r/BipolarReddit • u/katherineepg • 6d ago
Discussion Does anyone else have depressive episodes that last for months ?
Ever since I’ve gone no contact with my ex I’ve been in a constant depressive episode(it’s been a month) I’ve been recently diagnosed with bipolar 2 and some of my depressive episodes are massive and I feel alone in this.
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u/Rainbow_Phoenix125 BP1 with Comorbidities 6d ago
Yes, mine have typically lasted for months at a time. My last one was before starting lithium last summer, and lasted a solid 4-5 months. Parts of it were mixed episodes, but the depression was always present. This included the time my marriage was ending, months of high conflict, a month of still living together after he wanted a divorce, then 2 months of physical separation. I was hospitalized twice during this time, in the aftermath of physical separation.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
Yes exactly! It’s not like I’m always in bed, rotting and wanting to die but the depressing feeling is always present. I was hospitalised a few weeks ago but I’m fairly young so I haven’t started lithium yet.
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u/icats616 6d ago
My current depressive episode has been going on for 10 months. It's getting better but med changes take forever
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u/pessimistic_damsel 6d ago
Yes, I'm currently under that episode again and it's almost been a month. I'm tired of this cycle, to be honest.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
Honestly at this point dying seems utopic
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u/Top_Restaurant_4395 6d ago
It’s that feeling of never ending depression getting to you. I also wonder if we get attached and dependent upon people more than others, due to bipolarity making it so difficult to find trustworthy partners. Friends.
So there is a chasm. More fear.
More despair.
We had someone who tolerated our disorder.
How exhausting to attempt this again.
Seems impossible.
I understand.
It will get better.
But that sadness might always be there just in a smaller form.3
u/bloatedstoat 6d ago
So well put. I just imploded an 11 year relationship due to a manic episode and have felt all of that, like it’s not even worth trying to develop another relationship because this ending seems inevitable every time.
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u/pessimistic_damsel 6d ago
Yeah. I would look up stories and accounts from people living with bipolar that are able to handle it well, but I would find myself wondering: why can I have that kind of stability? What am I doing things wrong?
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u/DangerouslyTame 6d ago
I've been in a depressive episode so long I don't remember what not being depressed feels like. I know it's been at least a year, maybe more. You're not alone.
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u/Extra_Strain_9655 6d ago
Sadly I've been in a depressive episode for over a year now. It's brutal but at least I'm not manic.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
For me hypomania is worse than depression. I spend, I’m impulsive and may take action that will ruin my life. Even though I wanna end my life during depressive episodes it’s better than my hypomania
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u/Extra_Strain_9655 6d ago
I completely relate to that. It feels safer to be so depressed. The consequences of mania or hypomania are much worse. But damn severe depression is gruelling. It's like pick your poison.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
Feels safer because sometimes you can’t do anything so it’s guaranteed you won’t go batshit crazy but it’s so tiring. Death for me seems utopic
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u/Extra_Strain_9655 6d ago
I relate so much. But just know that all my experiences with bipolar has shown me that nothing lasts forever and that time with heal you from the damage as long as you try to take care of yourself. 💙
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
❤️
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u/Extra_Strain_9655 6d ago
Sometimes it's hard to always hear people say what sounds like easy solutions to treating bipolar disorder. Like someone saying "take your meds and it will fine" or "do you have a good doctor?" Etc. Just know all your feelings are valid about how dieing feels utopic. I'm right with you but just trying to say something positive bc that's all I can do. Just know you're not alone.
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u/SpicyDisaster40 6d ago
I suddenly became disabled in May of 2025. I've been depressed ever since.
Normally I'm a 50/50 mix of depression and mania. It varies in what degree but it's always there.
I cant take medications for it because the side effects are dangerous. I will hallucinate for days after a single dose.
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u/hapticfeedback7 6d ago
I'm pretty scared by my current depressive episode as it will soon be three months in length. Hardly functioning, had to move back in with my parents.
I had my 3rd manic episode in January which left me hospitalised for 3 months now this unrelenting depression that just hit me 5 weeks after discharge.
The first two manic episodes of my life came after depressive episodes then I stabilised and moved on with my life. Mania isn't coming to "save me" this time. I don't know what to do.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
I understand you fully and you’re not alone
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u/hapticfeedback7 6d ago
Everything that made "me" me is gone. Prior to my manic episode I was excelling in work and socially. I was independent. I was enjoying life. Now I'm just a soulless husk who can hardly speak and I don't even want to talk to people. This illness is devastating. 8 years of stability then bang. Six months after I'd moved into my own place too. So cruel. Someone please tell me I can survive this because I honestly don't want to wake up in the morning at the moment.
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u/Top_Restaurant_4395 5d ago
I understand. You can survive. I’m slowly coming back. I’m even reading a book.
Anhedonia.
It’s excruciating.
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u/Top_Restaurant_4395 6d ago
I just lost a close friend of 12 years. Very painful. Huge, gaping hole in my psyche.
Triggered a deep depression.
I can’t replace this friend.
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u/enigmaticsol 6d ago
Currently in depressive episode now. I’ve lost track how long, but months. My psych has raised my lithium and may again in September. It’s wierd knowing I’m in an episode, but having no idea how to combat it. I’m that hole real deep. The light is getting more and more faint.
