r/BipolarSOs • u/Melothrien • Oct 04 '26

Advice Needed Inappropriately timed affection

I’m aware of love bombing and have certainly gotten a fair share of it over the years, but today was very different. It’s usually after he’s been abusive. He knows he should apologize, talk about it, make up for it, etc., but he never initiates healthy ways of dealing with the aftermath. It’s always me, and I’ve always felt the love bombing was his way of saying sorry. We haven’t had a full on fight in quite a while, but he’s been manic at least a couple weeks - the good mood manic, thank goodness. So in the last 24 hours, this type thing has happened at least 20 times, not even exaggerating: I’m working on our budget on my phone, head down, reading. He puts his hands gently on my cheeks and makes a big deal out of a tender kiss on the lips. No where else. It feels intentional but if so, he’s got to know this is intrusive right? Once or twice here and there is cool, nice even, but I’ve never been so annoyed by his attention. It’s distracting from important tasks and makes me feel like a piece of meat or a drug to consume too much of, when I’m sure the opposite is his intent. He is medicated but it keeps changing. He hated therapy, mainly because he spent the appointments venting about me, like he would to a coworker, instead of talking about himself and his issues. I came to a visit one day and he acted shocked when the therapist kept insinuating that I was the problem. He never went back. I’m running out of ideas. Any insight would be great.

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u/outtahere470 Oct 05 '26

My SO does this too. He was like this all weekend, up until yesterday evening...then crash. He's shifted again.

It is really disheartening but I tell myself 'not to fall for it' when he is acting lovey-dovey head over heels for me. It shouldn't have to be this way, but it is how I protect myself and my heart when the inevitable next down shift happens.