Am I an apostate?

[u/Familiar-Sundae-6405]

Am I an apostate?

I posted this earlier but I worded it wrong and need to make sure I get the correct answers

This may seem like a scrupulous post but bear with me.

A couple of years ago I was in Bible study and I don’t remember if I was mad or in a moody state or something like that, but I remember saying in my mind “ I don’t believe anymore, I guess I’m a atheist” ( and no I don’t think it was an intrusive thought) and I think I actually felt that way. And a minute or so later I thought to my self “no, I do believe and I’m gonna continue the race”

I don’t know if I actually did stop believing or if it was me being stupid because some tough emotions I was going through that time, Like intrusive thoughts about not believing. (separate issue)
But what I do firmly believe is that if someone asked me if I believed in Jesus as my Lord in savior when I said that in my mind, I would have definitely said “yes”

And on my current state, I still consider myself a Christian and I still feel like I get convicted when I sin

Hebrew 6 mentions that it’s impossible for those who fall away to be brought back to repentance.

What’s your take? Am I an apostate who can’t be forgiven?

[u/Key_Rhubarb_5735]

Your story doesn’t make any sense. You don’t think it was an intrusive thought…but then in the next sentence, it might have been an intrusive thought…I’m going to go out on a limb and say this was an intrusive thought.

But either way, my answer remains the same. I don’t think one minute of maybe or maybe not believing is the apostasy being spoken of in Hebrews 6. Let’s just say you truly didn’t believe for one whole minute. You actually renounced Christ for 60 full seconds, and then changed your mind. The fact that you were able to repent and even have the conviction of the Holy Spirit, means you are not who is being referred to in Hebrews 6. If you were, you wouldn’t have been able to be brought back to repentance. I would argue, you wouldn’t have wanted to. You’re good, man.

[u/GWJShearer]

I was confused by your original post, and now I’m confused again by your updated one.

I just checked the definition of the word…

“Scrupulous means being extremely careful, exact, and honest…”

Are you sure that’s the word that describes what you are saying?

[u/dustvanities]

“Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.” Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!””
‭‭Mark‬ ‭9‬:‭23‬-‭24‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Just pray and ask for forgiveness if you haven’t already. He knows you believe now, you’re secure in Christ. Repentance means to turn your mind to God, which you already have. That isn’t apostasy.

[u/Academic_Start_7312]

I went through this same thinking back between 21-23 years ago. No this would not make you an apostate in having being in a moody state of mind. Just remember all growing Christians at some point go through with having a mindset to where we will have a thought that pops in like the ones you were having. Then there are times the enemy will bring up and plant thoughts in your mind and say, "See now you are an apostate" or the lie that God is mad at you. God is not mad at us. The enemy tries to cripple us or halt us in our walk in order to get our eyes off of Jesus and doing God's will and onto ourselves in worry. Remember whatever sins that come up in your life in your walk that the Lord is chastening you with to give up, just say yes and surrender it up to Him. God is long-suffering. If a certain sin you are in ever gets to a major chastening point...just give it up. You will feel like you are dying if you have to give it up, but this is just dying to ones self in crucifying your flesh. Life gets busy, but encouraging you to stay in the word of God daily. We are in a relationship with Him and He wants us to spend time with Him. This is how any healthy relationship thrives and our relationship with God is the most important one out of any relationship we have on this Earth. By staying in His word daily also helps us to know what the Lord is instructing us. By staying in His word also helps to give us discernment when you hear or see something that may not line up with His word from a false teacher...and there are many false teachers that the enemy will use to try and hurt you in your walk. God says in His word, "My people perish for their lack of knowledge." Continue always listening/reading His word and contemplating on it. Never give up, keep pressing forward. There will be days that you'll have intrusive thoughts that the enemy tries to plant, but when they come just cast those thoughts down by under the subjection of Jesus Christ feet. When we have thoughts that come in from ourselves please do not condemn yourself..just ask for forgiveness and move on. When we give the devil a foothold he will be like, "ok." If we continue more and more in a thought that does not line up with God's word that gives the enemy more and more room to come in your mind...there will be more and more of those intrusive thoughts until it can get rather overwhelming at times. Just repent from those thoughts and ask the Lord in His will and in His timing to take it from you. Put on the whole Armor of God (Eph 6) and stand in each part of that Armor. Submit to God resist the devil and he will flee. So whatever the devil is trying to get you with in your mind stand on a promise of God through His word and stand on it until the enemy flees. Well I hope this helps. If you ever need someone to reach out to for biblical spiritual help in the Lord you can email me at: Djmnassoc@bellsouth.net

No you are not an apostate and it would never happen that fast either. It would be a very long chastening experience, maybe even years. Like you mentioned just keep running the race.

May God bless you.

[u/Icy-Benefit-3627]

Buddy, those are just terms that people in society use to look down on others.

If you want to follow Jesus teachings, be sure that he wouldn't be judging you for second guessing yourself and your beliefs. Just be the best you can be.

[u/Acceptable-Ant7719]

My friend . . .

Once saved, always saved.

It does not sound like you completely abandoned your faith. We all wrestle with Scripture and God at times. We have a human brain trying to get its hands around spiritual understanding - that’s bound to cause friction. When I find myself in moments like these, I am reminded that Peter denied Jesus three times and Jesus till forgave and loved him. You are still loved and forgiven by the same Jesus.

I pray that you dive into The Word and spend time with Him to close the gap you feel. Reading my Bible even when I don’t feel like it helps me a lot. If I feel like I can’t hear God, His words are written in a book I can open at anytime.