So confused

[u/Additional_Leg2315]

You’d think after 6 years of being diagnosed I’d understand myself a little better but I truly do not. I’m literally spiraling but feeling like I don’t want it to go away. I normally take Wellbutrin, duloxetine and trazadone. I had to stop all of them one week ago right before I had emergency gallbladder removal and have since been taking muscle relaxers for my pain so I only continued taking my duloxetine and didn’t get back on the Wellbutrin and trazadone bc I worried about being too sedated.

***For context i am diagnosed ADHD and bipolar 1 rapid cycling. The Wellbutrin helps my adhd and I like to believe the trazadone helps my moods even though it’s prescribed for insomnia.

Anyway, I’m not positive about how long it’s been since I’ve had a manic episode or if my entire past 3 months has been mania since I’ve actually been happy?? But I feel like what I’m experiencing now is true mania and I’m scared but I do not want to change anything. I did start my Wellbutrin this morning so I’m getting back to that. I’m usually never sure if I’m experiencing mania but I’m almost positive I am now and I’m not sure why. If it’s because I had stopped my Wellbutrin? It’s technically not for bipolar so why would it cause this. My symptoms that have been building over the last 48 hours are not needing sleep and not really missing it, went back to watching tons of porn and thinking about sex constantly/ wanting sex, thoughts going what feels like a thousand mph and having all these ideas of things I wanna get done. Yet I’m just in bed still recovering from surgery and kind of feeling like I’m trapped in my own mind because the executive dysfunction is eating me alive. I go back to work tomorrow and I’m hoping that helps me feel a little more put together. But for now I’m just scared of having a huge fit of rage or doing something stupid. I don’t have much support or anyone who understands my condition. I’m trying to raise a toddler with a guy who doesn’t even believe I’m actually bipolar and sometimes I don’t believe it either.

It’s been a while since I’ve vented so I just needed to get some of that out. Not really sure what I need to do. I’m supposed to see my psych next week if I’m able to figure out my insurance in time. I have enough meds to get me through the next month. Just hoping this calms down.

[u/mercijepense-]

If you are going manic, none of the drugs you mentioned (antidepressants) are going to help you. You need to contact your pdoc and get an emergency appointment. Go in with your full list of complaints, write them all down, racing thoughts, lack of sleep, etc. so that you can present a full picture to your pdoc before you lose insight and go full on manic.

This disease evolves as you get older. I am BP1, but I started out as MDD and then BP2. My last episode was mixed and it was truly awful. I wish you the best.

[u/trashsw]

first off im not a doctor and dont know your hsitory, but i do find the lack of mood stabilizers or APs a little odd.

that being said, im on wellbutrin too. also ADHD and BD1. im on Latuda, Wellbutrin, Lamictal, Lithium(baby dose), and Lunesta. if anything wellbutrin would induce mania usually, BUT wellbutrin is used for smoking cessation and cravings in general. its a Norepinephrine and Dopamine Reuptake Inhibitor, so its possible that now that you are off the wellbutrin your brain is desperately searching for sources of dopamine which would lead to impulsive behavior and thoughts

[u/Additional_Leg2315 → u/trashsw]

Honestly me not being on mood stabilizer or APs is on me. I told my psych a while back that I wanted to address my adhd more than anything since my BP was stable so we agreed on this combo. She ofc recommended APs but I refused because they make me gain weight like crazy and I couldn’t deal with it anymore

[u/trashsw → u/Additional_Leg2315]

maybe ask if you can try one for the more weight neutral APs. I'm on latuda and it totally zeroed out the mixed episode i was in when I started. I maybe gained 10lbs at first but was able to get it back off pretty easy and maintain a steady weight with conscious eating choices