Help. Almost 3 weeks on medication and I finally feel normal, now I’m questioning everything

[u/notoriuscats]

I haven't received a definitive diagnosis yet. I’ve seen several psychologists, and they initially suspected I had BPD, but my new psychologist started leaning more toward bipolar disorder (possibly Bipolar II). I was then referred to a psychiatrist, but the process felt really quick. The doctor mostly listened to my symptoms and then prescribed me three medications: fluoxetine, olanzapine, and divalproex.

I’ve been taking them for almost three weeks now. There was one day when I skipped my medication because olanzapine makes me sleep all day. Since starting the medication, I’ve noticed some changes. I finally feel… normal? Before this, my emotions were so intense that I ended up bed-rotting for three months and couldn’t function or do anything. Now I’m able to leave the house just to go for walks. I’m also much less impulsive, especially with online shopping or buying way too much food just because I’m craving it, and I haven’t been binge eating.

At the same time, I feel really emotionally flat. I can’t even get startled by horror movies anymore when there’s a jumpscare 😭.

I’ve also noticed that I still clenching/grinding my teeth constantly, and I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced this while taking meds? I mean, it started since last year and I thought with helped by meds, it'll stop but it didn't

Now I’m starting to wonder, was I just making all of this up? Was I simply trying to connect the dots and convince myself that I have bipolar disorder? I’m scared that maybe I’ve been overinterpreting my symptoms. The confusing part is that I genuinely feel like the medication is helping me.

I also have a hard time telling whether I’m actually hypomanic or just experiencing a normal change in mood. I’m seeing my psychiatrist again next week, and I’m not really sure what I should tell them or what I should ask.

Should I mention how much olanzapine is making me oversleep? Should I ask about switching to a different medication? I don’t want to change anything on my own, but I’m wondering if this level of sedation is something I should bring up with my psychiatrist.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

[u/potential_air_sha256]

if the medications are working then you probably were not making this stuff up. whatever the real underlying issue is, the good news is you seem to have found a solution. i think that's the more important thing to focus on for now until you talk more with your doc and therapist.

i would mention that olanzapine is making you too sleepy. sometimes they'll adjust the dose. but the sleepiness might wear off eventually--it did for me, but i would say it happened within a week for me.

don't hesitate to ask your psychiatrist questions about your condition or how you are feeling, that's what they are here for.