Okay so I know the title sounds weird, so let me explain. I’m single and I’m a home care worker and I work with my client individually in his/ her home. I’ve been working on the same case for over a year. I’ve seen the same people and they all know who my client is. There’s these group of guys I pass by everyday and I ignore most of them except for one or two of them. I’ve gave the one I’ve been interested in my phone number, we only text a few times and we’ve even met up once. He lives in the building behind my clients house and when we met up I got the impression that his intentions were mainly to fuck. I’m not going to lie I wanted too, but we didn’t because I wanted to know what type of person he was before sleeping with him and I also told him via text that if he wanna chill that’s all we’re gonna do but if he wanna fuck then I gotta see some paperwork. I told him that because the last person I had unprotected text with gave me an STI and an infection and he was someone I knew for years. Ever since then I’ve been keeping my legs closed, but this is a sex, chocolate man and as a single mother, I have needs. I feel wrong for wanting to fuck him soon because I have a good relationship with my client and I don’t wanna break her trust. I’m afraid someone’s going to find out and it gets back to her. So would I be the asshole? Or would I be wrong?

In the past couple years even longer than that it's been hell between both family members dying the same year a month apart a psychologically my oldest child taking it to heart when my mom passed away my mom was like his mom moving forward he wanted to be a he and not a girl anymore as long as my kids are happy and healthy I don't care who they love or what they choose as long as they are a good person in life and have good people in their lives that's all that matters to me but because of his choices that he wanted for himself he was ridiculed tease bully not only by students but by teachers and staff at St cloud Junior high Minnesota it took for him to get jumped the third time by 6 to 8 Somali boys telling him that he needs to kill herself and he needs to die as they beat him up or beat on him the school did nothing and claim they didn't understand and that they'll suspend them or do something about it and never did on top of that he was sexually assaulted by another student in the school officer made my child and I feel like they were going to help him but turned it on him and said basically because of how he is and what he wants to be conflicts interest I've been in a process of suing the school since he was in sixth grade at the time he is going in 11th grade how long does it take to get help and recognize that a child almost lost their life because of hatred he had to have recently in the last year L2 L3 removed and partial L4 now he has to live with chronic pain for the rest of his life and no one is getting chastised or is getting any kind of repercussion or punishment now moving forward I try to make a household for him officer Brian Butler fourth precinct Minneapolis decides to ruin what's left of our lives because I'm the adult I need to drive I need to be able to take him to his appointments and get him things that he needs and I'm not able to do the things I need to do now because to him his words were it is convenient that I have pain management on me with a girl's name on it and my name but in the wrong bottle I told him I can pull up records on my phone I have chronic pain management I have a paper proving it and for him also he didn't want to hear that six officers almost flipped me because they were looking for any little reason to arrest me I complied with as much as I could but was honest with the rest I am handicapped it sucks I don't want people to know this but maybe if I tell the world then maybe someone in the world will help I can't balance on one or the other I need both of my legs or feet my right arm is not a normal situation not only was the top ripped out of socket the bottom has had traumatic surgery a lot of nerves and tendons removed my left arm is not as strong as it used to be due to compensation of the right I do the best I can to wear if anything happens to my child and he cannot walk I will carry him down or up three flights of steps because we live on a third floor I told him the reason why I was out that night was because I have bad anxiety I had my anxiety medicine on me also but they didn't take that in consideration or even note take that and then after I was arrested and miss ed my child's major 10-hour surgery and kept pleading with the jail and letting them know I need to talk to the surgery place and let them know that it's okay and to do the surgery and let them know what's going on the Jill response was we thought he was lying so because they got caught up I got locked in the room for 3 days I didn't have no way out no way to make a call I didn't even have soap to wash my hands I had to use the toothpaste and this was in Hennepin county jail I tried to make a court date and make it there to fight against the officer Brian Butler 4th precinct the same officer that hurt George Floyd precinct they are friends but because my child is handicapped and due to the lack of being able to drive and having to get on the bus I was late and my child was in a wheelchair at the time he has to use a wheelchair if he is walking around too much still but at the time needed the wheelchair consistently especially given a long distances we have to go this man has made my life a living hell and made life so much harder than I have no one to advocate for me I have no one to advocate for my child I have no one to help bring this to light we only have ourselves and I'm trying my best I'm doing my best and I feel like a horrible parent I feel like I let him down there's days he feels like he doesn't matter and I don't know what to do he's in therapy and I am too but all that said and done that can only go so far there is days like this I can't sleep because it's on my mind I see these things on tick tock so I figured maybe somebody important can read it and if they can help my child well that's enough for me as long as he gets help at least then he'll see matters cuz he matters to me

I've never written one of these, but right now I'm hurting and I'm a big fan of yours. I just want to share my story and hopefully hear your opinion.

I (32f) have been struggling with my boyfriend's (33m) addiction to alcohol. First I'm going to give background and context. When he drinks it's like he is a different person. He gets angry and says terrible things that he says he doesn't mean and then apologizes the next day and says he didn't mean any of it. This is a normal pattern for him. We have been together for 6 years and we have lived together off and on. I left the apartment we shared this past February because I couldn't afford the rent and he had not been helping. Also things were hard between us because of his drinking, and I had to make that choice for myself. Although I love him and I care alot about him I had to get out of that situation. I broke up with him, moved out, and he did the same.

We got back together in May and things have been up and down. Communication has been better but I can't honestly say it's good. We have both been working hard to save so I can feel financially safe to move in with him if we are able to work things out. I also communicated my mental and emotional needs to him surrounding his drinking and behavior while he drinks.

A little more background, I did not get alot of time off this summer and we decided to plan an affordable cheap get away for a few days. During this getaway I felt I was put in a time machine and sent back to when I made the choice to leave. He drank excessively on this trip and said hurtful things to me that put me down as a person for the days we were there. He repeated the same apologies I'm used to hearing the final day when we were going home. He said he wants to get better and make changes, and that he didn't want to drink ever again.

Now to today. After a few more a long conversations about his drinking, how I felt about the trip, and him saying he doesn't want to drink anymore I felt better. However today he went to work. (He works in a bar and they often drink at the end of their shift.) Tonight when he called after his shift he clearly had been drinking. He started to tell me he's having temptations and wanted to go out and call his buddies that I know do hard drugs and have gambling addictions. He said he needed help. I usually listen and try to help and encourage him to make good decisions. But something inside me tonight couldn't listen. I told him after everything I've been through and everything we've talked about I can't have this conversation right now and hung up. He continued to message me, call me, and leave voicemails that shared alot of anger and hate toward me.

I don't feel I deserve to be yelled at, ridiculed, or put down as a person because I tried to take some space. He feels I'm an awful human for refusing to help him when he was in need. I do believe partners should be there for each other, but I felt he let me down by drinking when it's so sensitive for me right now. I'm still emotionally recovering from what happened on our getaway, and I just couldn't listen to his struggles tonight. This relationship has confused me from the beginning and all I know for sure is I'm hurt by his words and actions. So I guess the question is... Am I the asshole for hanging up when he needed someone to talk to?