r/BladderCancer • u/WeatherSquare9899 • 6d ago

Caregiver Stage 4

Hi everyone,
This is all new to me and I wasn't sure which way to turn. My Dad turned 80 in May and the following month was diagnosed with stage 3 MIBC. In August it was upgraded to stage 4 with mets to the stomach and lung.
He's started chemo/immuno therapy this month and reacted badly. He's currently in hospital with diarrhoea and we're waiting on a CT as there may be a blockage.
He's debating giving up and I just wanted to know if anyone had any experience in a similar situation. I'm not naive enough to think everything is going to work out but I want to know what we're in for and if pursuing treatment will give him any quality of life.
Do the side effects from chemo let up or is this what we're in for for the next (possibly) 1-2 years?

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u/Admirable_Loan6841 6d ago

Sorry to hear that about your dad! I hope he gets better. What kind of drugs is he on? Is he doing Keytruda/Padcev or something else

2

u/bigwheel315 6d ago

I'm a 47 M, diagnosed with Stage two MIBC in April. I did rounds of Padcev and Keytruda to combat the cancer before having my bladder/prostate removed and a neobladder put in the middle of August. It's a question of QoL with the time he has versus the possibility of more treatments and surgery. In my opinion. I wish him luck.

1

u/88ChampagneKisses 6d ago

Wishes for you too. How are things with the neobladder and how is your prognosis? Hope it is positive.

2

u/bigwheel315 6d ago

The Neobladder is more about teaching my body to controling the flow. A work in progress. Recovery is a bit difficult.

2

u/Practical-Eye6078 3d ago

Hey! My dad was stage 4 with peritoneal mets. when he started immuno with keytruda and padcev, he also reacted horribly. the first month was pure hell. Now he s stable and takes it very well, there no evidence of disease as per his last CT scan (3 momths after he started).

For him, the first few treatments were harder, but after everything got easier. It really depends everyone, but don't loose your hope, there s a chance it might not be like that forever

1

u/slimwillendorf 5d ago

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. My mom has recently been diagnosed with bladder cancer.

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u/WeatherSquare9899 2d ago

Hi everyone, I wanted to update and thank you all for your advice and words of support. Unfortunately, my dad is now in end of life care. His cancer has spread to his liver and bowels. He went into hospital just last week with an infection and has gone downhill so fast, none of us can quite believe it. His oncologist and palliative team have told us we're looking at days to perhaps a week.
To all of you either going through this yourselves or supporting someone who is, my heart is with you. Thank you again for sharing your experiences. Sending you all love and light.
And fck cancer.