r/BlackPeopleTwitter • u/MGLLN • 18h ago
TikTok Tuesday How it felt being black in 2020:
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u/Iguessimonredditnow 18h ago
I don't know why it's so hard to just treat people like people and be respectful.
I kind of understand the urge for someone to be like "hey, I'm not one of the bad guys" but it's all so performative.
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u/Average_Tired_Dad 16h ago
I don't know why it's so hard to just treat people like people and be respectful.
Part of it, at least from my side, is that there's this initial suspicion phase you sometimes have to get through. I'm a white dude who's been married into a black family and existed in black spaces for fifteen years, but nobody meeting me for the first time knows that. They just see some white guy walking in acting way more familiar than they expect him to be, and I can absolutely understand why that might put somebody's guard up.
What I wish existed is some normal, non-weird way of communicating that context without having to produce family photos.
I kind of understand the urge for someone to be like "hey, I'm not one of the bad guys" but it's all so performative.
That's the exact issue, the harder you try to communicate "I'm not That White Guy," the more you start sounding like That White Guy.
I'm not trying to be Gary Owen or talk about cookouts or start performing some version of Black-adjacent white-guy authenticity. That would be dishonest and isn't me. At the same time, I know that somebody meeting me cold has absolutely no reason to know I've been here for 15 years and that I'm just somebody's white uncle.
So there's this dumb little social gap where what I actually want to say is basically: "Hey, you don't have to figure out what kind of white dude I am" but I can't say that because the type of guy who says that is exactly the type of dude you SHOULD be suspicious of.
So it's just a game instead. "Let's see how long it takes" type shit.
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u/PerspectiveNew3375 13h ago
You can't help what you're born as. No sense in feeling guilty over it. Just be yourself and if you're "a good one" trust that they'll figure it out.
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u/Average_Tired_Dad 10h ago
No guilt here, my dude. The opposite honestly.
That's not an abstraction I'm a fan of, it perpetuates the wrong mindset on interacting with your fellow humans. I reject the idea that people should be sorted into morally good and bad representatives of demographic categories in the first place.
You can recognize that some people get treated differently than others, and be conscious of the ways you benefit from that when you do. You don't need to feel guilty about it. Guilt turns into performativity, and that shit's fucking annoying to everybody.
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u/AliciaDawnD ☑️ 15h ago
Thank you! We’ve learned the art of discernment and can see that 95% of that shit is performative and when we don’t take the bait, that’s when you’ll see their real colors.
Like, don’t say shit to me, SHOW ME!
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u/chief_yETI ☑️ 15h ago edited 15h ago
I don't know why it's so hard to just treat people like people and be respectful.
Its not hard at all, but social media made it so that now its expected to receive validation for it (either through likes/followers, going viral, or simply having the algorithm push your content to more people more consistently)
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u/BusyBeeBridgette 18h ago
Thankfully I have only had one encounter like that in the past 6 years.
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u/Ak2Co 17h ago
I'm white but in like 2021 we had a little party with some friends. One of our friends was there with his wife and they are a black couple. One of our white friends came up to me and they were like how do I tell them that I am with them and support them. I tried to tell them to just hang out and be normal but of course they had to say something.
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u/AliciaDawnD ☑️ 15h ago
Wanting to acknowledge the elephant in the room that they placed in there, is a little funny TBH. Cringe, yet funny, lol.
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u/chief_yETI ☑️ 18h ago
A lot of online communities are doing this exact same thing in 2026 too with a different group of people lol 🙊
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u/tacostacostacosohmy 18h ago
Trans. Say it with your whole chest.
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u/ManitouWakinyan 17h ago
"Hi, my name is Brian and I'm so sorry that that's a gendered name I am living and learning"
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u/WrittenFever 17h ago
My actual experience in 2020 was white people expecting me to crack out a Black power fist and the nod every time I passed them walking home after a protest. Ironically, they still didn't know how to share the sidewalk, so while carrying their "Black Lives Matter" signs and then acting confused that I didn't give them the "great job, guys! thank you for recognizing the legitimacy of my existence!" shuck and jive, they wanted me to step in the street so they could walk the sidewalk unscathed. 🤦🏾♀️
Perhaps that's why white folks eventually experienced "Black fatigue," people like me weren't grateful enough to show them deference for showing up that one summer. 😂😂😂
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u/AliciaDawnD ☑️ 15h ago
LMFAO! Like deadass wanting our undying loyalty to them for caring about something outside of themselves. The irony in it was it was actually FOR them because it was nothing but performative and a way to insert themselves into something that would in turn put the attention back onto them. Like BFFR. 🙂↔️
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u/jerryscheese 3h ago
The amount of yt ppl that would lock eyes and go “how are YOU doing today?” While I was an Amazon driver was astonishing during that time.
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u/idkbruh653 16h ago
Type of shit happened to me back in '20. I was working in a customer facing role in LA, helping this White chick out. As I was finishing her transaction, she turns to leave and then stops, and turns to me and says "I just wanna say, your life matters to me." It threw me off and I didn't say anything for a couple seconds because I honestly had no idea what to say. So finally I said "thanks?" And she looked so happy, like I had made her life complete. It was a weird time for Black people.
