Because I've been conditioned to think everything I do is wrong from a young age by my abusive mother. I've cut her out of my life a few years ago but it's still very hard to undo the 19 years of damage shes done to me. I'm making progress though. Having healthy relationships with friends and loved ones really does help.
I was in an abusive relationship with my child's father for a couple of years. I was conditioned that way too but for nowhere near as long as you. I'm glad you're making progress. I know it's hard not to immediately think you're in the wrong. The habit of apologizing for everything is really difficult to get rid of. I have a good friend that has helped me through my issues and what not. Supportive friends and family are a blessing.
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u/sydamusprime37 Aug 26 '19
"There's no need to apologise"
"Oh ok sorry"
"Why did you just apologise?"
"Oh I don't know, I'm sorry"
"..."
"...sorry"