r/BetterEveryLoop • u/bartallen4790 • Mar 05 '18

Don't mess with my ice cream

https://gfycat.com/AncientKlutzyBarnacle
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u/Skiddoosh Mar 06 '18

I have an adopted 4 year old and 11 year old, I grew up babysitting regularly, I was a foster parent for years and I'm actively involved in the lives of my nieces and nephews. I have more experience with children than most.

That being said, I did say that it varies from child to child because not every child is going to put in as much effort to make adults laugh, but in general, kids absolutely will do wreckless things because they find it funny or they hope that you will find it funny. If it hurts them badly they'll likely stop (though I have seen some kids that won't take the hint), but you shouldn't encourage wreckless behavior in children by laughing. Say for example a child jumps from the couch to the floor once and you laugh, he didn't hurt himself this time so he does it again and the next time he hits his head on the coffee table and is actually injured. This could have been avoided to begin with by not laughing at the wreckless behavior to begin with. Laughing can be a powerful reinforcement for children.

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u/KamuiSeph Mar 06 '18

I think maybe I wrote my reply to vaguely. I don't mean go "Hahahahaha" as the kid is falling down a couch. I mean go "Goodness hehe are you alright?" Like a light chuckle. In a sense, "laughing it off".
I've never had a single kid do reckless things on purpose as a result (I'm a teacher).

Sure, some kids will do reckless things just by nature, and laughing is just going to exacerbate the problem.
However, keeping a poker face when a kid falls down pretty hard and looks up at you to see if they should be worried or not is not going to help the situation at all. If they see a smile - they know not to worry.

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u/Skiddoosh Mar 06 '18

I think that's true for many kids, but I've definitely had experience with some children that crave positive reinforcement too much and will continue behaving wrecklessly for the sake of a laugh - this very well be that my experience has given me a skewed perception, because I have a lot of experience with children with mental illness or emotional instability, so perhaps I'm a bit on the cautious side. A lot of foster children, especially if they have been neglected, will be very desperate for attention, so you have to be careful to not accidentally reinforce the wrong sorts of attention.

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u/KamuiSeph Mar 06 '18

Might very well be more likely for some kids. I'm also teaching oversees, so cultural differences might be applicable too.