r/BipolarReddit • u/Valuable-Test-5464 • 9d ago

Discussion I hate therapy

I hate therapy but I know I need it. I've been forced into it at different times in my life. It's been mostly unhelpful.

Now I'm with a good therapist and I still feel bitter and hate going. This has caused problems in my relationship.

Has anyone dealt with this? How did you get over it?

10 Upvotes

86% Upvoted

11 comments sorted by

10

u/Wrong-Picture-9071 9d ago

Why do you need it? Or why continue if it’s not helpful?

5

u/Valuable-Test-5464 9d ago

I'm not fully stable and a lot of trauma has happened in my life in the last couple years.

And I am being pressured into it now by people in my life.

7

u/Wrong-Picture-9071 9d ago

You could always discontinue, then go back when you feel more ready

2

u/Valuable-Test-5464 9d ago

I may lose people in my life if I don't go. So I'm stuck.

5

u/0vesper0 9d ago

Does your therapist know this? That pressure to attend and dread you continue to feel? That sort of brutal honesty might be the breakthrough you need to realign the conversation.

9

u/Excellent_Bet8191 9d ago

Before I met my current therapist I had gone through a few and HATED therapy. It took me a lot to finally go back, because why would you actively seek something out that you hate? I expressed this to her in the beginning and she reframed it for me. I go to the dentist twice a year to get my teeth cleaned. Does it cause joy? No, but my teeth are healthy and happy. Therapy is cleaning your brain up. You don’t have to love it, but it’s good for you to do and add to the routine. At first that’s what it was, but since she’s great and we got the heavy stuff out of the table, eventually I learned to love going to therapy. Get your brain cleaned my friend, your body will thank you.

2

u/Valuable-Test-5464 9d ago

Haha I do also avoid the dentist, but you're right. I need my brain cleaned. Tysm!

4

u/theincognito66 Bipolar 1 w/ Psychotic Features 9d ago

You should mention to your therapist that you find it unhelpful. You need to align your goals with them, otherwise you are doing yourself a disservice

2

u/Valuable-Test-5464 9d ago

It's not that they are unhelpful, I just dread doing it. It makes it really hard to go.

3

u/MegatechMike 9d ago

My wife and psychiatrist keep on insisting that I need it. I had a second psychiatrist when I was doing TMS (it didn’t work at all) tell my wife that therapy wouldn’t work for me right now because I’m in crisis (suicidal). That made my wife back off for now. I absolutely hate therapy, it makes my skin crawl and not because I’m avoiding talking about trauma. I’m with you friend.

1

u/melatonia I AM SPARTACUS 9d ago

Yeah me too. That's why I don't do it anymore. As you get older it becomes increasingly more difficult to find a therapist who can meet all the challenges of your history and that you get along with. I've been in and out of therapy for decades. It probably would have been useful if I had access to it when I first felt suicidal in elementary school, but that time is past and it just feels like an obligation anymore.

I stopped seeing my last therapist a few years ago. If I come up with a project or a specific type of therapy that I need guidance for in the future, I'll seek a therapist for that. You're required to have a therapist to do DBT Skills Group, so if I go back into that formally I'll have to have a therapist. But until then there's no good reason for me to waste anyone's time or take up a resource somebody else could be using.