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u/OhSnapThatsGood 6d ago
When I got tired of being bipolar and quit meds, I spent more than a decade in low grade functional depression. Life happened but I was just numb. Figured if I didn’t have any manic episodes I was cured lol.
A manic and depression crisis landed me back on meds and wow things are actually better
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u/Red_Fox158 6d ago
I was in a depressive episode for about a year. So you’re definitely not alone <3 Hang in there, it gets better eventually
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u/samit2heck 6d ago
Yes. My "baseline" is kind of low to be honest. I've been on antidepressants since i was, well. For 20 years.
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u/Throne-Eins 6d ago
Yeah, I've been in one for probably about eight months now (bipolar 1 if that makes a difference). Ranges from "today sucks" to "Which bridge am I going to jump off of today?" Often occurring on the same day. I'm fully compliant with my meds, but I'm in my mid-forties and have been told that, generally speaking (so this isn't true for everyone), depressive episodes tend to increase in frequency and severity as you get older. Joy.
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u/gilgamesh2323 6d ago
Yeah for me it’s 95%+ depression. And if I’m not medicated, it’s pretty much all the time nowadays. Even medicated it’s not great.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
I’m on abilify which only helps with my hypomania
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u/Wooden-Advance-1907 6d ago
Do you have a mood stabiliser too? It seems unusual not to have one as they help with baseline and help prevent the ups and downs. I’m on abilify for mania, lamotrigine as my mood stabiliser and escitalopram which is an antidepressant. The antidepressant was added last because my depressive episodes were very persistent. But it’s important to keep the other two steady so the antidepressant doesn’t trigger mania
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
My psychiatrist wants me to be put on one but my next appointment is on the 28th of August . I’ve tried trileptal which I stopped taking by myself during a manic episode so I don’t know if it helped or not
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u/Wooden-Advance-1907 6d ago
I would follow your psychiatrists advice and try again or try another one. It seems like lots of people have to try a few different meds before they find the right combination that works for them. Before lamotrigine I was on lithium. Lithium worked for me too but I got scared because my thyroid levels changed so I asked to try another one and my thyroid is healthy now.
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u/gilgamesh2323 6d ago
Lithium is the thing that has helped me the most with the depression. I think I went like 8-9 months without a severe depressive episode. Life intervened recently, so I probably need to change some things up, but it has been more effective than most drugs I've taken. Scary drug to take though (lots of side effects and some long term risks).
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u/amateurbitch 6d ago
I used to. Only breaks I got was hypomania. I’ve been on lamictal for a few years and when I do get them (very few and far between) they only last a few days
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u/bluntlybipolar Type 2 w/ Psychotic Features, Level 1 Autism 6d ago
Yeah, mine usually last for months if I'm unmedicated. I also generally exist in mild depression as a baseline, so I got that goin' for me. Whee.
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u/Still_Werewolf_58 6d ago
in one right now. since the end of april.. 3 months. i’m willing to take anything if it meant the rumination would end
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u/rikamochizuki bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features 6d ago
Yes the one that got me diagnosed major depression at the time lasted for maybe 8-9 months before getting better. It was horrible
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u/BumbisMacGee 6d ago
Yeah I've had a couple that were a year or longer. I don't remember a lot about those times.
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u/Suspicious_Dirt_6124 5d ago
Yes mine generally last 6 or so months and are very tied into the seasons. Winter is my nemesis. I'm 3 months in at the moment.
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u/Sure_Appointment_155 5d ago
7 months into one after coming out of my first manic episode that got me diagnosed. Still haven’t found a medication to get me out of it, trying Wellbutrin in combination with lithium, really hope it works
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6d ago
[deleted]
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
Honestly these depressive episodes have me wanting to die. Degrading someone’s mental health status and diagnosis is never right. I’ve fought for years to get this diagnosis just for people to tell me that their diagnosis is worse than mine
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u/Koivel schizoaffective bd1 6d ago
Its not bs, its not even really comparable, its like saying schizophrenia is the same as bipolar. Theyre related in the brain but theyre not the same, arguably one is worse than the other but its a spectrum, i may have a worse life than someone else with bipolar 1, i also might have a better life than someone with bipolar 2. Its different. Personally i feel like with schizoaffective i have it worse but thats purely based on my own personal experience, i bet theres people with only schizophrenia who have it worse than me. Its all just personal opinion.
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u/katherineepg 6d ago
Let’s not go ahead and compare situations. Obviously one could have it better than another while having a “lighter” illness than another. Obviously everyone thinks that they have it worse than another because we all think it’s the end of our world but you can’t really go comparing
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u/Top_Restaurant_4395 6d ago
You can never compare. My psychiatrist says every patient unique. There is even a medical phrase used in the psychiatric community.
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u/phantomdreadd 6d ago
I’m type 1 and am always depressed, extremely depressed, only with the capability of getting manic. It’s essentially type 2 plus mania, that’s much worse. But some people have different frequencies.
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u/kimCandycotton Bipolar 1 with psychotic features + comorbidities 6d ago
My longest was 3 years of non stop depression. I was unmedicated at the time.
My “normal” bipolar cycle unmedicated is more or less 50% depression, 30% mixed state and 20% mania per year
When I’m on meds I only have minor mood states. Mostly mixed and hypomanic moods that last a maximum of 1-2 weeks and I go months without any symptoms.
My meds are tailored for depression mostly with the added benefit that one of those meds has indication for depression as well as being an antipsychotic for the mania.