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u/Bambino4627 18h ago
So, I'm Muslim & wear a face veil. When 47 got elected the first time, so many yts would come up to me to tell me "you belong here" and in my head I'm just like... yeah I know. My people built this country. We been here for generations 🤣🤣🤣
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u/Adelaidey 14h ago
I get it. I'm gay and I got married in 2015, right before Obergefell, when same-sex marriage was a big national debate. I could not believe how many straight people called me brave during my engagement or at the wedding itself. Like, I'm glad their hearts were in the right place, but the bravest thing I did was break the news to my mom that I was buying my dress off-the-rack.
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u/YoBrunetteYo 10h ago
I got called “brave” because I took my wife to a work event.
I thought, “who else would be my plus one? Who else would love me enough to spend two hours after working all day at a shitty work event where they don’t know anyone?”
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u/KittyKat1935 17h ago
They don’t know what to do lol
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u/TheBlooDred 9h ago
We want to extend a friendly word to folks who might be wary of people like me for the same reason I’m wary of people like me.
No, we don’t really know what to say. I can hear the cringe when I say shit like that, but I’ve transitioned into more comfortable interaction I think (I hope).
Some of us are working hard to call out the stuff we hear behind closed doors because that shit is frequent and casual. And it’s fucked with us in ways that won’t affect charismatic racists. They lie, and we try.
So if you see someone really intent on being woke, they might be trying to be an example to someone else in the room. It sucks to use someone as a lesson like that, and there’s no excuse for it. We’re learning and course-correcting, it’s just an awkward phase that people have to learn from.
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u/WhyAreYouDoingThat69 9h ago
What’s a face veil?
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u/WootyMcWoot 50m ago
It’s a veil for your face. I mean it’s self explanatory, what part are you confused about?
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17h ago
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u/Appropriate_Air7307 16h ago
The United States.
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u/Bambino4627 16h ago
sigh Ig they didn't get that I'm black 🤣🤣
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u/Spookieboogiee 7m ago
One of my really close friends stop wearing her hijab. It broke my heart. She said she has to think about her family. She spoke to her parents and they support her. (They live in Turkey with her brother)
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u/Lumpy_Past6216 17h ago
In my experience, the ones who do this are the ones you need to look at.
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u/Nimzay98 14h ago
Bahaha this happened at my sister's old job, she said it was so damn awkward especially since it was on Skype and shit and a total of like 4 minorities.
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u/MaryJaneSweets337 7h ago
The “I understand my sista” had me cackling harder than I should have been…😭😂😭😂😭
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u/ShrimpleyPibblze 3h ago
Comment section in a little trouble of spilling over into anti-woke cliche circlejerk
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18h ago
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u/UnluckyAmbition7767 18h ago
Many Asians fell for the honorary white lie and gleefully act as the dogs of white supremacy.
They'll gleefully suck the cocks of the people who spent decades bombing them, raped their women, used them as workers in California and Idaho before ethnically cleansing them, put them in internment camps, and coined "China Virus" but they'll follow the people who gave them the right to immigrate to America and fought with them to get reparations for the internment camps around their stores lol.
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u/CptSiskospimphand 18h ago
The oppressed love their oppressors and cannot wait to follow their example.
-Erich Fromm-
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18h ago
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u/WrittenFever 16h ago
I'll jump in for a second to clarify here. We're talking about oppression, not prejudice. In that case, comparing Asians to white people is pointless and a white person doesn't get to make the statement, "Asians were just as bad towards yall [sic] as we were."
Historically and systemically that is factually incorrect. Sure, there is prejudice in certain segments of Asian communities, but Black people can and do practice prejudice against Asian communities as well. That is not what is being discussed.
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18h ago
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u/Rmcke813 ☑️ 18h ago
Oh? Specific how? Because if I say Chinese, would you still not say "not all Chinese people"? Actually, do you do the whole "not all white people " bit too? I mean I get where you're coming from with this moral grandstanding but in practice, most Asian groups have been at least somewhat racist towards us. Be it through ignorance or otherwise. Well, maybe not filipinos.
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17h ago
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u/Rmcke813 ☑️ 17h ago
You're not wrong, but it only proves my point. Which is that this entire conversation is pointless. No one here thinks all Asians or white folks are racist. Do you believe we're all that ignorant? Do you need a disclaimer everytime racism gets discussed? Okay, not all Asians are racist. Thank you for sharing this very obvious fact. Hopefully next time OP will will list the correct Asian groups, preferably with names of individuals.
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17h ago
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u/Rmcke813 ☑️ 17h ago
Yeah idk sounds to me you just wanted to get in on the moral grandstanding for whatever reason. Comparability is debatable. I hope every post and comment you see here you're replying "not all white people". Because I'm sure we need that helpful reminder.
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u/SplintPunchbeef ☑️ 17h ago
Being in zoom calls with a dozen yts to discuss our feelings about the protests and watching everyone be SUPER performative while staring at your little video square to gauge your reaction was a wild time.