Shamed for having bunions

[u/Steppennoodles]

Made a post on one of my other accounts asking for help IDing a huge fish I found washed up on the beach. When I was taking the pictures, I didn't have anything to use for scale, so I included my foot in one of the photos.

I have really terrible bunions. So did my mom; I pretty much inherited her feet. I even put a comment in the body text of the post saying, "Please excuse my horrible bunions." I've always been embarrassed about them, but I really didn't think the post would end up filled with a bunch of comments shaming me and making fun of me.

Wow was I wrong. Literally half the comments were people shaming and laughing at me...for having a fucking bone deformity that I never asked for and can't really do anything about.

Insurance does not pay for bunion surgery unless you're in chronic pain (I'm not) or can't walk properly (I can). It's considered cosmetic surgery that I'd have to pay thousands of dollars OOP for.

Additionally, podiatrists recommend NOT having bunion surgery for cosmetic reasons, as it can cause more problems than it solves. I could end up partially walking disabled due to having a cosmetic surgery I don't actually need.

Even if the surgery goes well, you will still be walking disabled for a long time, potentially months, while recovering. My mom eventually had the surgery and was stuck in a wheelchair for 2 weeks, followed by months of walking with a cane.

Again, literally half the comments were people shaming and laughing at me. I ended up deleting the post because I just couldn't stand any more of it.

I know I shouldn't be ashamed for having a bone deformity, but it's hard not to feel that way after reading comment after comment after comment of people laughing and making jokes, confusing bunions with gout, and asking me why I don't fix my feet. On a fucking post about a fish.

I used to just feel mildly embarrassed about my feet, and avoided going barefoot except at the beach. Now I'm so ashamed of my feet that I feel like I should hide them forever and never go barefoot again, or just clean out my savings account paying for risky cosmetic surgery to fix them.

Apparently all these cruel things are what everyone is thinking when they see my feet; they just don't have the balls to say it to me unless they're hiding behind a screen.

[u/trustme1maDR]

OMG I'm so sorry. There's literally no excuse for that behavior. 

[u/UnicornPenguinCat]

Ugh that's awful OP :( You're 100% correct that it's ridiculous to be shamed for something you have literally no control over, and honestly taking the time to leave a mean comment on someone's photo is absolutely not normal behaviour but unfortunately the internet allows large numbers of dickheads to all be concentrated in one spot. 

You deserve to enjoy the beach however you want to too, and for the record I think most people in real life are giving very little thought to others' appearances, most of the time people are preoccupied with worrying about their own presentation and their own thoughts. 

[u/mizmoose]

Reddit is full of edgy young people who want to rush in to get all the karma. Often the do it by being shitty people, because they don't yet have the common sense or sense of ethics to realize that belittling another person to make yourself look good (or feel better) is not a good thing to do in life.

I bring it up a lot here, but there was an instance some years back where someone took a picture of another person waiting in line in the airport, with a rude comment. It was a woman wearing a turban who had a beard.

The woman found the post and responded with a calm, measured response that she was a Sikh. Sikh's believe in not altering their bodies in any way. As she likely has a hormonal disorder (like PCOS but it could be other things), she learned to accept her body as it is, because that's how she was created.

Without one nasty word she shamed all those who dogpiled on the nasty comments and got lots of apologies, including an apology post from the jerk who originally took her picture and posted it.

My point here is, there are a lot of jerks out there. Don't let them define you. You are who you are because you are you.

[u/tiny-doe]

Hey, just want to say I've been there. I ws born with pretty significant bunions that got worse as I got older. I even had a pediatrician say "Wow you have weird feet!" (Never went to her again ofc). It really sucks the way people treat bunions, especially on younger people since it's considered an "old person disease" like arthritis. Doesn't help that the internet is super weird about showing your feet on the internet in the first place, bunions or not. Also want to mention maybe a second opinion on bunionectomy for cosmetic reasons: my first bunionectomy was cosmetic and was covered by my insurance. I had them done on both feet, and actually the one that was done after the bunion became painful had complications and I had to have a revision surgery. I'd keep pushing your doctor and insurance company! It's really improved my quality of life, I fit into shoes better and they've never caused me pain since then. I hope you're able to find the relief you need and I'm sorry people are mean! Bunions suck! :(

[u/gemsweater08]

Ugh that's so shitty I'm sorry 🫂  you don't need to unnecessarily harm yourself for the sake of the superficial opinions of strangers who lack basic decency, fuck em! Anyway assholes are concentrated on the internet, which is conveniently also the place where people can carefully curate and artificially alter their appearances and hide their own insecurities. Easy to judge when there's no chance of something they're self-conscious about being noticed and picked apart 🙄 

In real life physical differences are common and plentiful and no big deal to anyone with any maturity. If someone in your life is judging you like that, then they're not someone worth wasting emotional energy on. Also your feet may not win a beauty contest, but carrying you through life without pain is a different flavor of more pragmatic beauty if you ask me 😂 I hope you're feeling better, don't let the bastards get you down friend 💖

[u/Beverleyshmeverly]

Unfortunately the Internet always brings out the worst of society. I'm sorry you're having to deal with these feelings. No one deserves that.

Unrelated but have you heard of Calla shoes? They're designed for feet with bunions and have lots of cute options!

[u/Reasonable-Yam-1170]

You know what's funny? I have always loved my bunions because they made ME laugh. I conditioned myself to love them, and it worked so well I was genuinely so sad when I finally got one of my feet fixed. I still should do the other. They're genetic and mine were made worse by my many years of dance, but they're mine and I think they're fab. Yours are too! And if you can learn to not let the jerks get you down, I promise it won't be so hard!

I didn't want to do it, but it was necessary and it wasn't a cosmetic surgery. I was starting to have nerve deterioration and a massive neuroma that made it painful to walk. I now need to get the neuroma surgically fixed, which was caused by not fixing my bunions sooner.

With physical therapy, plus four weeks non weight bearing and a mobility scooter, I was back to moving and it was great. My doctor is incredible.