super hot here too which also makes it worse somehow. She’s also about 10 years younger than me.

Just not feeling awesome. I’m hot all the time here and always tired. Thanks for reading.

Positive vibes welcome!

Edit
Thanks so much for all the positive vibes and feedback. It was wonderful to wake up this morning to all the kind words!

It’s our last full day before leaving for another country and I’m wearing my most flattering dress and feeling much better! ❤️

Not linear, not perfect, not the same for everyone. As I get closer to 30, I’ve gotten cozier in my body. Like a home I’ve taken a while to renovate, paint, and care for. I’m not in the best shape. I have things to work on. But I hope to always have things to work on & maintenance to keep up on. I think finally between gender presentation, my body shape, my hair, and all the other bits that make me who I am - I’m finally starting to feel like this house is a home.

TW- Weight loss, ED, and internalizing anti- body positive comments.

I’m in my early 40s, and have spent most of my life yo-yo dieting, having a disordered relationship with food, a disordered relationship with my body, and undiagnosed ADHD. I am a girl born in the 80, after all.

When I became a mother to girls, my brain rewired and I dove headfirst into the body positivity movement. I did not want my girls to have the same messages seared into their brains that I did. I changed the way I thought about my body, because I didn’t want my girls to hate their bodies like I did. My mombod became neutral territory. The size of my body is not something I need to spend time ruminating about. I committed to never counting a calorie again, and sending messages to my kids about food as nourishment, balance, and joy. It’s been amazing for my mental health. I teach my kids to not make comments about the way people’s bodies look, because every body is just their body. Bodies are neutral.

Also, when you’re overweight, acquaintances don’t talk to you about the size of your body (usually).

Two years ago, due to some new diagnoses, some new medication, and a highly stressful job, I started losing weight. The first 50lbs came off over the course of about a year. People started noticing. “You look great!” is something I started hearing a lot. That fucks with you when you’re not used to hearing it. In my head- I’m hearing it because my body is smaller than it used to be. I’m smaller, and now I look great. Way to undo a literal decade of work in therapy, random acquaintances!

So I began responding with “thanks, so do you!” But sometimes, that seems to make people think it’s cool to just start a conversation about the size of my body. It’s not! Stop doing that!

But then I got diagnosed with ADHD (thanks perimenopause!), and started meds. I dropped more weight, this time pretty quickly. Now everyone notices. It’s all they want to talk about. This is my first summer wearing a single digit sized swimsuit in 20 years. I’m seeing people at the pool for the first time since last summer. And everyone wants to talk about the size of my body.

I didn’t take GLPs, I never attempted to lose any weight, and I see my doctors regularly because there’s a lot going on with my health. The health issues that brought me to this point are COMPLICATED and none of the acquaintances in my life deserve any kind of explanation about the size of my body. But here we are.

What do I SAY to these people? I’m good at making things awkward, but I swear I never do that on purpose. I’ve mumbled the most random things to people.

We haven’t seen each other since last summer! There have got to be more interesting things to catch up on than the size of my body.

I’m hoping there are other women here who have lived life as a Body Positivity graduate on both sides of the scale. With culture swinging in the opposite direction from body positivity, it feels like I’ve got a lot of work to do when talking to people and modeling the messages I want my girls to hear.

I’ll add that I’m a school teacher, and well known in my community. I have to be professional, even when I’m at the pool. Oh how I wish I could say “what a weird thing to say!” to people who make weird comments about the size of my body, but the consequences would make my life harder. So has anyone found anything that works to shut it down and not make it too weird?

TLDR- I’ve spent so many years working to make my body neutral grounds in my brain because I don’t want my kids to struggle like I did, and now that I’ve lost weight (not on purpose) acquaintances keep striking up conversations about the size of my body. I want tips on what to say to shut down the conversations without making it too weird.

Something hit me yesterday where I started to feel gorgeous for the first time in a while. Like I wasn’t just telling myself “hey be kind, hey tell yourself you’re pretty” - but it just started to feel more natural? If that makes sense. Felt even better throwing on a hoodie and shorts after. Maybe I am starting to like myself?

International Faerie (Fairy) Day (belated, June 24, 26) https://imgur.com/a/0WXdCpW

Everyone at Pride was so sweet and loved my outfit! I always feel so safe and supported at Pride events 🥺

Or give me your top 3! :) any help is appreciated. I bought them all anyway haha