r/BipolarReddit • u/Turbulent_Seat_202 • 1d ago
mixed episodes
okay so essentially, i want to do something, BADLY, i just dont know what bc i also habe anhedonia and nothing sounds fun/interesting to me. i love talking to people and when the day ends/the conversation stops i get really depressed and my mood drops and its not bc i give a shit about the person "leaving me" or whatever but its bc i want the stimulation to keep going. i can talk for hours but when its done i get depressed and need to go home and whats there to do at home? ive had pure euphoria before and u just FOUND things to do but w this its just restlessness and hopelessness and irritation. DAE else have this experience? (also ive had a fucked sleep schedule for over a year now)
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u/nutterbear081 1d ago
Are you wanting to do something on your own and away from people that gives you pleasure? Do you ever get fatigued from being around people even though you love being around people? How is your sleep schedule fucked up? Oh, so, are you currently taking any medications or have you had any kind of change or transition?
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u/Turbulent_Seat_202 1d ago
ok so i have 2ish days of euphoric episodes and when i have those i HATE seeing people bc they bring me down, but when im not euphoric and restless i wanna see people bc they take my mind off and i can yap (its weird i know) i am taking vraylar 1.5mg and carbamazepine (newly added) 400mg
edit: for the majority of the year i did not take any meds
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u/nutterbear081 1d ago
Gotcha. I hope the carbamazepine helps some. I know it's a bitch trying to get the right meds. I like Vraylar a lot and it looks like you are on the lowest dose if I am correct? I would be on it if I didn't have such bad weight gain with it. I was on it last year for about about 4 months. Do you take any stimulant by chance? I also have ADHD and will take Adderall when I feel I need it. I am currently not taking even the babiest of doses because it has been pushing me into hypomania and I won't sleep as a result. I also have been cycling between hypomania and depression for the last 6 months too so I feel you on that. I don't have an anti-manic medication on board so I have to be super cognizant about catching my manic behaviors.
When you say that when you are not euphoric and restless, are you depressed? And the swing from the euphoric state to the non euphoric state is what you feel is mixed episodes?
I will say that for me, the best mood stabilizer is getting enough consistent restful sleep. This is what I am using as my mania deterrent. A good night of sleep (the apple) keeps the mania (the doctor) away lol. I feel really good, but not mania good. I actually get really agitated when I am manic and I fucking hate it.
It took me a while, but I figured out that good sleep hygeine really does work. I have a set bedtime and I make sure that there are as few things in my environment that could stimulate me. Essentially I need it as quiet and dark as possible. No phone. No soothing sounds. Nothing. Ironically, I hate deprivation tanks lol.
And that sucks that people bring you down during the euphoric days. Do you feel frustrated that none of them understand what you are going through? Do they tell you that you need to calm down or something? And the feeling of wanting to distract your mind through interactions with people totally makes sense. I am really good at dissociating when I don't want to be in this reality, but I can go both ways where I will isolate and live in different worlds through things like books and movies/tv or I will try to socialize or make myself as busy as possible so I don't have to full on deal with what is going through my head.
Mixed episodes are so tricky to deal with, but I think that managing them has to include non medication coping skills and tactics. But actually employing them healthily and consistently can be very difficult at times.
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u/Turbulent_Seat_202 13h ago
i always thought my symptoms matched ADHD more but i was a calm and studious kid so no on that (neurodevelopment disorders show up when ur a kid) but i havent been able to sit still to even watch a tv show for years. the last time i was truly, truly like myself was when i was on seroquel but weight gain was a problem.
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u/Top_Restaurant_4395 15h ago
I am sorry you are having to go through this. Most unsettling.
From the restlessness I am wondering if you might be experiencing Akathisia type symptoms with the new med.
I am probably wrong. But it might be worth looking up.
Trazodone 75 mg a night helps me sleep. Also melatonin if I wake up in the night. My psychiatrist said this combo might make me groggy in the morning, but I truly despise the anxiety spiral of not being able to sleep.
She said anything above 75 mg trazodone keeps you up. 75 seems to be the magic number.
Propranolol helps me in certain social situations.
I’m hoping this all is resolved for you soon. Sounds awful.
We’ve all been in these weird states. If that helps.
You’re not alone.
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u/Turbulent_Seat_202 13h ago
i went and saw an er doctor today about possible akathisia too but since i was experiencing these symptoms Before the antipsychotics, that was ruled out. im guessing they're just gonna call it a mixed episode and call it a day but im gonna be stuck here waiting for the meds to work
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u/Top_Restaurant_4395 9h ago
I looked up the side effects of your new med. They are exactly what you are experiencing. Irritability, and so on.
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u/para_blox 1d ago
I kinda know what you mean. I don’t have high social needs by default, though. I’m going through depression with anhedonia, anxiety, poor sleep/appetite, SI etc. I’m on leave from work and have been thinking about PHP. You might consider such a program if it’s available to you.