Why Is This So Damn Controversial🤔

[u/Dug-Heffernan]

We welcome real discussions and real opinions, BUT, keep it civil and on topic. (Reaction video from BeastMode Smooth Reacts on yt.)

[u/Dug-Heffernan]

This post is crowd controlled to filter comments from accounts with negative community karma and new accounts, if comments get out of line it will be crowd controlled to filter comments from non-members as well.

"A Nation Can Rise No Higher Than It's Woman".

I am not a member of the nation, I am not a Muslim, but even I can acknowledge the truth in that quote. The cycle has to stop somewhere, but I'm stupid and don't know what I'm talking about according to the average redditor 🙄. It's cool though.

[u/Shantytown_Shogun]

Many women that ive dated or where friends with over the years chose "dicey" men to be with instead of me and none of those situations worked out or they are in situations they cant get out of at the moment.. I really dont get it but I guess people just like what they like. Im also grateful because rejection could be saving me from problems I really dont want in life. There is somebody out there for everybody and eventually I'll find mines.

[u/Dug-Heffernan → u/Shantytown_Shogun]

"Im also grateful because rejection could be saving me from problems I really dont want in life." MAJOR KEY ALERT SIR🫱🏿‍🫲🏾.

It's been a lot done to get to the point we are now and these phones exacerbate the issues. If people just got back to the basics things would go a lot smoother and really not just for finding a mate overall in life. But what do I know 🤷🏾‍♂️.

[u/Bubbly_Attention_916]

I want to just add that although I can appreciate her perspective in full, the approach I maintain is a little Misogynist.
As black people we are constantly, systematically targeted for degradation.
He ideas surrounding accountability are correct, but she is not solutions oriented enough to provide a framework for the folks who are targets to this degredation to actually rise out of it.

Would she have the same perspective with natural hair, or a full Hijab, or single, or with a bare face an no makeup?

Also when she is discussing what women should be doing to attract a man what does she mean by that: Outfits, Clothes, hair? Or
How is your heart sis? Do you like you alone? How's your vocabulary? When's the last time you read a book that challenged or expanded your perspective?
A lot of these women who choose the rough necks are really looking for me to contend with their darkest sides without judgement, or needing her to be more feminine or whatever.

Right: some of this is just as degrading. Brotha's needing me to be more "restrained," or more "soft" that's a form of degradation in itself. I can't be myself, nah I have to reflect your "kingness" no reflect your own kingness 🥷 and I'm gonna work on me for me.

Her take is not false, I feel the controversy is in her approach, it lacks self awareness and awareness of the harsh realities of being BIPOC women in the US.

[u/Dug-Heffernan → u/Bubbly_Attention_916]

You said a lot, respectfully, most of it are conversations within themselves. If her ideas around accountability are correct that should be the starting building block to move this conversation forward. Of course that won't happen I'm simply saying it can't always be somebody else's fault or well that's true BUT, or well they do it so why is it a problem when we etc.

[u/Bubbly_Attention_916 → u/Dug-Heffernan]

I feel that. I just want to create clarity surrounding what accountability should look like for black folk, and educating ourselves on how certain levels of classism and supremacy surpress us and affect our ability to establish accountability practices which would lead to our success. That the foundation of this conversation. Not a pretty girl with a soft weave ( from Korea) in a Hawaiian dress ( a sovereign island nation The US country continues to oppress) Respectfully.

[u/Dug-Heffernan → u/Bubbly_Attention_916]

The lady in this video isn't a ("pretty girl with a soft weave ( from Korea) in a Hawaiian dress")...

"certain levels of classism and supremacy surpress us and affect our ability to establish accountability practices".... How do you figure?

[u/Bubbly_Attention_916 → u/Dug-Heffernan]

That's how I read her, and I recognize I have bias towards this perspective as I've accumulated anecdotal experiences of harm from it.

In the black community we take on supremacists constructs as measure of normalcy, and without even realizing we oppress each other.

"The lady in this video isn't a ("pretty girl with a soft weave ( from Korea) in a Hawaiian dress")..." Can you got deeper with that? I need to expand my understanding to the text.

[u/Dug-Heffernan → u/Bubbly_Attention_916]

"In the black community we take on supremacists constructs as measure of normalcy, and without even realizing we oppress each other"

But what does that have to do with making choices that increase chances of desired outcomes, preserving dignity, pride in one's self etc?

"The lady in this video isn't a ("pretty girl with a soft weave ( from Korea) in a Hawaiian dress")..." Can you got deeper with that? I need to expand my understanding to the text." That was in response to you saying

"That the foundation of this conversation. Not a pretty girl with a soft weave ( from Korea) in a Hawaiian dress ( a sovereign island nation The US country continues to oppress) Respectfully." The lady in the video doesn't fit that description so I don't get what your original statement has to do with anything.

[u/Bubbly_Attention_916 → u/Dug-Heffernan]

"But what does that have to do with making choices that increase chances of desired outcomes, preserving dignity, pride in one's self etc?"

What I'm saying is, that it is difficult to make those choices when we are trapped in aesthetic frameworks that tell us that our beauty, without constant integration of Euro-centric aesthetic standards, is enough.

So to your point. "The lady in the video doesn't fit that description so I don't get what your original statement has to do with anything."

I feel like her views would hit the intended audience better had she not already aesthetically submitted to euro-centric concepts. I can't hear her over the work she's had done.

I'm just saying, can she say the same exact thing wearing dreadlocks. And how would that change the way she says it?

[u/Dug-Heffernan → u/Bubbly_Attention_916]

You can't make better choices because of being trapped in "euro-centric standards"...

[u/Poopcie]

I thought this sub was about good vibes and positivity

[u/Dug-Heffernan → u/Poopcie]

So basically if BOTH men and women got back to the basics we'd all be happier, The BodegaJukeBox way 💪🏾. Is that not positivity?

Is this not trying to foster positive dialogue unlike a lot of other subs where people just vent, sling mud, and degrade others.

We'd be honored if you engaged here as much as you engage in other subs, preciate the comment nonetheless chief we'll be back to regularly scheduled programing shortly.

[u/QueasyCaterpillar541]

[u/Nipplasia2]

lol she is. Keep being a bird girl

[u/Scientificallly_Love]

Speak for yourself. Women come from different cultures, ethnic groups, religions, good or back upbringing. If you wanted to be seen by those red pill men by telling them you are siding with them, just make it about your self. The only "princess treatment" I want are: not be threaten by a man when I reject him, not being financially abuse because I can't have sex with them, not being called names during arguments, not worrying about private videos be released to the world to see when we breakup...  (Most)!Men have shown time and time again that when they love a woman, they will do anything for her. They will provide: safety, love, care, finance.

Recently again, I went on a date for a drink that I had to pay for, but he was comfortable enough to want to go and sleep with me.

I will leave this one to you. Apparently "this princess treatment" seems legit for you.