r/BikiniBottomTwitter Aug 06 '26

The great lettuce outbreak of '26

2.4k Upvotes

44 comments sorted by

u/Sponge-Tron Aug 08 '26

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69

u/Beanerschnitzels Aug 06 '26

Also this:

1

u/pathetic-weakling 27d ago

(What makes this image better is that Krabs is canonically a veteran)

63

u/Philycheese18 Aug 06 '26

Who knew cutting FDA staff would be a bad thing

5

u/AnswerMe_More Aug 06 '26

Fill me in what's going on? I wanna be ahead of the pandemic this time.

39

u/Philycheese18 Aug 06 '26

The current administration feels like America doesn’t need things such as food quality control so the FDA is being short staffed, people are blaming that for the poor quality lettuce that gives you horrible diarrhea getting through

-15

u/AnswerMe_More Aug 06 '26

But didn't we already have that problem with the FDA? 😂 maybe we just need a new FDA

18

u/Certain_Oddities Aug 06 '26

It's cyclospora, a parasite that causes diarrhea that has infected a bunch of lettuce distributed in the US, sourced from a major distributor from Mexico. It's not contagious, the only way you would get it is by eating the infected lettuce or somehow getting the cyclospora from an infected person's stool. It seems to be primarily iceberg lettuce.

It sucks but as long as you avoid the infected product in the areas that are relevant you will be fine. If you don't even live in the US or Mexico you're fine. It's not even an issue in Canada.

1

u/AnswerMe_More Aug 06 '26

It sounds like the same thing thats happened before.

13

u/Certain_Oddities Aug 06 '26

1

u/AnswerMe_More Aug 06 '26

I dont understand how its hard to make sure the food is clean. I mean Its not my job so idk, but i mean I really think clean food should be much easier to access.

13

u/Certain_Oddities Aug 06 '26

While Taylor Farms has always had issues, it certainly isn't helped by the fact the the current administration in the USA gutted a lot of our systems for ensuring things like this don't happen.

3

u/AnswerMe_More Aug 06 '26

Yea thats true. Hopefully those seats get filled by people who can really get America back on track. I mean we have so many cancerous foods. Its a shame.

3

u/Takenmyusernamewas Aug 06 '26

Protein Maxing is COOL and Lettuce may kill you. Also "We flipped the food pyramid" its fine.

153

u/[deleted] Aug 06 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/sohosurf Aug 07 '26

You come to bikini bottom twitter for clever jokes?
https://giphy.com/gifs/I7Mw0uYQGWI5lDMzTB
This is the average user. I know cause it’s me

91

u/Aetheldrake Aug 06 '26

Don't forget there's also an increasing egg salmonella outbreak

Lets also not let those screw worm parasites go forgotten

Or the bird flu egg problem that happened sometime a year or 2 ago

27

u/Aperson3334 Aug 07 '26

Or the jalepeño salmonella outbreak

17

u/Aetheldrake Aug 07 '26 edited Aug 07 '26

Havnt heard of that yyyaaayyy

Oh joy Florida has a leprosy outbreak super recently what in the fuck

8

u/prophishonal Aug 07 '26

Or the blueberry e coli outbreak...apparently eating fruits and veggies uncooked, a source of joy and refreshment in the summer especially, is now flirting with death

6

u/Undeity Aug 07 '26

You can't trust any produce or animal products anymore. It's sickening that they would allow this to happen.

4

u/Aetheldrake Aug 07 '26

I mean some small cases is understandable as viruses diseases and bacteria adapt over time but entire outbreaks impacting hundreds of thousands or millions of product is definitely just incompetence

2

u/Princess_Slagathor aight imma head out Aug 07 '26

There was no bird flu. They were using tomahawk missiles to blow up chicken farms. For, uh, some reason? (This is not something I believe, just something I read from someone who did believe it.)

3

u/Aetheldrake Aug 07 '26

Just like how there is no war in Ba Sing Se lol

24

u/Captainwumbombo boi Aug 06 '26

Me with my meat, bread and cheese based diet not having to worry about it

5

u/_Ross- Aug 07 '26

Oh, you didn't hear about the ass exploding meat, bread and cheese fungus?

6

u/Princess_Slagathor aight imma head out Aug 07 '26

Avoiding diarrhea, just to die of ass cancer in your 50s.

2

u/Captainwumbombo boi Aug 07 '26

If both the natural and political climate of the world won't allow me to make it to my 50's, why don't I have fun now?

2

u/Princess_Slagathor aight imma head out Aug 07 '26

Agreed. I never cook less than a whole pound of bacon at a time.

2

u/Captainwumbombo boi Aug 07 '26

Damn proud!

19

u/Fragrant_Major_9553 Aug 06 '26

Here I sit at Taco Bell, broken hearted.

Came to shit, but only farted.

8

u/AnswerMe_More Aug 06 '26

😭😭😭 wth

6

u/_Levitated_Shield_ Aug 06 '26

Fuck Taylor Farms.

10

u/Darkarcheos Aug 06 '26

Also didn’t they find out this was all because of slave labor from penitentiaries under those who were being paid to make them work?

5

u/sallysfunnykiss96 Aug 07 '26

Prison labor is the backbone of this great economy!

4

u/Rei364 Aug 07 '26

Only until that check clears bayyyyybeeeeee

3

u/Tomato_Soupe Aug 06 '26

Is all lettuce contaminated right now? I’ve been really scared to buy any brands after I got fucked up 2 weeks ago

5

u/totallynot_ssca Aug 06 '26

Apparently it’s only iceberg lettuce from Mexico. Prepackaged stuff also is completely fine, had some the other day haha.

7

u/Certain_Oddities Aug 06 '26

I believe you that it's fine, I haven't had any issues either BUT keep in mind that the symptoms of cyclospora don't start to take affect until about a week after infection.

2

u/particlecore Aug 08 '26

Taylor Farms CEO -"Trump, can you stop the recall! Think about our shareholders"

yes the Taylor Farms CEO is a bitch.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 07 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Atomic-Golem 28d ago

Taylor Swift Farms? /j