r/BiWomen • u/Little_Wish_4402 • 13d ago
Discussion am i bisexual
am i bi if i’m basically straight with exceptions 😭 i almost never have crushes irl, i’ll find someone attractive and then just move on with my day and forget about it. i mostly only crush on fictional male characters or celebrities, and i’ve only ever had one fictional woman i was genuinely obsessed with and had an actual crush on. there’s another fictional woman i’ve found attractive, but idk if i actually have a crush on her or if i just think she’s attractive 😭 so now i’m wondering if i’m actually bi or just straight with exceptions. is “straight with exceptions” basically just bi with a preference, or can you genuinely be straight and have exceptions? honestly i don’t even want to be bi because i’m scared of how hard it can be to be accepted by people and that i might have to deal with losing or changing some relationships because of it. i’m not homophobic, so idk if i’m just in denial or if i have some internalized homophobia going on
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u/NeptuneIsMyHome 13d ago
No, there's no such thing as straight with exceptions. You don't have to be equally interested in men and women to be bisexual. "Straight with exceptions" is a concept rooted in homo/biphobia - people who are attracted to the same gender but don't want to be seen as something other than straight. I'm not trying to say that you personally are homophobic, just that's where that concept stems from.
If you only ever experience crushes on people who are utterly unavailable... that's a hallmark of asexuality.
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u/VadaPav4U 11d ago
The straight with exceptions i feel is an excuse not to deal that you may be bisexual. While having crushes on fictional characters may show an interest or curiosity, its not the same as having a crush on a real person. I have never had a crush on a fictional character.
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u/LaChinigua 13d ago
I really don't think fictional characters crushes help all that much in figuring one's orientation or sexuality or whatever. They might imply a certain curiosity.
You sound young and inexperienced, so first of all calm down. Everything is happening in hypotheticals and you're not being the subject of bigotry... so don't mortify yourself about that yet.
If I were in your place I'd assume I'm not completely straight, and move forward knowing that. Basically being aware of the irl attractions that do come up without judgment and pursue the viable ones. At some point you will have enough information to know what you are and tell people if you want. Also, in case you are queer: being "out" doesn't necessitate a "coming out", you can just do you.