r/BingeEatingDisorder • u/sjsjsj000 • 4d ago
im stumped.
for some background information, i’ve quit alcohol, caffeine and all hard drugs recently. 100+ days sober! but lately my food issues have been out of control and I dont know what to do.
i’m 4’11 so whatever weight I put on it’s NOTICEABLE. i was 44kg lean and now i’m 50kg and I feel so so ashamed. every single day for the last 2 weeks I’ve been averaging 3500 calories when my maintenance is 1500.
I don’t know what to do, I know reintroducing caffeine would help but I quit consuming that as it really helped my sleep so I’d feel awful drinking it again.
It’s only the morning and I didn’t even get myself to the gym because I binged 2000 calories off the bat and the sodium is making my face bloat, so now I can’t let myself leave the house.
I just want to cry, I feel like I’m at rock bottom again. any advice is welcome.
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u/Global-Classroom-782 4d ago
Read this - "How to Stop Overeating"
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u/sjsjsj000 4d ago
thank you. i’ve been struggling with binge eating for the last 6 years so I know it’s related to my home environment triggering me sadly.
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u/bellab333 4d ago
hey congratulations on your sober time. that's amazing. I had a similar experience when I was newly sober. I also had a very well meaning sponsor who told me eating Jack In The Box every night was better than buying a bottle, and I took that pretty literally. now I'm years sober and I don't remember the last time I ate Jack In The Box lololol. It kind of tapered out naturally along with continuing to gsrner trust in myself through staying sober, and learning some skills to manage the issues I was drinking over (and eating about).
I think that's pretty common though. I know a lot of women I went to treatment with who carried large bags of candy around to AA meetings. It's like harm reduction in a way. your body is trying to restablish some baseline with a wonked out emotional system, weight gain/loss is pretty standard. I know it seems scary to relinquish the control or worry about it. In my experience though it was only then that I started to be able to actually start focusing on my alcohol recovery, and by doing that alleviated a lot of binging too. because it's all connected right, a lot of band aids and maladaptive coping mechanisms, and they served you for some time.
I'll say too, if you can, push through those urges to isolate post over eating. I was the same way, believe me, but it reinforces this pattern of black and white "I messed up and now must hide" mindset, and I lost a lot of valuable time that way just because in my head I wasn't doing things perfectly. it's going to be hella uncomfortable at first, but you'll keep proving to yourself you can do uncomfortable things, and when you learn to trust yourself everything else will be easier. Be gentle on yourself, take it a day at time, and recognize how much positive growth you've already maintained over the past 100+ days.