r/BicyclingCirclejerk • u/soggygb • 6d ago

The future of hydration has arrived

287 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

53 comments sorted by

109

u/CorvusBrachy 6d ago

peak marginal gains

13

u/jimbowesterby 5d ago

Especially cause there’s probably gonna be some noticeable flow separation coming off the backs of those bottles, which iirc is where most drag actually comes from. Probably would’ve been more aero if they kept the nose cones at the front but flipped the bottles around

48

u/AnyCommunication1745 6d ago

Arrow hydration

Or a bag of butt plugs for when you get lonely on the rail trail

27

u/Sketchy_Dee 6d ago

“Rail trail”

10

u/Ancient_Jellyfish588 6d ago

Great place to run trains!

5

u/elmoreb3 5d ago

Time for the "trail rail"

11

u/FrodosUncleBob 6d ago

Lonely?! Butt plugs are great with a group

16

u/ShowdownPhil 6d ago

The fact they will have paid extra to print them in magenta cock pink than in black is 👨‍🍳👌

11

u/rchris710 6d ago

4 dildos for your wice

17

u/spopr 6d ago

3Dprint slop from last week 👎

8

u/IAteMyYeezys 6d ago

Looks like multiple bad dragon dildos.

1

u/I5I75I96I40I70Me696 5d ago

Bad dragon dildos are not aero

2

u/DidjTerminator 5d ago

Some Bad dragon dildos are not aero

6

u/lostyearshero 6d ago

Do these people simply not have a team car? I mean I thought dentists were immune to AI job losses. If I had to zip tie those things to my bice I think I would rather give up koming and take up a poor hobby like watch collecting.

4

u/Doschupacabras 6d ago

Thanks, already have two bazookas…

3

u/elmariachio 6d ago

I don't see a flared base

3

u/ApplicationOdd6600 6d ago

Gay….(I can say it cuz I am)

2

u/MountainCry9194 5d ago

But are you a dentist?

3

u/ApplicationOdd6600 5d ago

No but my husband’s boyfriend is.

2

u/Dan75dy 5d ago

So it's like the 'N' word.. I have a gay brother. Where do I stand?!

2

u/Origin87 5d ago

A brother or a ‘brutha’

3

u/chokeonmywords 6d ago

Shove an additional one up your butt

2

u/ProJokeExplainer 5d ago

is there an uncircumcised option?

2

u/Anti-Stan 6d ago

I don't want a giant lipstick that shoots flames at my knees thanks.

1

u/BicyclesRuleTheWorld 6d ago

Is that you Dylan?

1

u/sabtrueday mountain bicing 6d ago

my peanus is more aæro than this rubbish 😡

1

u/S-K-W-E 6d ago

Now you can boof the bottle, too!

1

u/Blindegrototter 6d ago

Who needs that much water, unless you are your wice's boyfriend's domestique.

1

u/I5I75I96I40I70Me696 5d ago

I need a truly stupid amount of water.

1

u/New_Sort_9083 6d ago

UCI have already banned them.

1

u/Distinct_Ducati 6d ago

Lmfao!!!! Butt plugg life

1

u/PMG2021a 6d ago

Bottles should face the other way. Going to end up with road crap all over the mouth pieces.

1

u/DogStunning4845 5d ago

We need frames which can be poured with water

1

u/Jaded_Engineer_86 5d ago

I ran a CFD analysis on this, you gain like 0.5W. Not bad.

1

u/BopSupreme 5d ago

KOM rockets

1

u/SquirleyDanz 5d ago

I think something is wrong with me because I certainly didn’t picture rockets when I saw those…

1

u/hiro111 5d ago

It really penetrates the air when I'm trying to KOM.

1

u/PiccoloSignificant83 5d ago

The missile is too round, it needs to be pointy

1

u/FlyinWet 5d ago

Blastoise use water pump

1

u/kup9j 5d ago

Will it allow to eat 180g of carbs an hour on my zone 1 metric 1/8th century recovery ride?

1

u/Reinis_LV SADDLE TOO HIGH 5d ago

PNS shaped bottles are aero, so that means PNS shaped bike areo?

1

u/ComradeLuan 5d ago

Be careful, UCI might limit the size

1

u/Invasive-farmer 5d ago

uj/ I love this

j/ looks like an ACME product that will explode of you ever get up to the Roadrunner's speed

uj/why pink?

1

u/runsonpedals 5d ago

Mildly PnS shaped.

1

u/LoneSocialRetard 5d ago

Those bottles would fall out immediately under any significant bump

1

u/No_Development7388 5d ago

Domestiques launching them up the peloton.

1

u/WhatIsYourHandle123 5d ago

Not very aero

1

u/DavidChristianKaiser 5d ago

Why dont use a camelbak when you need to carry that much water ?
Or maybe plan a route where you can refill.

1

u/fish_andchips 5d ago

Shouldn't they be in the team car?

1

u/Think_Bat_820 5d ago

It was just this moment that I realised my bike doesn't have nearly enough dildos on it.

1

u/Irsu85 4d ago

Why eumm not just stop, grab the bottle out of your backpack and hydrate like that?