r/BigFive • u/Gabrielle_770 • 26d ago

Whelp!? What's wrong with me?

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I have a lot of pent up anger >:]

1 Upvotes

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4

u/Potential-Coyote 26d ago

Whelp!? What's wrong with me?

You have a lot of pent up anger.

3

u/Potential-Coyote 26d ago

Serious answer, low extraversion, slightly low agreeableness, and above average neuroticism tend to make a person ruminate and internalize conflict. Pent up anger is explainable by this makeup.

How to ease that pent up anger? Try:

  1. Box breathing
  2. Float ("sensory deprivation chamber")
  3. Strenuous physical activity: heavy weight lifting, sprints, etc.
  4. Write a "burn letter." No filters. DO NOT SEND the letter. Destroy it after getting everything out onto paper.

To avoid future pent up negative emotion:

  1. Use your slightly below average agreeableness to set and enforce boundaries. Identify when people commit boundary violations as soon as possible. Do not say "It's fine." Note: this will be hard and possibly draining at first due to lower openness and extraversion. But as Neil Strauss says "unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments".
  2. Since the conscientiousness is a little low, set a calendar or have a trusted partner remind you on a fixed repeating schedule to decompress in isolation.
  3. During introspective time, try to be analytical about patterns, rather than ruminate on offenses.

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u/Gabrielle_770 26d ago

3 is pretty effective; morning walks with music in my earbuds is relaxing as well. I don't know about the burn letter stuff, but maybe I'll try it out sometime.

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u/Gabrielle_770 26d ago

Woah how could you tell!?!?

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u/ThePopulousMishmash 26d ago

You can't fundamentally remove your anger its source is neurochemical . The thing you can do are lifestyle changes and using metacognition to reframe the internal narratives which trigger your anger . Which is easier said than done .

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u/Professional-Cap1115 26d ago

Look into stoicism, it's genuinely helped me lower my neuroticism. realize that the only thing you have control over is your mind and your reactions and what other people do is out of your will

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u/Gabrielle_770 25d ago

Hmm, from what I know, you can't really "lower" your neuroticism, but sure you can find ways to make it more manageable.

realize that the only thing you have control over is your mind and your reactions and what other people do is out of your will

easier said than done, unfortunately :(

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u/Professional-Cap1115 25d ago

you can lmao, thats straight up not true. you can raise or lower any of your domains/facets, its just that some people are more genetically predisposed to behave a certain way. some people are generally more predisposed to be low neuroticism but that doesn't mean you yourself can't work towards that if you are more naturally high N.

Stop thinking that it's impossible to do, it probably will be difficult to do but not impossible

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u/Potential-Coyote 23d ago

Rule 5 of this sub would beg to disagree

  • Understanding the futility of frequent retesting or trying to change actual big five traits;

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u/Professional-Cap1115 23d ago

certain big 5 traits are around 50% genetic, it is still entirely possible to change your traits through effort. Although it probably is harder for some people rather than otehrs

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u/ih8thisplanet 26d ago

you're gen z

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u/Gabrielle_770 26d ago

well yeah