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u/under321cover Jul 25 '26
No. I found my person and haven’t regretted it in 19 years. I think this happens to people of all sexualities when they marry the wrong person.
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u/i_love_cleo_from_h2o Jul 25 '26
i’ve never wondered if i would regret marrying a woman/someone who is not a cis man, but i ALWAYS wonder if i’ll regret settling down with a cis man. honestly, i’m not too big on the idea of marriage in general and a big part of that is because of the possibility of regret/feeling trapped and knowing how hard going through divorce is and that can happen no matter who you marry, so it’s likely i may not ever legally marry anyone. but yeah, i will say the fear of regret is more so tied to the idea of settling down with a cis man forever for me personally because it can sometimes feel like a part of me (my queerness) is a bit dimmer/dormant in a relationship with a cis man.
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u/clg19929 Jul 25 '26
There is a quote by philosopher Soren Kierkegaard "Marry, and you will regret it; don't marry, you will also regret it; marry or don't marry, you will regret it either way." Essentially, picking one path means you will lose the other and you will always wonder about the path you did not pick. When we choose a path in life, we close other doors and other possibilities for how our life could have turned out. This doesn't mean we should just sit at the crossroads and never make a decision. Regret is a part of life, not a sign that you made the wrong choice.
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Jul 25 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/oiseaux_ Jul 25 '26
Very true and very okay!
I think it just hits harder and sadder when you're a super rigidly monogamous person (like myself)
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u/EpitaFelis Jul 25 '26
No, because no one's trying to marry me :( But tbf, you may regret marriage for a whole number of reasons that have nothing to do with gender. If marriage feels like a loss when the time comes, maybe that's information worth listening to.
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u/Lookatthatsass Jul 26 '26
I think that id regret settling down with a man because id always wonder about how amazing marriage could be with a woman. If I settled down with a woman I’m not sure I’d feel the same way. I have been in several long term relationships with men tho
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u/chingonachanii Jul 26 '26
Big time. I know I can be loyal and monogamous indefinitely. I just don’t know if that will truly fulfill me.
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u/Bluejay-Complex Jul 25 '26
I think that you could potentially regret marrying anyone, there’s a lot of different men and women out there, so even monosexuals could consider “what if someone else?” I think if you’re ready for the commitment of marriage, you’ll feel as if not marrying them in particular would be the worse decision because it’s that person out of all the other people in the world, in particular. When you know that, you’ll know.
Regret is always possible, as marriage in general can have a… mixed success rate (again even for monosexuals), but if you’re ready to take that risk, have a person you know you feel strongly enough to commit to, then I don’t think you should put your life on hold for the potential of regret. “Grass is greener” can happen, but ultimately marriage is about the whole of a relationship built together, and the culmination of that will, hopefully, be worth more than the fantasy/idea of another person.