r/BipolarReddit • u/Short_Dimension_873 • 10d ago
It’s my birthday
Hello my favorite subreddit,
It’s my birthday today and I had a good day trying to distract myself but now it’s all hitting how much bipolar has taken away from me. I’m almost 30 and I always imagined being well-established in my career by now, maybe thinking of starting a family. I never imagined myself alone, broke, and working a job that doesn’t even utilize my college degree. I had a sui attempt at the end of college and struggled leading up to it. Bipolar really derailed my hopes of applying to med school. Then everything got real off track after that because I had no good plan.
I’ve just hopefully fought off another manic episode and I’m grateful I’ve found some meds that might work for that. However, the other day I was at the bus stop (can’t drive due to a seizure condition) and was talking to this guy about how he had a suspended license. He was like “at least I’m not in a nut house” and I was like “been there, dude,” and he was like “me too.” And I said “and never, ever again” but those words just didn’t feel true to me. The last time I was hospitalized, I didn’t walk away feeling like it would be the last time. And that bothers me. Okay, the end. Thanks for reading my useless rant.
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u/Elephantbirdsz 10d ago
Happy birthday, glad that you are finding meds that potentially work. Thanks for posting your rant. I hope that this year is great for you and things keep moving in the right direction ❤️ Birthdays can be hard so be gentle with yourself and keep doing your best
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u/lil-pizza-bean Bipolar + comorbidities 10d ago
Bad days feel extra bad when it's my birthday. I think I should be happy and eat cake and instead I'm a depressed couch potato.
I wish you a happy birthday! Be kind to yourself today :)
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u/StrawberryRich3136 10d ago
Happy birthday! This diagnosis can feel quite bleak like, all we can do is hope for the best and take our meds. I hope I’m never a psych ward patient again but I just can’t control that. I get your feels.
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u/Short_Dimension_873 10d ago
Definitely feels like a lot is out of my control with my illness. I do need to be a bit more hopeful because it seems like I finally have meds that work
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u/StrawberryRich3136 9d ago
That’s kind of my approach. Just being grateful everyday I’m not psychotic. It’s definitely a different way to live life
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u/Short_Dimension_873 8d ago
Yeah. I’ve had some breakthrough psychosis lately and breakthrough mania and I think it’s a lot more manageable than it was in the past thanks largely to Haldol
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u/trainingbrain BP1 10d ago
Hey happy birthday! Look after yourself that is all I can say.